Today’s Friday Funnies, Friday Funnies #329 is all about nursing home jokes. My Friday Funnies has a lot of senior jokes because they’re so popular and I’m sure you’ll agree that today’s nursing home jokes are no exception.

Nursing Home Jokes For Seniors

On her first day at the Senior Complex, the new manager addressed all the seniors pointing out some of her rules: “The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males and the male dormitory to the females.”

“Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.”

She continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?”

At this point, an older gentleman stood up in the crowd inquired: “How much for a Season Pass?”

nursing home jokes

How about this one for a great addition to my nursing home jokes.

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seems ok, but after a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while, she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. “So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?” they ask.

“It’s pretty nice,” she replies. “Except they won’t let you fart.”

I found that nursing home joke here. As you know, you can get heaps more laughs by browsing the rest of my Friday Funnies. You could even check out my funny Laughaholics videos. Speaking of which, I think you’ll love my latest YouTube video.


That video has two really funny jokes. One about the funniest lie detector robot and the other about a gay ranch hand that gets into trouble with his sexy boss.

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