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If Women Controlled The Earth

I remember a time many years ago when my newly wedded wife was filling the spa for the first time. I was in another part of the house when I heard her screaming hysterically. I rushed to the bathroom to confront the following scene. My beautifully naked wife, standing in the middle of the bathroom with jets of water squirting all over the place. I couldn’t help myself as I walked past her and turned, laughing the whole time, the spa off.

I’ve heard of other stories where women who were confronted with scary situations just didn’t know how to react, there was even one where this young girl in a car with her instructor let go of the steering wheel and covered her face with her hands.

Let’s not get the wrong idea here folks. Not all women react in this fashion. There were many influential women throughout the ages,  women who had just as much balls as any man. These women included, Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, Mbande Nzinga the Angolan Queen, Indira Gandhi and even Margaret Thatcher.

Yes, all these women were great in their time, but you just have to wonder what it would be like today if If Women Controlled The Earth, women who did not have to worry about how men perceived them, women who did what had to be done because it was the best thing for the planet! Well, they say that a picture paints a thousand words and so I would like to present several photos for your education entertainment. :devil_tb:

pink bowling alley
Please don't scratch the floors

And can you imagine what would happen if they got control of design in the IT Industry?

Oh, what a functional mouse

Now, we all know what would happen in the bathroom don’t we?

Make surre your aim is right fellas
Shit, we have to aim for the hole now

And last but not least, the car park!

Just follow the flashing lights

Honestly folks, whilst I made up the post these images are not of my doing. I actually got them in an email and after grinning from ear to ear I was going to delete the email when suddenly it came to me that it would make for a brilliant post. So if anyone owns these images please drop me a note and I will gladly link to your site that you get due credit.

As to my many loyal readers of the female persuasion, I hope that after reading this you cut old Sire some slack in the knowledge that I loves ya all and have the utmost respect for your abilities in whatever field your pursue.

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Peter Pelliccia

I'm an Aussie blogger who loves to blog and share everything that I've learned on my blogging journey, including blogging tips and ways to blog for money. I am also trying to make my way on YouTube. You can follow my progress by subscribing to My Bonzer Channel.

This Post Has 85 Comments

  1. Ha,ha,ha…women. What are they good for?
    Ummm…I take that back..

    Actually women do rule the world. But they are sneaky so we men just don’t realize it..

    1. Well Glen, there certainly are a hell of a lot of smart women who know how to control their men, and then there are some that don’t. Either way I love them all.

  2. Haha, I guess I can let you off :P

    Think we all know women that’d find very useful.
    .-= Heather´s last blog ..Review: 3D World Magazine =-.

    1. Of course Heather, that’s because they were probably all designed by women, especially considering men still don’t realize what women want.

      1. This is probably true. Hmm… we should add to the list (I can photoshop :P)
        .-= Heather´s last blog ..Review: 3D World Magazine =-.

        1. Well Heather, seeing as how you Photoshop and all, send me a photo or two and I can add to the post with the photos linking to your site.

          1. Okie doke, I’ll do that tomorrow then (its actually sort of late here, not sure why I’m still up..)

            Any requests or will I just be creative?

            1. You be creative Heather, I’m sure you’ll come up with something out of the ordinary. No rush.

  3. If we didn’t care what people thought of us now why would we be wearing eyeshadow?!?

    That said, I do like the photo with the toilet seat chained down. Nothing like being pregnant and stumbling into the bathroom in the dark at 3:32 AM only to splash your massive whale of a pregnant body down hard into the cold, hard toilet!
    .-= Heather Kephart´s last blog ..Let’s get it back! =-.

    1. Don’t worry about eyeshadow woman, men don’t care about eyeshadow, just wear something revealing, but not too much because you need to leave something to the imagination. :smirk2_ee:

      1. PIG! :-O
        .-= Heather Kephart´s last blog ..Considering a Weekly Link Love Feature =-.

        1. Oh, but I’m such a lovely cuddly pig :innocent1_tb:

  4. I love that despite the content of this alarming post, the majority of the lovely people commenting are female. Just goes to show what a gracious lot we are ;) As for women ruling the world, don’t tell everyone. We like you to think you’re in charge so we can give you just enough rope to hang yourselves before running to us to kiss you better :D

    On a practical note, this post just goes to show your inventiveness. I would never have thought to turn this into a blog post. Good job ;)
    .-= Eleanor Edwards´s last blog ..1 Minute Motivator: Shake Your Bootie =-.

    1. Eleanor, I knew you gals had a sense of humor otherwise I wouldn’t have posted this. Still. I must admit I was a little worried when I hit the submit button, and I’m glad it turned out so well. :drunk_tb:

  5. lol, I guess I should have some more faith in you Sire. My first instinct when I saw this post’s title was that it was going to be some preachy article about how if women ran the world, there’s be no wars, and everybody would come together and sing and dance and roast marshmallows or something.

