Click here to go to Win A Day Casino Mobile!

Fridays Funnies #10 Product That Cures Smoking, The Nun And How Life Is Like A Penis

It’s finally here, the day we’ve all been waiting so long for and not just because it’s the day before the weekend either. Yep, today is Friday and we all know what that means don’t we? Yep, it’s Friday Funnies time and have I got some great material for you  :drunk_tb: But before we get to that I want to talk about something that is really quite serious. I’m talking about a filthy habit, one commonly known as smoking.

Unless you’re a smoker most of you would agree that smoking is a pretty bad habit, one with dire consequences. There’s a lot being done in the way of advertising to hopefully quell peoples desire to smoke but unfortunately most of the stuff they’ve come up with just doesn’t work. Until now that is, but even this one is pretty well limited to women only. So, if you have a loved one of the fairer sex who smokes and you want her to quit, the solution is simple. All you have to do is to buy her the cigarettes you see in the image below.

Latest Cigarettes To Help You Quit Smoking

 Cool huh? Heck if I could find an affiliate site for this stuff I would provide you guys with a link to it  :drunk_tb:

OK, now for the joke you’ve all been waiting for.

The Nun At The Airport

A NUN WAS SITTING AT THE AIRPORT, WAITING FOR HER FLIGHT TO MELBOURNE . SHE LOOKED OVER IN THE CORNER AND SAW ONE OF THOSE WEIGHT MACHINES THAT TELLS YOUR FORTUNE AND THOUGHT TO HERSELF, ‘I’LL GIVE IT A TRY AND SEE WHAT IT TELLS ME.’

SHE WENT OVER TO THE MACHINE, STEPPED UP ON THE SCALE AND PUT HER COIN IN, OUT CAME A CARD THAT READ, ‘YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 70KG, AND YOU ARE GOING TO MELBOURNE .’

THE NUN SAT BACK DOWN. SHE TOLD HERSELF THAT THE MACHINE PROBABLY GIVES THE SAME CARD TO EVERYONE. THE MORE SHE THOUGHT ABOUT IT THE MORE CURIOUS SHE GOT SO SHE DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN SHE WENT BACK TO THE MACHINE AND AGAIN PUT HER COIN IN, AND OUT CAME A CARD THAT READ: ‘YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 70KG, YOU ARE GOING TO MELBOURNE AND YOU ARE GOING TO PLAY A VIOLIN.’

THE NUN SAYS TO HERSELF, ‘I KNOW THAT IS WRONG – I HAVE NEVER PLAYED
A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT EVEN ONCE IN MY LIFE.’ SHE SAT BACK DOWN. FROM OUT OF NOWHERE A MAN CAME OVER AND SAT DOWN, PUTTING HIS VIOLIN
CASE ON THE SEAT BETWEEN THEM. WITHOUT THINKING, SHE OPENED THE MAN’S CASE, TOOK OUT THE VIOLIN, AND STARTED PLAYING BEAUTIFUL MUSIC.
SURPRISED AT WHAT SHE HAD DONE, SHE LOOKED OVER AT THE MACHINE, THINKING, ‘THIS IS INCREDIBLE, I’VE GOT TO TRY THIS AGAIN.’

BACK TO THE MACHINE SHE WENT, PUT IN ANOTHER COIN, AND ANOTHER CARD
CAME OUT. IT READ, ‘YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 70KG , YOU ARE GOING TO
MELBOURNE AND YOU ARE GOING TO BREAK WIND.’ NOW SHE KNOWS THE
MACHINE IS WRONG, AS SHE THOUGHT TO HERSELF, ‘I’VE NEVER BROKEN WIND
IN PUBLIC A SINGLE TIME IN MY LIFE.’ BUT GETTING DOWN OFF THE MACHINE
SHE SLIPPED, AND AS SHE WAS STRAINING TO KEEP HERSELF FROM FALLING TO THE FLOOR, SHE BROKE WIND.

ABSOLUTELY STUNNED, SHE SAT BACK DOWN AND LOOKED AT THE MACHINE.
SHE SAID TO HERSELF, ‘THIS IS TRULY REMARKABLE. I’VE GOT TO TRY THIS AGAIN. ‘SHE WENT BACK TO THE MACHINE, PUT IN ANOTHER COIN AND ANOTHER CARD CAME OUT. IT READ: ‘YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 70KG, YOU HAVE FIDDLED AND FARTED AROUND AND MISSED YOUR FLIGHT TO MELBOURNE .’

