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Funny Church Bulletins Friday Funnies #311

funny church bulletins

Funny Church Bulletins? I did a post awhile back about proofreading, and how important it was. As it turns out it happened to be a Friday Funnies post. Today’s Friday Funnies post about Funny Church Bulletins wouldn’t have eventuated if those lovely church ladies took the time to proofread their bulletins.

Funny Church Bulletins To Make You Laugh

funny church bulletins2These funny church bulletins are too good not to share.

They’re Back! Those wonderful, funny Church Bulletins! Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters.
These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services: —-
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Wate. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want to be remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church
basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use the large double door at the side entrance.

And this one just about sums them all up;

The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: ‘I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.’

That wraps up this week’s Friday Funnies, but if you’re looking for more laughs you should check out my funniest adults only jokes video!

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Peter Pelliccia

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This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Twitter:
    “Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
    Please use the large double door at the side entrance.”

    Hah, as a fat person myself i can’t help but laugh. I’m imaging of the time while entering this new york store, going through roll-away doors and remember getting stuck. LOL. At any event love your blog.

    Regards from Tryp NewYork Hotel,
    Kumar Nandham

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