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Does political correctness piss you off? I can tell you, it pisses me off no end. The thing is there is a funny side to political correctness which is why I’ve included it in this weeks Friday Funnies. Well, it’s not really a funny side so much as a joke I received as an email, and after all, jokes is what Friday Funnies is all about.

This political correctness joke happens in the workplace and the content of the notice handed out to employees is a good example to anyone wanting to know how to respond to certain situations at work. 

PS, the following has a lot of F words so if you find them upsetting you best not read this weeks Friday Funnies post.

Political Correctness Situations

Notification to All Staff Regarding Language!

It has been brought to our attention that some individuals have been using politically incorrect and bad language during the execution of their duties. Due to complaints from some employees and customers who are more easily offended, this type of language will no longer be supported.

However, we do realise the importance of staff being able to properly express their feelings when communicating with others. With this in mind, the Personnel Section has compiled a list of code phrase replacements so the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risking offence to our more sensitive coworkers.

political correctness

Old Phrase

No fucking way!

You’re fucking kidding!

Who the fuck are you?

Tell someone who gives a fuck!

No cunt told me!

You know fuck all about it!

I don’t have the fucking time!

Who fucking cars? 

Eat shit and die!

What the fuck do you want?

Kiss my arse!

He’s a fucking prick

You wouldn’t have a fucking clue

This place is fucked!

Stick it up your arse!

What sort of fuck wit are you?

Fuck off shit head!

You’re a fucking wanker!

He’s a dumb cunt!

Ha! Suck eggs.

You’re fucking paranoid

You’re as thick as two planks!

You’re fucking useless!

Fuck off!

Fuck off dick head!

How did you get that shit to work

You fucking loser!

I don’t give a shit

Well fuck me!

New Phrase

I’m fairly sure that’s not feasible.

Really?

Hi- we haven’t met….

Have you run that by…….

I wasn’t involved with that project.

You seem perplexed

Perhaps I can work late.

Are you sure that’s a problem?

You don’t say!

Hello, can I help you?

So, you’d like me to help you?

He’s somewhat insensitive

You could use some more training.

We’re a little disorganised today.

No, thanks very much

You’re new here aren’t you?

Well there you go!

Your my boss & I respect you.

He drives a Volvo

I wasn’t even here today

So, you’re from Melbourne?

So. you’re a Queenslander?

So, you’re English?

I’ll look into it and get back to you.

I no longer require your help

Well done!

Gee, that was unfortunate!

I’ll certainly think it over.

Golly!

Safe Sex Poster   :devil_tb:

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Funny Things That Happen To Women

That’s it. I hope you enjoyed this weeks Friday Funnies and that you have a great weekend. 

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