Funny Stories For Friday Funnies #204

Friday Funnies just funny storiesFunny Stories for Friday Funnies. Yep, it’s time for Friday Funnies again and I’m hoping you’re as exited about this weeks Friday Funnies as Jumping Jack over there on the left.  :tongue_laugh_ee:

I thought that for today’s Friday Funnies I’ll just shower you with a few Funny Stories.

Just Funny Stories

The first of my funny stories is about this woman that lives in Queensland.

The woman who was applying for a job in a lemon orchard in Country Queensland, seemed to be far too qualified for the job; given her arts and education degrees from Melbourne University and her job as a social worker and a teacher at the local TAFE college.

The foreman frowned and said, “I have to ask you this: “Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”

“Well, as a matter of fact, I have!” “I’ve been divorced three times, owned a Ford station wagon and a Leyland P76. I also supported  the Collingwood football club for the last 4 years, voted for Julia Gillard and bought shares in Dick Smith.” I think I’m more than qualified for picking lemons.

Yep, I think with stats like that the woman knows exactly what she’s talking about.  :cool:

The next story is about a fighter pilot who has a really positive attitude.

After his plane was hit and he was forced to eject, the fighter pilot finally regained consciousness.
He was in a hospital, in agonizing pain. He found himself in the ICU with tubes in his mouth, needles and IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function and an absolutely stunning, gorgeous and incredibly sexy nurse hovering over him. He realized that he was obviously in a life-threatening situation.

The nurse gave him a serious, deep look, straight into his eyes. Knowing he was a fighter pilot, she spoke to him softly, slowly and clearly, enunciating each word and syllable, “You may not feel anything from the waist down.”

Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, “Can I feel your tits, then?”

And that, my friend, is a REALLY POSITIVE ATTITUDE!  :clap:

I found the image below amusing as well as bloody ingenious! Imagine the guest coming to your Bar-B- Q and seeing you cook some chops on you latest invention.  :crazy_man:

Funny stories

Looking for more jokes? Why not check out some of the previous Friday Funnies or head on over and check out some of my funny sports Jokes.

 

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Peter Pelliccia

I'm an Aussie blogger who loves to blog and share everything that I've learned on my blogging journey, including blogging tips and ways to blog for money. I am also trying to make my way on YouTube. You can follow my progress by subscribing to My Bonzer Channel.

This Post Has 5 Comments

  1. hahahaha the things people do for beautiful women. Fair play to the guy for being such a sport despite being in a life-threatening situation. This Friday funny cracked me up – nice one Peter!
    Ahmad Ben recently posted…What Is Affiliate Marketing?My Profile


    1. Twitter:
      Just goes to show that no matter how bad things get men sometimes still have a tendency to have a one track mind :devil_tb:


  2. Twitter:
    The lady from Queensland has a different understanding of lemon. And based on what she said, she dealt with a lot of lemons already.

    Nice pickup line by the pilot. :-) I suppose he wanted to be like Stephen Hawking, it’s automatic. hahahahaha.
    Marlon Lozada recently posted…Expert Tips And Advice In Social Media MarketingMy Profile


  3. Twitter:
    Wait I’m offended! How dare they call my old Ford station wagon a lemon. Just kidding, just kidding. I’m loving that toilet bowl BBQ! Definitely sharing…

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