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The Secret To Getting Lots Of Traffic

Getting traffic to ones site is something that almost every serious blogger / webmaster dreams of. So much so that most will read everything they come across about building traffic and many will even part with their hard earned cash hoping that it will be money well spent. Somehow I reckon that a lot of them will come away disappointed because they probably didn’t learn anything new.

Well, I’m going to tell you everything that I have learned over the years about getting traffic to my blogs and guess what? I’m not going to charge you a dime. Even though this post would be a great candidate for turning your blog into a cash machine I’m not going to charge you a cent. Now, onto traffic generation.

Traffic Building Tips For Your Blog

  • Buy Traffic: We may as well get this one out of the way first, partly because it’s the most obvious but mostly because most bloggers don’t have the extra cash to blow on an advertising campaign. Then there is the fact that I have no experience in it myself so I’m not about to write a lot of crap that will steer you in the wrong direction because I do know one thing, if you don’t know what you’re doing you’re just going to be throwing your money away.
  • Content: Content comes in two parts, the first is quality and the
    Content comes first and is indeed King! Forget about traffic building until you get your content right.

    second is the quantity or frequency of your posts. You want to make sure that the quality of your content is the best you can produce because this is the best way to gain, retain and grow your readership.

  • Consistency: I mentioned frequency of your posts in the last point and this blog is proof that cutting back on the number of posts you put out will cause a downturn in traffic. I decided to go that way because of the time factor and I knew that if I wanted to retain my professionalism then the quality of my content was more important than the amount I churn out.  What I have done though is retain consistency by having my regular Friday Funnies series and posting at the beginning of every week. Read the rest of this entry
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Man, what a day I’ve had. I didn’t think I would get this post out on time because just about everything’s gone wrong starting with the phone line being down for over 24 hours! Naturally if I don’t have a phone line I don’t have the internet because I’m using DSL and not cable. Then when the Internet finally comes on I have to rush off to work  :wallbash_tb: Once I finally get home I’ve stopped for a cup of coffee and a quick bite to eat. It’s now 11.30pm which means that I have 30 minutes to get the latest Friday Funnies out.

I thought for this weeks joke I would tell you about the time the seven dwarfs went to Rome to visit with the pope.

The Seven Dwarfs Meet With The Pope

Seven dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.

Grumpy leads the pack. “Grumpy, my son,” says the Pope, “What can I do for you?”

Grumpy asks, “Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?”

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, “No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome.”

In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.

Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.

Grumpy turns back, “Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?”

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, “No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe.

“This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Read the rest of this entry

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Why Todays Vampires Suck

After watching many of the movies that are currently out about vampires, one has to wonder whether or not these movies have been put out by an underground society of vampires? Vampires who are waiting in the sidelines for people to become more accepting of them. I can just see them all pouring over the ratings, noticing how many of the viewers are becoming enthralled with the idea of vampires and how some are even falling in love with them. This conspiring mob of blood suckers are probably just waiting for the time when they can intermingle freely amongst us, and when that happens, well, that’s when the real blood sucking comes into play.  :tongue_laugh_ee:

I don’t know how many of you young ones would remember Bram Stoker’s Dracula and I’m sure if you did you would realize why todays vampires suck. Why, compared to Count Vladimir Dracula of old todays vampires are nothing but a bunch of blood sucking pussies. Shit, the Muppet’s Count Von Count has more balls than they do.

Let’s get some perspective on what a real vampire

is all about shall we?

  • They Don’t Like The Sunlight: Forget what you’ve seen in the The Twilight Saga where they would have you believe they avoid the sunlight because it makes their skin glitter like gold! Come on people, the reason they avoid it is because it hurts like hell and prolonged exposure causes them to burst into flames and leaves nothing but a pile of dust.
  • Vampires Fall In Love: Really? Vampires are soulless creatures whose sole reason for living is to latch on a person’s jugular and bleed them dry. The only reason they have humans, vampire familiars, around them is so they can use them to help lure victims to their lair.
  •  Vampire’s Have Sex?: I’m sure they do, heck the lure for sex is so strong perhaps being dead isn’t enough to kill it. Then again, they are dead aren’t they, and even some of the current movies admit to their skin being cold and all and if that is the case how many women would really want to accept a cold icicle  between their legs. :no_way: Not willingly anyway, and maybe what is really happening is that these guys are victims being compelled by the vampires?
  • Vampires live in houses:Yep, and they drink alcohol, get drunk, read books and write poems. What a load of BS. The vampires I’m familiar with live in old castles

    Bram Stoker (1847-1912)

    Bram Stoker (1847-1912)

    and instead of sleeping in a bed spend the night in their coffin which comes complete with dirt from their original grave. But then again, todays vampire want to fit in with the rest of humanity and what better way than to go to high school, frequent bars, dance halls and the like. Heck, some even have family outings with the occasional game of baseball.  :laugh_tb:

Out of all the vampire movies and series that’s out today I like those that hold a little as to what makes for a real vampire. The Vampire Diaries: The Complete First Season, except for Stefan who has way too many feelings for a true vampire. At least they can’t walk in the daylight unless they wear an enchanted ring :wink_ee:

I don’t really mind the The Twilight Saga as it does make for good viewing but it’s pretty far fetched, especially the speckled skin crap, not to mention playing baseball during thunderstorms to hide the noise of the bat hitting the ball. :tongue2_tb:

Then there is True Blood which portrays the co-existence of vampires and humans. Could be that’s something that a vampire cult would really love to come to fruition doesn’t it?

So tell me, what do you think of today’s vampires? Perhaps you would like to include some of the things of todays vampires that peeves you off in some way?

Note: All links leading to Amazon products were inserted with complete ease using WP Zon Builder.

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Have you ever thought how much one day is pretty much like another? You get up, go to work, go home watch a bit of TV then you go to sleep and when you wake up it starts all over again. You know the old saying, ‘same shit, different day’? Well that’s why I love Fridays, because on Friday I get to give you something different. Yep, you can rest assured that on each and every Friday you get can drop into my latest Friday Funnies post and be presented with a new and funny situation, whether it’s a video, joke or a funny image. Heck,sometimes you may get all three! You just never know with Friday Funnies Day!  :wink_ee:

Today I’m going to introduce you to little Ralphy. To tell you the honest truth I reckon he’s really little Johnny in disguise.  :giggle:

LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH

A teacher asks her class, ‘If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?’ She calls on little Ralphy.

He replies, ‘None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.’

The teacher replies, ‘The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking..’

Then little RALPHY says, ‘I have a question for YOU.

There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:

One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.

The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?’

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, ‘Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.’

To which Little RALPHY replied, ‘The correct answer is ‘the one with the wedding ring on,’ but I like your thinking.’ Read the rest of this entry

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About Peter Pelliccia"