Yep, today’s Friday Funnies is a hilarious sex joke. This sex joke revolves around a married couple’s use of Vaseline.
Vaseline Sex Joke
A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. He says, ‘I’m doing some research for Vaseline, Do you have a moment to answer a few questions?”
The woman agreed, and he continued. “Have you ever used the product?”
She says, “Yes, My husband and I use it all the time.”
“And if you don’t mind me asking, what do you use it for?”
“We use it for sex.”
The researcher was a little taken back, “Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child’s bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge, when, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty, and since you’ve been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?”
The woman says, “I don’t mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on the door knobs, and it keeps the kids out.”
And you thought it was going to be a dirty joke. Shame on you.
Next, we have a man trying to explain why he got divorced.
Divorcee’s Sex Joke
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot, and so did my kids. I went to work, and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday.
As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy birthday, boss,” which made me feel so special. She then asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, “Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?”
“Okay,” I said.
She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, and my colleagues all yelling, “SURPRISE!!!” while I was waiting on the sofa… naked.
And finally, even though it’s not sex-related, I present to you my latest Laughaholics video of funniest Aussie Jokes.
Why not enjoy some of my other Friday Funnies posts.