The Magical Garden And The Huge Boob Bush


Disney Animation buildingOnce upon a time, in a land not so very far away, there was a magical garden tended by Sire. Sire’s expertise in the  garden was such that people used to say his green thumb extended right to his shoulder. The garden belonged to the king of the land who, much to his misfortune, married Googleless, the wicked, but buxom, witch.

Like all wicked witches Googleless was vain and her particular vanity extended to her well endowed breasts, which she maintained firm and sag free with her wicked magic. Every night as she sat topless combing her long jet black hair, she would croon to her magic mirror;

Magic Mirror on the wall

Who has the best titties of the all?

And the magic mirror would reply;

Oh Googleles, Queen so fair

Your titties are the best, beyond compare.

To which the witch queen would cackle with delight.

Now, Sire, once a royal knight of old, never liked the king’s choice of a bride, but what could he do for he was a king after all and wanton to have his way. The queen didn’t much like Sire either, most likely because of his closeness to the king, and so she made things difficult for him. Sire however, put up with her crap as he figured that the 4 weeks holiday with the 17.5% loading was well worth the irritation. Besides, he much rather tend the magical garden that joust or fight fire breathing dragons.

One day it got so bad that Sire thought it was time for payback. Knowing of her boob fixation he used all his skills to shape one of the bushes in the garden into the most luscious, titillating breasts that he could ever have imagined.

That night as the wicked witch queen sat brushing her hair, her full breasts staring at her in the mirror;

Mirror Mirror on the wall

Who has the best titties of them all?

To which the mirror replied;

Oh Googleless, Queen so fair

There are better titties than your luscious pair.

Googleless stopped mid stroke, her jaw dropped and the blood drained from her face, but only for a moment, for before you could say Google Slap, her face went red with rage and she let out a tirade of abuse that scorched the gold flakes from the mirror’s frame.

Once she calmed down she compelled the mirror to reveal whose breasts could possible be better than her own. So it was that she learned of Sire’s magical bush. “A bush,” she screams. How can a bush be better than these tits of mine, which are real and silicon free. (Reckon she must have forgotten about the magic she’s been using the vain bitch)

It was then that the mirror showed her Sire’s marvelous creation, and when she saw that they were truly better than her own she had a heart attack and died.

Upon her death a dark veil was lifted from that not so far off land, yet none but Sire knew the part that the boob bush had to play. All that people knew of the bush was that it was truly beautiful and that anyone who rubbed the leafy nipple would find good fortune. No doubt a myth that was started by the mischievous Sire.

Well, I sure hope you liked that short story, but you know it wasn’t completely fictitious. The boob bush did actually exist in my garden and I did actually tell my neighbors that I rubbed it everyday for luck. They loved it and thought the bush was a scream. Not so much the wife though. She wasn’t too impressed about having a boob with a huge nipple in her front garden. After constant nagging I decided, for the sake of some peace and quiet, that I would change the shape of the bush until it looked like the photo below.

manicuredbush

You don’t see the boob? Use your imagination guys to remove the wart on the nipple. :tongue_laugh_ee:

Hey, if you liked the story don’t forget to tweet it or to share it with your FaceBook mates by clicking the like button.

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Testing Market Samurai’s Keyword Research Tool


There has been a particular product that I’ve seen a lot of reviews about all over the net, and I wouldn’t be in the least surprised if you’ve seen them as well. I’m talking about Market Samurai and yes that is an affiliate link that will allow you to download a free copy so you can test it for yourself.

So, even though I’ve been hearing for ages about how all ‘these first-time internet marketing “newbies” who have been using this TOP SECRET Market Samurai software to easily capture front-page rankings, traffic and sales in their first few weeks online’, why have I waited until now to purchase the software?

Well you see things are finally starting to change around here. By the end of next week I will be out of work, after being self employed for some thirty odd years. While I’m not going into details, let’s just say that the payout figure was nowhere near what I needed to retire, and while I will be taking some time off for a long deserved rest I will need to find another source of income, and I figured why not blogging?

You guys all know how, although I’ve always known about the importance of keyword research I’ve never really applied it because I believed it would spoil my blogging experience. Well what if Market Samurai can do all the hard work for me, then I would have the best of both worlds.

You may be wondering why I purchased it rather than just trialling it for seven days. Well for one thing I’m still working and I knew I didn’t have time to run it through it’s paces and the other thing is that I didn’t want to miss out on the 35% savings for getting in early. If I let the trial expire I would have paid $149 instead of $97. The other reason is that to be an affiliate you have to own the software first, and I figured why take the chance of lost sales just for the sake of a few lousy bucks.

In case you haven’t heard of Market Samurai, it’s a keyword research tool that promises the following.

  • TOP RANKINGS in Search Engines
  • Finds the most PROFITABLE KEYWORDS
  • It will show you what it will take to DOMINATE YOUR COMPETITORS…

And believe me the Internet being the size that it is there’s a whole lot of competition out there so it’s a good idea to get the edge on them whenever you can. If you’re interested in future updates you may want to subscribe to the blog. Better still why not take the free trial and join me in the journey to what I hope will be financial freedom.

Try Market Samurai now for free!

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I’ve heard it said that analogies are a great way to get an idea across and I reckon that’s true because I’ve used the odd one or two with great success. For this post I’ve decided to compare blogging to fishing. Let’s say that the most important things in fishing, other than the fish itself, is the bait, the hook and the line. A hook on it’s own is pretty useless because if you throw it into the water it’s just going to sink. Even if you tie the hook to the fishing line you’d have to be really lucky to land a fish. What you need is some tasty bait.

So, let’s consider the hook to be your post. You’ve written what you consider to be some ripper content, you’ve published it but nothing happens. You may get a visitor or two sent by the search engines but they bounce so fast that it was like they were never there in the first place.

A fishing icon.

Image via Wikipedia

What you need is a ripper title to get their attention. Your title is the bait you’re using to hook your fish, which is your reader or even potential customer.

If you’ve ever checked the results from using a search engine you would have noticed that the majority of the time the first thing that appears is the title of the article. Do you see how important this is? If you’re using the wrong bait you’re not going to hook any fish. They’ll just sniff at it and move along. It makes it kind of pointless listing well in the SERPS doesn’t it?

Whilst I’ve always tried to come up with inspirational titles I never really knew if they were performing the way that they should. It wasn’t until I followed Larry to his blog, thanks to commentluv and my promise to try and follow my commentators to leave a comment on their blog, that I found a solution to this dilemma.

It was his post, Network Marketing – How To Get Your Post Read, that introduced me to this brilliant site, or more specifically a specific page of the Advanced Marketing Institute website that dealt with headlines. Their Emotional Marketing Value Headline Analyzer is the tool that will help us to find the right bait for our hook. The tool that will help us develop those titles that will lure people to our blog.

OK, now we have the right bait for our hook but the whole thing would be a waste of time if the line we’re using isn’t strong enough for the fish. If you remember at the beginning of the post we likened the content to the fishing line. If after all your hard work to land the fish they find your content lacking they’re more than likely to snap the line and swim away looking for something tastier to latch onto. So while the title is very important to get people to your blog you want to make sure that your content is good enough to keep them there and to keep them coming back for more.

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About Peter Pelliccia"