Google The Tyrant A Tale of Old

When you are an Immortal, time is nowhere near as fleeting as when you thought your days were actually finite. I remember how time used to almost stand still when I was a kid and then as I got older time seemed to simply fly right on by. That was before I knew I was immortal, and now I have learned to live with the knowledge that one day will always follow another, forever and ever. There have been many Immortals that couldn’t accept this fact but the few that remain have learned that acceptance and purpose was the key to living with longevity.

I discovered that my purpose was to help people where possible, to make their days a bit less stressful and perhaps to incite a bit of laughter every now and again. Today was the beginning of the harvest in the town of Hahndorf. I had picked a spot on a hill overlooking the workers to entertain my small group of young villagers, those who were either too young or otherwise incapacitated to help. Four young wards and the busty Illianora who came on the pretense of helping me keep them in line but who I knew really wanted something a lot more sensual from the town bard. Who knows, perhaps tonight after the harvest festivities I will accommodate her.

I waited for them to settle down, Alforone, a lively boy of 9 years who was forever getting into trouble, the last escapade the cause of his broken arm. Mystial his 6 year old sister who continually looks at her big brother with big round proud eyes. Gritalom, who broke his leg because the kangaroo he was teasing decided he had enough and a well aimed kick taught him a bit of respect for this domesticated mammal. Finally we have Jandoram, who at 14 should really be down there helping the rest of the villagers, but I pulled a few strings so that I can keep him away from Kilander his abusive stepfather.

OK, I know some of you want to help with the harvest but as fate has it you will have to listen to a story instead. So, what yarn shall I spin for you this fine morning? Alforone was the quickest on the mark as he yells out, Tell as about the days of the Google Monster! I think you mean the Google Tyrant, the greatest of all mages, but yes I must agree Google was a bit of a monster in a lot of peoples eyes.

It all began in a time long ago, a time when wizards abounded, but in those days they were called bloggers, the greatest of all was known as ProBlogger. Their great power revolved around the Word and the magic that they could weave all depended on the prowess of the individual blogger. The greater the blogger the more they were able to magically alter peoples thoughts. Generally for the good but there were  some who only had evil intentions. The thing is that Google saw the great power that they had and he wanted to be a part of what they could do.

There was only one way that Google could influence these bloggers, and that was through their greed. He offered them great riches every time they were able to influence peoples thoughts with a snippet of diabolical code called a script that they placed within people’s minds. Many succumbed to Google but the dreadful Tyrant was not happy until he could get all the bloggers under his power. Who can tell me the name of the minions that Google used to spy on these wizards?  Mystial with a squeal of glee yells out, The Googlebots.

Yes indeed Mystial, you have done well tonight remembering those tales of old. The Googlebots, an army of mindless beings, an army that Google himself brought to a semblance of life, whose sole purpose was to spy on all the bloggers and to report back to their master everything that they did or said, especially if any blogger spoke to another blogger without casting the nofollow spell. The most important instruction that was woven into the Googlebots was that they had to be on the look out for any blogger who had the audacity to accept paid links, for Google felt that they were encroaching on his domain, for only Google was able to accept money for links. Any blogger found guilty of this offense received the mighty Google Slap, a slap of such ferocity that it sent out vibrations felt by every blogger around the globe.

It was right then that I was forced to pause as Illianora bent over intentionally reavealing her ample cleavage, and it still amazes me that even after 600 odd years, something so simple could still raise those sexual desires within me. Gritalom used the pause to say, What of your great ancestor, was he afraid of the Google Slap? His question jolted me back to reality and I replied. Of course not, Sire Of Wassup wasn’t afraid of anything, let alone something so insignifacant as the Google Slap. His knowledge of lore was so great that he was able to make use of the powerful robots.txt, a magical potion that kept his great knowledge hidden from the  GoogleBots. However, there was a time before he was able to decipher the incantation of the robots.txt when Googles minions told their master of two of his lesser blogs, and Google in his wrath slapped his PR clean off, but Sire Of Wassup Only Laughed! Fortunately, by that time he had incorparated the robots.txt and Google was oblivious to his mirth.

For many years Google grew in power, and the stronger he got the greater his tyranny spread. So great and powerful was Google that he did not notice when other mages appeared, Yahoo and MSN were the first to try an ursurp his power. Google merley laughed and absorbed the weaker getting ever stronger, but there came a time when even the Tyrant succumbed to those he despised for their weakness.

There is a lesson here that you must all learn! Remember that power can corrupt even the best of us, with power comes great responsibility and it is better to treat those under you with respect and by showing them that you value them they will pledge you their undying loyalty.

Other posts in the


Previous Post

Duplicate Content And Article Theft

I read a post today on duplicate content and Google's possible reaction to it and ... Read more

Next Post

The Advantages Of Hosting Your Own Blog

I have always been an advocate of hosting your own blog or website and there ... Read more

Please follow and like:

Peter Pelliccia

I'm an Aussie blogger who loves to blog and share everything that I've learned on my blogging journey, including blogging tips and ways to blog for money. I am also trying to make my way on YouTube. You can follow my progress by subscribing to My Bonzer Channel.

This Post Has 30 Comments

  1. Loved the story man!!! though the underlying issue of the immense influence of google is…well disturbing, and well…i’ll let speculate till monday where I will dwell more on this point in non-story format!

    Donace´s Last blog post..Free SEO Tools

  2. Hey Donace, I am really glad you liked it. I am having a lot of fun with this series, and I feel that is what writing is all about, and if some of my readers enjoy what I come up with as well, then I am one happy blogger. :clap_tb:

  3. Nope, all plugins up to date. I just left a couple of posts on Yan’s blog and each time it only picked up my older posts, when I really wanted it to pick up this one.