I bet she’s cursing those dumb scales now huh?  :lol_ee:

And just to finish this weeks Fridays Funnies with a philosophical note I give to you the following quote.

Life is like a penis – simple, relaxed and hanging free . . .

. . It’s women who make it hard !!

And now it’s over to you, if you liked this weeks Friday’s please leave a comment and don’t forget to share it with those you know by Tweeting it of Liking it on FaceBook. Oh, one final thing, if you have what you think is a really good joke please email it to lottoman@buyonlinelottotickets.com with a link to your site/blog and perhaps some personal details. If I use the joke I will link to your site as a way of my appreciation. Hows that for a bit of extra linkluv?  :welcome:

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2012
Previous Post

Why You Should Not Refuse Being Interviewed

During my life as a blogger I've been approached many times to give an interview ... Read more

Next Post

How To Get Your Visitors To Click A Link

We all know that it's hard enough to get people to visit your blog which ... Read more

Please follow and like:
3
2
Follow Me
Tweet
LINKEDIN

Peter Pelliccia

I'm an Aussie blogger who loves to blog and share everything that I've learned on my blogging journey, including blogging tips and ways to blog for money. I am also trying to make my way on YouTube. You can follow my progress by subscribing to My Bonzer Channel.

This Post Has 61 Comments

  1. I’m not sure the sculpted cigarettes could stifle a woman’s urge to smoke. I got a feeling that some might even like it more.

    And yeah, I’d have to agree that most of the time, women make life hard. :)

    1. Hey James, maybe I should have stipulated a married woman :wink_ee:

  2. Haha, although I’m not into this kind of jokes, I enjoyed the 2nd one (but please avoid typing all caps in the future :D). Just wait till I show this to my wife.

    Scott
    Scott recently posted…10 Awesome Graffiti Canvas ArtMy Profile

    1. Hey Scott,

      I get most of my jokes in my email and copy and paste them here which is why some are all in Caps. I could have rewritten the joke but that would be too much like hard work :tongue_laugh_ee:

        1. Hey Scott,

          that’s amazing. Thanks for the link mate, I’ll make sure I use it the next time I get an email full of caps.

  3. Wow those were some shocking ones. I still can’t get over those cigarettes I think I am permanently scarred.

    1. Oops, sorry Jameson :lol_ee:

  4. LOL Sire!

    Poor nun but man, those cigarettes… I stopped smoking a lot of time ago but I know for sure that I wouldn’t smoke those even if I needed it! hahaha

    Take care Sire! ;-)

    Sergio

    1. Hey Sergio, I probably didn’t think it all through properly because it seems those cigarettes have a bigger market than I originally thought :thumbup_tb:

  5. Penis is one of the precious thing in the world but how it available in very small amount. It really seems funny and amazing,

    1. Somehow I don’t think they’re real Azam :wink_ee:

      1. @Sire I know they are not real but good presentation but if we think they are real, what is possibility?

  6. Hahahaha! The penis quote sounds good enough for a Facebook wall post. And on the contrary, I think women would love to get their hands on those cigarettes. I can just see my husband’s face when I get him those. haha

    1. Feel free to use the quote Karen and I’m glad you liked the jokes.

      Oh, They’re not for you to give to your husband Karen, they’re for you to smoke :doh_tb:

  7. Since it’s Penis Joke Friday, I hear a marriage is like a tornado: In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, and when it’s over, someone loses a house.

    1. Nice one Larry, thanks for getting in on the action mate.


  8. Twitter:
    I reckon if the nun had put another coin in that machine she could have ended up with a packet of those penis cigarettes and got herself into a bad habit.
    Thanks Sire all great Friday funnies

    1. Hey Antjon, now that would have been a nice twist :laugh_tb: :thumbup_tb:

  9. Hahaaa. Let’s see now who will smoke or start smoking. Tigarettes are not good for health but people just seem to not understand that.
    Clark recently posted…CryEngine 3.4 Unveiled: TrailerMy Profile

    1. Yeah, I know, it’s weird that even though with all the bad publicity and the evidence available that proves cigarettes are bad for your health that people persist with smoking.

      1. It’s all about adiction … Once people start smoking it’s very hard for them to get rid of this bad thing. The best thing is to never try them. :) Anyway they are so addictive but they are still legal …
        Clark recently posted…Sleeping Dogs release date announcedMy Profile

        1. For some, for others all they need is a valid reason. When a doctor told my day that cigarettes were harming his health he quit cold turkey, so you see it can be done.

