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Blog Save The Akismet, Long Live The Akismet

In the beginning there was a great void and then a wise person started the first blog and all was good. In time more and more blogs came to life filling the great void with information, bad good and indifferent. Then people came to life who saw a way to use the blogs for their own purposes when they found that leaving comments with their url attached impressed the omnipotent Google who would then give them a high PR.

Over time this pissed Google off because it upset his algorithm and Google wanted all blogs to go no-follow. And yet there was a growing number of bloggers who said NO, stuff you Google, we want to reward our commentators and in defiance of Google’s wishes these bloggers went D0-Follow.

Things were going swell for a time but then an evil group of trolls was born who in time were known as spammers. These people were not content with leaving good comments in order to get a link back to their site. No, they would not even read the post and would therefore leave nonsensical comments. They would even fail to follow a blog’s comment policy by leaving a keyword instead of a name.

At first bloggers would delete these comments but there came a time when the spam grew to unmanageable amounts and bloggers were left in despair. Then came the great Akismet, a simple WordPress plugin that was able to detect the greater majority of spam sending them to Hades where they met their just fate. But Akismet was unable to detect all spam and so Akismet gave bloggers control over their comments. Akismet said to the bloggers; “Thou hath the right to mark as spam any comments that I miss in my spam busting mission”

Unfortunately there were some bloggers who used Akismet unwisely spamming some comments for the wrong reason. Then came a time when some people grew angry at the benevolent Akismet for spamming their comments. They jumped up and down waving their hands in the air demanding that Akismet was going too far, but Akismet was quiet for Akismet was not at fault.This upset them no end and they were forever unhappy with their lot.

But all was not lost for there was those who worshiped Akismet, for they appreciated all the work and continuous  upgrades that Akismet  supplied at no cost. They were also very thankful for Akismet for taking the great burden of spam off their shoulders, and they were happy with the blogosphere.

Who would have thought that something like this would actually come about, that there would be two groups of Akismet people, those who were happy with the plugin and those who were angry with it.

Personally I love Akismet because it does save me so much time, and not only that it is really pretty accurate and I hardly ever have to fish any comments that it’s picked up as spam. Another thing I like about it is that it allows me the option to mark comments as spam that it’s missed out. This virtually teaches Akismet so that next time it will recognize such comments as spam.

The trouble is some people may be marking comments as spam that may be legitimate, but do you blame Akismet for that? Nope, it’s not the plugin’s, nor the developer’s, fault if people abuse their power on how it’s used.

Wikipedia’s interpretation of Spam is;

Spam is the use of electronic messaging systems (including most broadcast media, digital delivery systems) to send unsolicited bulk messages indiscriminately. While the most widely recognized form of spam is e-mail spam, the term is applied to similar abuses in other media: instant messaging spam, Usenet newsgroup spam, Web search engine spam, spam in blogs, wiki spam, online classified ads spam, mobile phone messaging spam, Internet forum spam, junk fax transmissions, social networking spam, television advertising  and file sharing network spam.

This is a rather broad description and the problem is that as far as comments go what one person finds quite acceptable another person sees it as spam. I can’t vouch for other blogs but I’m going to list some of the things that you may do on this blog that will cause you to be sent to Akismet’s spam hell.

  1. Using Keywords instead of your name: I think this is a no no for most bloggers, especially if it’s listed as such in their comment policy. Personally, if it’s a good comment I will either delink it or remove the keywords from the url.  If the comment is of no value and the commentator obviously hadn’t read the post I will spam it.
  2. Not following instructions: I will sometimes point out to people, either via email or withing a comment, if they are doing something wrong and if they continue on their merry way disregarding my instructions I will spam them. Honesty I have better things to do than deleting their comments.
  3. Leaving stupid comments just for the sake of a link: While I normally delete these, I will spam repeat offenders.

A bit harsh you reckon? I don’t think so. I devote a lot of time to this blog and I cherish those commentators who take the time to not only read my posts but take the time to leave comments that add to that post. If you’re not willing to do that and I leave your comments then I am doing a disservice to those who do the right thing.

Why not just delete the comment rather than spamming them? Because that will not resolve the problem. People need to respect the fact that do-dollow blogs are there because bloggers wish to reward their commentators but that does not mean they have the right to abuse that bloggers generosity, and when you decide to ignore comment policy and other explicit instructions you are stepping out of line and have to wear the consequences.

In summation, if you do not want to be spammed do all the right things, behave when commenting and not only will you live a spam free existence others will come to respect you as diligent commentators.

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Taking Off Your Clothes For The Greater Good


It doesn’t matter where you are, it doesn’t matter what your doing, sex is lurking somewhere waiting to pounce. There’s sex on TV! There’s sex on the Internet. There’s sex in magazines, there’s even sexting of which some say it should be illegal and some are just amazed it exists.