    As for the sex, what can I say, I have a one track mind and it generally revolves around sex. Fortunately I manage to keep it in check and don’t let it get carried away on this blog. I’m glad you enjoyed the post.

  4. Don’t get me wrong Gennaro, I don’t hate Google at all, I just like have a dig at the big boys every now and again. It’s fun and I figure they should be able to handle it. Anyway, anytime I take a swipe at the ‘big boys’ I like to make sure that there is a bit of truth mixed in with the rest of the hype, just to make the post a little more credible. By truth, I mean my personal opinion on any particular topic, which someone else may find to be complete BS, but hey, that’s cool, it’s a free world after all and everyone is entitled to their opinion.

    1. Sire, I thought it was funny and necessary rant. I’d like to see more competition is all the areas that Google is dominating. I’m glad Chrome has done anything.

      Gennaro´s Last blog post..Planning A Perfect Romantic Getaway

      1. Funny rants are my specialty. There was a link in there, third one I think, of something I put together after my first ever GoogleSlap!

  5. Sounds like you may have done a post on this matter Peter, if so please feel free to share the link.

  6. Twitter:
    You’re killing me, Sire! Sex and Google in the same story; I don’t think I’d have ever thought of that. :happy_tb:

    Meanwhile, I’m trying to figure out why, on this blog, only old posts of mine are coming up on CommentLuv, and it’s not happening elsewhere. Did you forget to update the plugin?

    Mitch´s Last blog post..The Psychology Of Gambling

  7. Power corrupts. Absolute power, corrupts absolutely. ~Lord Acton

    I give credit to Google for continuing to innovate and invest in the right areas. They are still offering services that are in fact the best in the field. Unfortunately, it is coming to a point where they are so saturated in the market that a revolt will eventually come. Microsoft is the best comparision that I see. Google, at some point, will have a flop and all the techies who were dealt a blow with fire back with their blogs and use whatever new big wig comes about. I’m not at the hating Google point as I’m finding their services essential, but it’s a bit much. Everyone convert their feedburner to Google? ;)

    Gennaro´s Last blog post..Hawaii Hotels Empty: Deals?

  8. McGoogle will get his beans one day; he trod on Hutts toes and Hutts has a long memory!

    1. I usually come up with it when doing something that doesn’t strain the brain all that much, like when I dropping a load or having a shower or something.

  9. An Interesting story, only you can have the gift to make anything interesting :-) Power do corrupt people…

    You do make me think, and thank you for that.
    Giovanna Garcia
    Imperfect Action is better than No Action

    Giovanna Garcia´s Last blog post..I am worth it!

    1. Thanks so much for dropping in Giovanna, your presence surely does brighten up my blog, as does your comment, which certainly was a compliment that I appreciate.

  10. You certainly have a way with words, the story is very entertaining. No power lasts forever though and one day a challenger will come along with enough backing to overthrow the tyrant. The question is will they be the peoples champion and bring peace to the Kingdom or a more power hungry Ruler.

  11. Kahled, only time will tell my friend. Sort of sounds like history in the making doesn’t it? Thanks for your comment.

  12. Awesome story. I love fables, especially ones that involve huge corrupt armies named googlebots. nice post.

    1. Hi Matt, I’m glad you liked it. I’ve decided to occasionally try a little bit of story telling to get a point across, look for hidden meanings lol, or just to have a little fun.

  13. I reckon they probably have to worry about both as they’re pretty well entwined. The advertisers pay the money and the search users provide the customer base for the advertisers.

  14. How about raunchy blogging Fairy Tales for the adults Sheryl, I reckon that would be more down my alley? By your comment I reckon that you seem to have a bit of gift for tales yourself.

    Smoking, nope, stopped smoking when I was 10 and I say a dog pissing on what I used to use as my ‘tobacco’.

    Thanks for your interesting comment.

  15. Oh Mighty Sire,
    So glad you will be around to protect all the commoners from the evil Googlebots!

    Maybe you could make millions writing Blogging Fairy tales for the education of kids while still entertaining them. Um, I do get 33% of your income from this idea since, I am the one that brought it up- right?

    What ever you are smoking – I want some.

    I do not think we will see the fall of the Big Goog for a long time. They have made their name know to everyone including little old ladies that do not even own a computer. Those old gals would search on Goog if they ever choose to shop on line simply because they know no other SE name.

    I do see more people that are understanding that Googles PR is a smaller portion of getting good SERP’s than it was thought.

    Keep up the good work as you slay the evil dragon known as Google!

    Sheryl Loch´s Last blog post..American Idiol 2009

  16. Hey,the story is very entertaining…am new to dis blog n liked ur blog… Looking forward 2 read sme gr8 n interesting posts… ;)

  17. The story was meant to be entertaining and so I am glad that you liked it. It is a pleasure to have you visit and I hope you come back again.

  18. Hi!
    Google still have some services that are top. Unfortunately, it is coming to a point where they are so saturated in the market that a revolt will eventually come. Google, at some point, will have a flop and all the techies who were dealt a blow with fire back with their blogs and use whatever new big wig comes about. I’m not at the hating Google point as I’m finding their services essential, but it’s a bit much. Google should just be under the UN´s authorities
    Everyone convert their feedburner to Google? ;)

  19. Hi Olivia, I’ve converted my Feedburner to Google a fair while ago, and I would like to point out that I personally don’t ‘hate’ Google, it’s just that they give me enough ammunition to have a go at them every now and again.

  20. I don

Comments are closed.