Today’s Friday Funnies is all about this funny insemination joke that I got in my email today. I’m sure there are a lot of versions of this funny insemination joke around the web, but this one revolves around a blonde Irish girl.
Maggie, a blonde Irish girl, marries a New Zealand sheep farmer. One morning, on his way out to check on the stock, farmer John says to Maggie, ‘The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our ewes today. I drove a nail into the rail above her stall in the barn. You show him where the sheep is when he gets here, OK?’
So then the farmer leaves for the fields.
After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Maggie takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of ewes and when she sees the nail, she tells him, ‘This is the one…right here.’
Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just might be another ditzy blonde, the man asks, ‘Tell me lady, how did you know this is the one to be bred?’
That’s simple, by the nail over its stall’, Maggie explains very confidently.
Then the man asks, ‘What’s the nail for?’
She turns and walks away, and with complete confidence, says, ‘I guess it’s to hang your trousers on.’
Talking about a funny insemination joke, I just so happens one of my mates sent me this one.
Funny Insemination Joke #2
A farmer buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool, chops and stuff. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant. Concerned he phones a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn’t have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down in the grass and roll around when they are pregnant.
The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means that he has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all (must be a Kiwi ), brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try did not take and loads them into the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are laying in the grass. “No”, she says, “they’re all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn.”
If you didn’t laugh at that one you’ve got a dreary 2017 ahead of you
If you did like it don’t forget to share it with your friends.
Filed under: Friday Funnies
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