  10. LOL! Did I saw the picture right? The cigarette filter is shaped like a penis. Creative and cool idea though!
    Fren recently posted…How to Start a Blog SiteMy Profile

    1. Yep, you saw it right. :laugh_tb:

  11. oh!!!! i wish i still smoked, i would love to try these cigarettes to help me stop smoking tee hee

    1. Hey Veronica, who says you have to light these up,maybe you’ll get some satisfaction by just sucking on them :devil_tb:

  12. LOL!!! women do make life so much more difficult, don’t we! I enjoyed the joke and the quote. Nice post :D
    -Motorcycle Crash Lawyers

    1. Glad you liked it Mollo.

    1. Yep, never piss off your nurse, your wife, a copper or a chef as your bound to end up worse for wear.

  13. Hello Sire, another funny stuff. This type of cigarette would be much more trendy and I’m sure more women will patronize this product. The nun story was not that funny but worth my time.

    Anyway Sire, do you accept guest post? I love to share my article regarding blogging, make money online or even health and fitness articles. Just give me a reply and I’ll pitch you my article asap.

    Thanks,
    Noah

    1. Hey Noah,

      I’m afraid I’m not accepting guest posts at this time but I’ll let you know when I do.

      1. How about a link exchange? I can give you a sitewide link on my sidebar, just like your “Blogs I Like” area.

        Sorry for being persistent. I am just in the heated marketing campaign for my blog.

        Thanks

        1. Sorry Noah, I stopped doing that ages ago.

  14. Lol You’ve really made my day with this! That cigarette box could be really useful for the wannabe quitters!

    1. Yep, and you would be just the one to give it to them hey Amy :wink_ee:

  15. It’s obvious to me, James, that you are not married. :) But, I’m sure you will understand the sentiment one you are.

    1. I think you’re right there Stan

  16. This is really great and thanks for sharing this as I am really pissed up with my husband as he smokes too much. :(

    1. Wouldn’t you love for it to be real then Ariana, so you could buy him a packet :jittery_tb:

  17. LOL. I think that cigarette will make MEN quit smoking! I just can’t imagine how it’ll look on them. ahahaha! The post though makes me realize that it’s really hard to stop addiction. Crazy ideas will come out from nowhere and still, it’s useless. This has been a topic for centuries!

    1. You are so right, most men wouldn’t like it at all :homage:

  18. This post is the funniest post ever! Whew! I was really laughing to death when I saw what’s inside the cigarette box! Hmm..That thing inside is more interesting! Haha!
    I can’t comment more on the Nun.. I’m getting freak now! Whooa!

    1. Glad you liked it Karyn

  19. What exactly is that quit smoking aid meant to do? Are they covers to put over cigarettes? If so, I don’t think guys or girls would want to be sucking on one in public.

    1. Nope, it’s the actual cigarette and that’s the whole idea.

  20. Hi Sire,
    Funny post. The nun story was ok but the sculpted cigarettes are quite shocking for me, even I endup smoking if I have these types of cigarettes.

    1. Glad you liked it Pete

  21. This is fricken hilarious Sire! This will only work with straight guys IMO. If you know what I mean. I hope you don’t mind if I copy the photo and use it.

    1. Glad you liked it Mike and no I don’t mind at all. It would be nice if you could link to this post though :thumb up_ee:

    1. Hey Byrl,

      A tweet wouldn’t go astray :wink_ee:

  22. This is the funniest joke about nuns I’ve ever read :)) I usually don’t like religious jokes, but this one is too funny not to pass it along my friends :)

    1. Hey Elena,

      Like I said to Byrl, the easiest way to pass it on to your friends is via the social media via a Tweet, FaceBook like or something.

  23. I bet the next time the nun decides to fly to Melbourne she won’t bring any coins with her. This is the funniest joke I’ve read from this site! Thanks!

    1. That’s for sure. I’m so glad you liked it John.

  24. This is funny Sire! you made laugh and i really enjoyed reading it. I would love to try this cigarettes. Lol! Thanks for sharing this to us and i’m looking forward to read more from you.

  25. The cigarettes are unbelievable AWESOME! I want them sooo much xD

    And ok, I have to admit that women make things complicated, but it is also men who do it… But it’s only fair, I guess men must take it hard too…
    Sofia recently posted…Web ContentMy Profile

    1. Oh Sofia, it’s supposed to make you stop smoking :lol_ee:

Comments are closed.