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Today’s Friday Funnies is all about the marine mommy. You’re probably thinking, how can anything about a marine mommy be funny. Well you see, it involves a story told by a fifth grader and we all remember how funny young kids can be. If not read my post on seven year old kids.

The Bad Ass marine Mommy

bad ass marine mommyThe teacher gave her fifth grade class the following assignment: To get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

When the kids cam back the next day they each took turns to tell their stories..

There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left.

“Janie, do you have a story to share?”

‘Yes ma’am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets. She then killed four more with the knife until the blade broke.  She had to kill the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”

”Good Heavens, ‘said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story’?”

“Don’t F*** with Mommy when she’s been drinking.”

 

Yep, you sure as hell don’t want to mess with that marine mommy. :wink_ee:

Have you ever asked yourself, “How deep is a vagina?” Well, I may just have found the answer for you. :tongue_laugh_ee:

how deep is a vagina

And so ends another Friday Funnies. Sure hope you got a kick out of it. If you did then why not share it with all your friends by clicking one of the social icons below.

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