    Then I forgot about your Aussie sense of humor. I also like how you made the jokes, but also a disclaimer about how there have been strong women in history.

    Very entertaining!
    .-= Trey – Swollen Thumb Entertainment´s last blog ..Top 10 Twitter Links of The Week #2 =-.

    1. Hey Trey, you been pissing people off again mate? I had to pull this out of the spam trash can.

      You should know me by now Trey, there’s usually a twist to some of my post, and I couldn’t help but come up with this baby after seeing those photos.

  6. Great post Sire. My wife would love the makeup mouse and is definitely in need of the parking spot landing lights :)
    .-= Doug Dillard´s last blog is For Sale! =-.

    1. Hey Doug, long time no see. Does that mean you’re back from your break? Seems you have something for sale, I wonder what that is all about.

      1. Working on other projects and just don’t have the time to devote to just the topic of “Making Money Online” and I could use the cash (if I get enough for it). I am hard at work on other things and you will be seeing me around more very soon!

        Happy New Year… by the way.
        .-= Doug Dillard´s last blog is For Sale! =-.

        1. I understand your predicament Doug and hope it all works out for you. I’m really interested in how you sell it. Sedo hasn’t done a thing for me so far.

          1. This is one of the bigger domain auctions of the year… and it is held next week. I have about 9 domains listed for next to nothing opening bids and no reserve… so we will see how they go.

            They are starting quite a bit higher, so I will be interested to see how much interest it gets.

            I have been using Flippa the last couple of months and have sold several domains. Most of them I had to pop up a quick blog to go with the name… but they all sold.
            .-= Doug Dillard´s last blog is For Sale! =-.

          2. I have 100 or so domains listed at Sedo that bring in some nice parking income, but most offers I get start at $60 for domains and Sedo charges a $50 fee minimum… so that is not a very good deal :)
            .-= Doug Dillard´s last blog is For Sale! =-.

  7. Awww…that bowling alley is so cute! Funny how you don’t even discuss our ability at designing cars.

    We DO run the world. We just let you guys think you do.

    1. What they don’t tell you Kathleen is that it’s only for show, heaven forbid if anyone tried to use it :lol_tb:

  8. Who said they are not controlling the earth?! they are controlling everything these days my friend!

    Sometimes I think men are stupid when they think they control anything!
    .-= Hesham @ FamousBloggers´s last blog Domain and Blog is For Sale Seriously =-.

    1. We’re not stupid Hesham, we just haven’t worked out how to get women to do what we want, and that’s not unusual considering we’re from Mars and they’re from Venus

      1. Maybe you are right, we haven’t worked out this because we are busy working day & night! I heard from my wife today that Obama is giving more rights to women, like taking all what belong to the man after divorce with 2 years only, before it was 10 years! I am not sure if this is crap or what! but it’s kind of sad!

        Here in the States they make it like this, if you are not a woman then you have to shut up!
        .-= Hesham @ FamousBloggers´s last blog ..Who would recommend ShoeMoney System for me =-.

        1. If it’s true that is so wrong. The way I see it the only fair way is that they both get what they came into the marriage with, and then they split everything else down the middle. That is of course unless someone cheated on the relationship, then the person who cheated should only get what they started off at the beginning.

  9. The toilet seat pic reminded me of a story hubby’s uncle told me about the time his aunt fell in the toilet and let out a huge scream.

    Bet the chains could have come in handy then. lol
    .-= Rose´s last blog ..Alexa Ranking Explained =-.

    1. Actually that reminds me of a joke someone played on his staff. He put gladwrap over the toilet seat and one of his female staff got the shock of her life when she was busting o go.

  10. I had a friend once whose son [maybe 3 or 4 at the time] got a fishing hook caught near his eye. Her husband couldn’t handle it and she had to remove the hook. Not sure how I would have handled that one. Yet, I have seen blood gush from the face of all of my children and I never panicked. Of course my laptop gets screwy and I almost burst into tears. Go figure! :blink_tb:

    My kids’ father was trained [by his mother] to put the seat down. Now, my current husband tends to forget, but not often. His excuse is he’s lived alone for too long. We’ve lived together for 9 years! :guns_tb:

    I’m not easily offended. I grew up before everything became so PC. It’s a mailman, damnit! I feel better now. :jittery_tb:
    .-= Anne´s last blog ..Oh, No You Di’nt! – UPDATE =-.

    1. Talking of fishing stories, I remember once when my dad hooked mum and after he took the hook out he got my brother to piss on her leg because he said it would disinfect it. :bigsurprise_ee:

      1. I am speechless. :blink_tb:

  11. “I want a bowling alley like that,” he screeched.

