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Friday Funnies # 27 Is All About Blondes

As the wheel of time turns on it’s endless revolutions, unless something traumatic happens, we can always depend on one thing. Friday Funnies! That’s right folks it’s Friday Funnies time and do I have some killer jokes for you. In fact, because of the popularity of blonde jokes I thought I’d look through my emails to see what kind of blonde joke I could find, and believe me, I found a doozy.

But first I would like to apologise to all the blondes out there who may be offended by anything they read here. We know that regardless of all those jokes out there we all know you guys can’t possible be that dumb. Heck, if anything it’s all a devious plot you guys have put together and we’re all just too dumb to work out what your intentions are  :devil_tb:

The Blonde School Girl

A girl came skipping home FROM school one day. “Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!”

“Very good,” said her mother.

“Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy?”

“Yes, Honey, it’s because you’re blonde.”

The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. “Mommy, Mommy,” She yelled, “we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A,b, c, d, e, f, g!”

“Very good,” said her mother.

“Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy?”

“Yes, Honey, it’s because you’re blonde.”

The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. “Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!” And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.

“Very good,” said her embarrassed mother.

“Is it because I’m blonde, mommy?”

“No, Honey, it’s because you’re 25.”

I wish these were brains

A Blonde’s Idea Of Revenge

And now to finish off with funny blonde cartoon.

Blonde Elevator Joke

That’s it guys. I hope you enjoyed this weeks Friday Funnies and here’s hoping for a great weekend. Hang on a sec, here are some great blonde joke books for you.

Some Great Blonde Joke Books

 Blonde Jokes: 500 Blonde Jokes to Make Your Toes Curl!    

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How To Turn Your WordPress Blog Into A Web App

I used to have a plugin that converted this blogs format so that mobile users could see it on their mobile device, whether it was an iPhone or even a mobile device using Android. I uninstalled that plugin because I didn’t like the way it portrayed my blog. As far as I was concerned I much preferred the way it looked on ITouch safari or my HTC mobile’s web browser.

All that withstanding I’m not so narrow minded that I can’t see the positives for displaying my blogs to the millions upon millions of mobile devises out there. I’m merely waiting for the right WordPress plugin to come around. Well, I got an email today from JVZoo that introduced me to what seems to be a revolutionary WordPress plugin.

Turn Your Blog Into An Installable Web App

I have to admit I was pretty surprised to find that someone had actually come up with a

Image via CrunchBase

plugin that  would give visitors to a blog the opportunity to intall the entire blog directly onto their iDevice! Now, that sounded pretty amazing.

The plugin is called the One Click Mobile Web App and clicking on that link, and yes it is an affiliate link, will tell you all about the plugin. As of yet I personally haven’t purchased it yet because I haven’t been able to work out how I can utilize it for this blog. It seems to me that it would lend itself more to those specialised niche blog who have a service to sell. Sites that come to mind include;

  1. Law firms
  2. Take Away Foods
  3. Mechanics
  4. Real Estate
  5. Restaurants
  6. Pubs
  7. Plumbers
  8. Electricians

Pretty well anyone that is offering a service that people are interested in and would therefore love to install an app that would give users easy access to it. Do you offer such a service, or can you think of a way that a normal blogger such as myself would be able to use such a plugin? If so I would love for you to leave a comment. If you’re one of those lucky bloggers who can make use of such a plugin you should get your hands on it now before the price goes up.

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Goodbye Josie, Forever In Our Hearts

Last night the family gathered around Josie to say our goodbyes as she left us behind. She was my beloved sister-in-law, sister of Anna and Sam. Auntie to Frank, Nadia and Ben. Mommy to Amelia and devoted wife to Nicola Zollo. Eldest Daughter to Maria and Giovanni Caruso; She will always be their cherished Guiseppina.

I’m honestly at a loss for what to say. We all loved Josie so much. She was always a guiding force and a shining beacon. Even though we knew she was not well we did not expect to lose her so suddenly.

There are many flowers in the world
But only one named Josephine
To her parents she was Guiseppina
Forever will she be in their hearts.

To Nicola she was Josie,
A part of him she will always be.
To Amelia she was mummy,
A guiding light she will always see.

To the rest of us an angel,
Always there in time of need
A flower, so pristine, so perfect
Too perfect for these earthly fields

So God plucked her from her loved ones,
so suddenly, it left a void,
We now know He had a purpose,
So, in heaven she could bloom.

Josie Zollo: Born 10 September 1956

                    Died 8 August 2012 

To see an updated memorial to Josie please visit A Tribute To Josie Zollo.


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The Secret To Getting Lots Of Traffic

Getting traffic to ones site is something that almost every serious blogger / webmaster dreams of. So much so that most will read everything they come across about building traffic and many will even part with their hard earned cash hoping that it will be money well spent. Somehow I reckon that a lot of them will come away disappointed because they probably didn’t learn anything new.

Well, I’m going to tell you everything that I have learned over the years about getting traffic to my blogs and guess what? I’m not going to charge you a dime. Even though this post would be a great candidate for turning your blog into a cash machine I’m not going to charge you a cent. Now, onto traffic generation.

Traffic Building Tips For Your Blog

  • Buy Traffic: We may as well get this one out of the way first, partly because it’s the most obvious but mostly because most bloggers don’t have the extra cash to blow on an advertising campaign. Then there is the fact that I have no experience in it myself so I’m not about to write a lot of crap that will steer you in the wrong direction because I do know one thing, if you don’t know what you’re doing you’re just going to be throwing your money away.
  • Content: Content comes in two parts, the first is quality and the
    Content comes first and is indeed King! Forget about traffic building until you get your content right.

    second is the quantity or frequency of your posts. You want to make sure that the quality of your content is the best you can produce because this is the best way to gain, retain and grow your readership.

  • Consistency: I mentioned frequency of your posts in the last point and this blog is proof that cutting back on the number of posts you put out will cause a downturn in traffic. I decided to go that way because of the time factor and I knew that if I wanted to retain my professionalism then the quality of my content was more important than the amount I churn out.  What I have done though is retain consistency by having my regular Friday Funnies series and posting at the beginning of every week. Read the rest of this entry
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