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Pommie Humour

In honour of my latest video, Diary Of A Pommie In Western Australia, I’m dedicating this Friday Funnies post to Pommie Humour. I first wrote about this particular Pommie Humour back in 2012! That post was called Living in Australia and Buying Your first Condom. It was actually the second post in the Friday Funnies series.

Funny Pommie Humour

This first bit of Pommie Humour isn’t accurate at all when depicting a Aussie dunny, but its still funny.

This takes place in the north of Australia i a place called Queensland which is very hot, humid and the pubs are rough. 

This posh pommie bloke travelling through Queensland in the middle of summer by bicycle is caught in a huge tropical storm. He sees a sign which says there is a pub 18 miles up the road. So he rides his bike to the pub and when he finally gets there his appearance resembles that of a drowned rat. 

As he walks in the locals hardly even look up from their beers. Even though he’s dripping wet. He heads up to the bar and orders a scotch on ice. The barman gives him the worst scotch he’s ever tasted but the pommie drinks it down and asks the barman where the dunny (toilet) is. The barman tells him it is outside. 

So the pommie trudges outside into the rain and all he can see in the rain is two big piles of turds, one much bigger than the other. So the pommie walks over to the smaller pile, relieved that someone had the sense to start a new pile since the larger one was clearly unmanageable. 

He has his pants around his ankles and is in the process of relieving himself when a gunshot rings out and a bullet smacks into the heap just beside his head. 

Well the poor pommie turns around, in a somewhat vulnerable position, and sees this huge Aussie guy standing at the door of the pub with his still smoking gun in his hand. 

“What..What is going on?” Stammers the poor pommie. 

The huge Aussie responds “Get the hell out of the Ladies you dirty bastard.”

Funny Pommie Joke Image

pommie humour

Speaking of funny jokes, how about my Marriage Humour and The Fishing Trip. You could also check out some of my other funniest jokes. Love funny videos? Then you’ve got to watch my funny laughaholics videos. While there, why not subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Funny Sayings Friday Funnies #343

Do you like funny sayings? I love funny sayings. There are some who may refer to funny sayings as being related to proverbs. I’m not so sure as former are intended to either educate or give advice in some way. While the hilarous sayings you will find in this post may contain some helpful information, their sole purpose is to make you laugh.

Funny Sayings In An Unfair World

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s considered sexual harassment.

When a woman talks dirty to a man its $10.50/min (charges may vary).

 My wife and I had words, but I didn’t get to use mine.

 Don’t worry about avoiding temptation.  As you grow older, it will avoid you..

 Wife to husband: You told me you’d spend your whole life trying to make me happy.

Husband to wife:  I didn’t expect to live this long!

 As I grow older…. My mind doesn’t just wander… Sometimes it buggers off completely.

 As I have grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everybody is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

 Isn’t it weird that in Australia our flag and culture can offend so many people, yet our benefits don’t?

Of course, I have a talent. I’m exceptional in bed. There are times when I sleep more than 9 hours in one go.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.

We’re all born free and then we’re taxed to death

If you’re not supposed to eat at night why do they put a light in the fridge?

funny sayings

Aunty Acid always has funny stuff to say. I’ve featured a lot of them throughout this blog. One that I particularly like is the one where Aunty Acid has PMS.

You thought that was funny, you should check out my smart parrot jokes. You could also check out some of my other hilarious jokes. Love funny videos? Then you’ve got to watch my funny laughaholics videos. While there, why not subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Revitalise Your Blog Make More Money

revitalise your blog

Yes, if you want to make more money blogging, you must revitalise your blog! Even if you’re going to continue to make more money blogging, you must revitalise your blog. It’s essential to revitalise your blog to continue to increase the amount of money you’re making online.

Revitalise Your Blog Meaning

So, what do I mean when I’m talking about revitalising your blog? I suppose the best way to answer that question, is by telling you what I’m doing to revitalise my blogs.

Update Your Affiliate Links

It’s 2019, and I’ve decided to take a hard look at all my affiliates. Which ones are performing and which ones are not? The ones that are not converting I’ve given the flick. The ones that are I’m reviewing their landing pages as well as the banner images. Perhaps new banners will perform better. That’s something I should be doing more often.

Affiliate Banner Placements

We all know that the best place for advertising banners and affiliate links are above the fold. This is because that’s where the majority of views will be exposed to them. Not everyone will scroll below the all-important ‘fold’ of your post.

Revitalise Your Content Creation

Read more? You Know You Want to

Marriage Humour Friday Funnies #342

Marriage is a serious business and yet there is a hell of a lot of marriage humour floating around. Take this simple story of marriage humour of a poor husband denied a fishing trip with his mates.

Marriage Humour & The Fishing Trip

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect camping and fishing trip. Two days before the group is to leave Frank’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going. 

Frank’s friends are very upset that he can’t go, but there is nothing they can they do. 

A couple of days later the three arrived at the campsite only to find Frank sitting there, tent already up, firewood gathered and fish cooking on the fire. 

“Damn it, man, how long have you been here and how the hell did you talk your wife into letting you go?” 

“Well, I’ve been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair when my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said ‘’Guess who?” 

I pulled her hands off and saw she was wearing a brand new see through nightdress. She then took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose petals all over. 

 Then, slowly she said, “Now do whatever you want.” 

Here I am.

How about this for a bit of marriage humour?

marriage humour

Don’t go away just yet, I have more marriage humour for you.

A man and woman, complete strangers, were on a train travelling together. As it turned out they had to sleep in the same carriage. After some embarrassment they decided she should have the top bunk while he slept in the lower one.

Minutes later the woman leans over saying, “It’s awfully cold, would you mind getting me another blanket?”

The man, rolls over, smiling and says, “I have a better idea, why don’t we pretend we’re married?”

The woman, admiring his incredible physique, giggles and says, “Sounds good to me.”

To which the man replies, “Good, get your own blanket.”

You thought that was funny, you should check out my disgruntled wife jokes. You could also check out some of my other hilarious jokes. Love funny videos? Then you’ve got to watch my funny laughaholics videos. While there, why not subscribe to my YouTube channel.

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