    “Don’t worry darling, I’ll buy it for you someday” she consoled.

    I understand Sire, these things must be brought to light every once in a while. It’s the way of the world…
    .-= Louise´s last blog ..It’s National Pie Day! My First Lemon Meringue Pie =-.

    1. yeah, someone has to do Louise and it may as well be me :innocent1_tb:

  12. I am glad that women readers see this purely as joke. And yeah — it is great joke indeed.

    Btw, they do not email you, right sire? :lol:
    .-= Dana @ Blogging Update´s last blog ..My English is Poor Enough, Therefore I Blog =-.

    1. I I get a lot of emails from women, especially from Russia, that want me to look at their photos. I don’t bother with them as I have more than I can handle with the wife.

  13. Women! I’m going to change your minds about men leaving the toilet seat up.

    If the toilet seat is left up, then it means the guy didn’t pee on the seat. If he left the seat down and misfired then the urine would have to be wiped off the seat or even be left there to dry. Leaving the seat up means that men care for you and respect you. It’s our way of proving that we love you. Think about it.:)

    P.S. In China, they actually have started building car park floors just for women which are well lit and have wider parking spaces. It’s true.
    .-= Gordie´s last blog ..Six Things You Should Do Daily To Succeed. =-.

    1. I like your way of thinking Gordie, but unless you take the time to put the seat down you’re only showing them a portion of the love you’re willing to give them.

      Me, I would put thats seat down every time if it would guarantee me some extra sexual encounters. Heck, I would even clean the whole damn room for some extra sexual activity :devil_tb: :laugh_tb:

      1. I’ve come up with a brilliant idea for us guys.

        Always carry around post it notes with “This toilet seat was not peed on and was put down again for your pleasure.” When we’ve finished, we leave the post it not stuck to the seat. What do you reckon?

        1. Gordie, please do the honor of trying it first. If it works nice, please let us know. Then we’ll test about colors and fonts.
          .-= James Moralde´s last blog ..Google Search Engine Ranking Pattern =-.

        2. Now that is what I call a plan :lol_tb:

    1. Yep and I can see a lot of men having to wipe it down after every visit. I can also see some that won’t :devil_tb:

  14. Very funny post sire. The first two pics were really laughing but the last one didn’t made me laugh..Didn’t understood it’s concept..

    But rest are great. I hope any women’s association don’t take this seriously :o
    .-= Typhoon´s last blog ..Faster Web Sites For Happier Visitors And Better Conversion Rates =-.

    1. Do you meant the car park photo? It’s just having a go at the way women drive.

  15. I’m surprised none of your female readers are offended lol. Good job :)

    -Kai Lo
    Twitter @lomak1985

    1. Goes to show how smart they really are, they know tongue in cheek humor when they see it.

  16. Twitter:
    Goodness, I was expecting trouble, and you got off! I hope I get away with an article I have planned for this week; that is, if I still have the guts to write it. lol
    .-= Mitch´s last blog ..Avatar – My Review =-.

    1. Each time I post something of this nature Mitch, it’s always with a bit of trepidation.

  17. Seriously, I need THAT mouse and make it wireless!
    .-= Kissie´s last blog ..Know Us by Love =-.

    1. Seriously Kissie I reckon there would be a real market for that product.

  18. I admire your guts! You have to know that all the world’s problems are caused by men.
    .-= Ralph´s last blog ..Sunday Funnies – Human Tetris =-.

    1. That’s a pretty broad statement and I doubtful as to it’s accuracy. When you consider that behind every man is a woman it may be all the woman’s fault :tongue_wink_ee:

  19. The photos are hilarious. The parking spot one got me. One thing is if women ran the world we likely would have a breakout of peace
    .-= Dan´s last blog ..Phanton Link Cloaker 2.0 Review and Bonus =-.

    1. Again I’m not sure that is entirely true. There have been some pretty violent women over the years. Imagine if the one in power was a woman scorned :furious_tb: :guns_tb:

  20. Chains? How…unattractive. Also, it’s utterly lacking in creativity and aesthetic appeal. No, we’d make sure you guys had something like these to pee in. Then we would have no need of such petty arguments about leaving the seat up.

    The mouse does have a certain functional appeal, but would only work well with an infrared mouse, as any woman who’s ever had to clean her balls could explain. (What? You just pop off the cover, roll it around in the palm of your hand, and pick off the lint. Why are you looking at me like that? Sharp tweezers and a bit of rubbing alcohol help to get the stray bits off, too.)

    As for that “breakout of peace” comment, Sire – yes, we women ARE capable of violence. But we don’t like to “play war” like the men do. We’d go in, kick a**, wipe noses, fix dinner, and invite anyone who could clean up and play nice to come to the table. One raised eyebrow, after that, ought to put an end to the shenanigans.
    .-= Holly Jahangiri´s last blog ..Experiment & Results: Improving Alexa Rank =-.