There’s sex in advertising, because everyone knows that sex sells. There’s raunchy hot steaming sex and there’s the quicky in the back seat of a car sex. People are either doing it, talking about it, wishing they were getting more or watching as it’s happening all around them. Heck, I reckon if you looked hard enough you’d even find it under the kitchen sink.

American model and television host Michele Merkin.
Image via Wikipedia

There is so much sex that it’s starting to create problems around the globe, especially because our kids are being exposed at such a young age. A lot of people blame the parents but honestly I reckon they’ve got their hands tied because there’s no much they can do unless the lock their kids under the basement. If you want to blame someone then you just have to point your finger straight at society and all the do-gooders who are society’s stumbling block because they won’t let you do anything in case it may hurt someones sensibilities or rights.

Well, I’ve had enough and I’ve thought of a way where we can put all this nonsense behind us, but I need your help, every single one of you, because the only way this will work is if we can make one very important global change.

The World Must Go Naked


That’s right, we must persuade our leaders to pass a law where everyone has to go around their daily business completely naked. Imagine if this was the case sex would be taken right out of the equation. I admit that like every great idea there are pros and cons and I wish to discuss some of them here. But being only one man it’s inconceivable that I can cover every single one of them so I ask you all, my loyal followers, to contribute in the comment section everything that I have missed.

OK. Let’s now consider some of the PROS and CONS.

  • PRO: The demise of The Bold and Beautiful! If you take clothes out of the equation there would be no more Forresters or Jaqui M and the show would fall on it’s ass.
  • CON: There would be no more plastic surgery inflating a woman’s boobs to massive proportion because without support they would be hanging around their kneecaps in no time at all.
  • PRO: While the above would be a con there’s also a positive for all small breasted women as their pert little beauties would be highly sought after, thereby saving all the jobs of the plastic surgeons in Rodeo Drive
  • PRO: No more sex in advertising! Those lazy buggers will have to think of something more intelligent and inspiring to sell their products rather than shoving tits and asses in our faces.
  • PRO: No more being dragged shopping with the other half forced to suffer in silence while they shopped for women’s clothes including bras and panties.
  • PRO: Getting to rub on that tanning lotion so that they don’t get sunburn. :devil_tb:
  • CON: It’s going to get damn cold in winter. Oh well, we may have to suffer a little for the greater good of humanity. Perhaps someone can invent some sort of lotion that can be rubbed onto all that naked luscious flesh that can keep out the cold.
  • PRO: No more need for metal detectors at schools and airports because there’s nowhere to hide weapons
  • CON: No more body searches. Too bad guys, suck it up and find something less entertaining to do.

Can you see the potential if we could just do away with clothes? Honestly what do you reckon, are you going to get behind me or not?

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Important Link Love That You Should All Read

I thought I would send out some link love to some posts that I’ve found which I thought needed to be shared with you, my loyal readers.

The first goes to the delectable Eleanor who is looking for help in putting together an advent calendar which was suggested by Heather another gorgeous gal who is very talented when it comes to design and stuff, her blog offering a lot of advice on Practical 3D Tips and much much more.

Anyway I was going to past a raunchy video that Eleanor put together promoting the idea but then I figured I’d never get rid of you guys and the whole idea is to get you to visit her blog. So if you want to see Eleanor taking sex sells to a whole new level you should really check out her near naked post.

For those of you not familiar with Eleanor she runs Give A Brick which she uses to raise money for charity, and while there you should read her post where she is asking for Help in the form of a wish list to lighten her load and to help her in her dream of helping the needy. Once I’ve finished this post I’m going to donate a few bricks via PayPal. Donations are easy now that she listened to some blokes advice, something women rarely do, about using PayPal as a medium of collecting money.

If you can spare a couple of bucks you can be assured it will be well received. If you can’t then perhaps you can help in some other small way, the very least by giving those posts a Tweet.

The next link goes out to Gail in her efforts to get Akismet to change it’s algorithm because she feels  it is censoring comments. Personally I feel it’s doing a damn good job of helping to keep this blog spam free but if it can be improved I’m all for it.

Next Mitch is having with trouble with the thought that Americans are getting dumber, to such an extent that he’s been asked to dumb down directives given to patients to a 3rd grade level. He asks several questions including whether or not the education system is failing them. I can’t vouch for the Yank’s system but I have some doubt about ours and it’s not being helped by the education union.

Last but by no means least I want to tell you about what could be the best blogging contest ever. It’s called the Famous Bloggers ComLuv Blogging Contest and if you were ever to enter a contest this would have to be the one because it has over $3500 in prizes which means there are going to be some very happy winners. You will all be happy to know that I won’t be entering so your chances of winning will have increased by a huge margin.

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