    1. Hey Holly, I got rid of mouse balls ages ago, I got tired of playing with them trying to get them to work properly. As to those urinary contraptions, they were so ugly, no man would use it. If a bloke designed them they would be much more appealing. :devil_tb:

      If I’m ever fortunate to be at your dinner table I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for those raised eyebrows.

  21. If anyone takes offense they have no sense of humor or take themselves WAAAY too seriously.

    Since the toilet seems to be the main issue here, my personal solution was…

    Husband gets the master bath (It’s the only bathroom he gets to use) I don’t clean it or go into it and I get the other 1 1/2 bathrooms.

    No falling in and no sitting on a wet seat. It works for me.
    .-= Dwippy´s last blog ..Comment Surfing =-.

    1. Sounds like a good plan Dwippy. I reckon I would go into yours every now and again to lift the seat just to get a reaction. :devil_tb:

  22. Just in case my wife is reading this…I think it would be great if women ruled the earth :-)

    1. Yeah Matt, as if that would get you any special privileges. :nono_tb: :laugh_tb:

  23. Damit Sire my wife got a look at this post you put up and now all the toilet seats in my house are chained to the floor. What am I gonna do now?

    Wait I got an idea. Wheres my blow torch…….
    .-= Jim Hardin´s last blog ..Toasty S’more Post =-.

    1. Easy Jim, start pissing on the seat and see what happens. :devil_tb:

      Once she gets sick of cleaning them she will either take of the chains or get a new husband. :tongue_wink_ee:

      1. She just told me if I piss on the seat again I can start using the litter box. Dam it now I got kitty litter all over myself. Wait it smells pretty good and I kinda like the clumping feature. Move over kitty
        .-= Jim Hardin´s last blog ..Toasty S’more Post =-.

        1. Here’s an idea, paste some of that litter stuff to the seat and that way if you miss none will drip on the floor. It will also give a nice textured feeling when sitting down. :lol_tb:

  24. “Women who had just as much balls as any man”

    Quite the eloquent statement!
    .-= Ryan @ Planting Dollars´s last blog ..Starting an Online Business – The Waikiki Site =-.

    1. Hey Ryan, what did you expect from a rugged Aussie male. :wink_ee:
      .-= Sire´s last blog ..Where The Bloody Hell Are You……. =-.

  25. Sire,
    Are you spending your nights in the doghouse or does your wife have a good sense of humor like mine does?
    A friend sent me a video of female driving antics a while back. If I can find it I’ll be sure to send it to you.
    .-= Aaron´s last blog ..Mastering the Shift =-.

    1. You know, after 23 odd years of marriage she still isn’t used to my sense of humor :annoyed_tb: That’s cool though because I love it when I can throw out a line and hook her and the reel her in. :laugh_tb:

      As to the dog house, she doesn’ read my blogs so I am safe. :innocent1_tb:
      .-= Sire´s last blog ..The Hyundai Santa Fe And It’s Progress In The Global Green Challenge =-.

  26. To tell you the truth Sire, I actually loved those pictures LOL. The flowers actually made me want to bowl, the mouse and the toilet are fantastic solutions, now the parking space I’m sure my brother would agree with that one. I do however feel the need to write about men now. LOL
    You like pushing our buttons don’t ya ? ;-)
    All the best,
    .-= Eren Mckay´s last blog ..Fresh pear desserts recipes with chocolate =-.

    1. Yes I do Eren, but I always try to do it in the nicest of ways. :wink_ee: Of course I have been known, in real life, to overstep the mark and then it’s all I can do to make things right with the world.

      So gad you loved the post. :thumbup_tb:

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed it Danny, and yes it is good to see that the women have a sense of humor.

  27. LOL I love the parking space one. And I love the fact that all the female readers here can laugh at the post too. So funny… great post :)
    .-= Josh@Joes Provocateur´s last blog ..Where to find cheap Joe’s Jeans Provocateur =-.

    1. Just goes to show how smart women really are Josh.

  28. LOL…that mouse one is classic. I’m trying to picture an image regarding football similar to the bowling one.
    .-= Andrew@Promotional Sports Bags´s last blog ..Promo Coffee Mugs =-.

    1. Man if they did something like that to a football field we would really be in trouble.

  29. These photos are great… I love the bowling alley, although I know with my bowling skills the flowers would be destroyed!
    .-= Kikolani@Blogging Tips´s last blog ..Fetching Friday – Resources Mashup, Best Week Ever & Timelapse =-.

    1. Hey Kristi, you bowling, now that is something I would love to see :lol_ee:

      Great Fetching Friday post, as usual. I don’t know how you do it.

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