Welcome dear readers to Wassupblog’s milestone Friday Funnies! It’s a milestone because this issue is our 50th in the Friday Funnies series. That means I’ve been entertaining you for the past 50 weeks! That’s almost a full years worth of laughter. I can’t tell you how happy I am that I started this series nearly a year ago and that it’s getting more popular as time goes by. Heck, I reckon the main reasons why my list continues to grow is because you guys don’t want to miss out, and for that I thank you.
And so, without further ado I present to you this weeks Friday Funnies.
I reckon most of us had dealings with traffic policeman, some good and some bad. The following is what happened to a bloke that was pulled over by a police officer.
Rectum Stretcher – Priceless
While I was driving down the motorway the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a cop on the other side with a radar gun lying in wait.
The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk, asked: ”Runway too short?”
To which I replied, “I’m late for work.”
To which he asked, “What do you do?”
“I’m a rectum stretcher,” I responded.
The copper was surprised and confused. “A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?”
“Well,” I said, “I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it’s about 6 feet.”
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, “And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?”
To which I politely replied, “You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge…”
I didn’t like the pepper spray much and I really hated what he did with that baton.
Then there’s the joke about the old guy who brags to his doctor about his sexual prowess.
The Old Man Who Became A Daddy At 90
A 90 year old man said to his doctor, “I’ve never felt better. I have a 22 year old bride who is pregnant with my child, what do you think of that?”
The doctor replied, “I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season, one day he was in a hurry and picked up his umbrella instead of his gun by mistake. When he got to the creek, he saw a beaver. He raised his umbrella and went “bang, bang, bang” and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that?”
The 90 year old said, “I’d say somebody else shot the beaver.” The doctor said, “My point exactly.”
Then of course we can’t let you go without a word from our favourite Aunty Acid. This one is a bit of advice for men.
Aunty Acid Advice For Men
Finally, to cap it all off I’ve found a video that’s going to make you really LOL
The Best Of Just For Laughs Pt 3
That’s it for this week. Have a really great weekend and don’t forget to share this post with your favourite social network. Oh, one other thing, just a reminder that Valentine Day is only two weeks away and I’ve written a post with some great Valentine Gift ideas.
The FlexSqueeze Theme gives my blog that professional look. I loved it so much that I bought the developers license. It's the easiest most customizable theme I've come across. See how easy it is to change your theme's appearance! Compare it to Thesis to see how much better it is! Check out some of the latest Latest Updates I highly recommend you to get your FlexSqueeze copy today!
Page Expiration Robot PRO Multi-Site [WSO]PER is the ultimate conversion tool. Expire posts or pages on a visitor-by-visitor basis after a specified amount of time with intelligent countdown timers. Then redirect them to any URL.
Covert MessengerNew WordPress Plugin Lets You Easily Create Cool Intant Messenger Ads On Your Blogs - These Ads Will Suck Your Visitors In and Literally Force Them To Click On Any Link You Want!
CommentLuv Premium - Unlimited LicenseThe famous CommentLuv Premium is active on over 50,000 WordPress blogs. Finally available on JVZoo. Increase your comments, traffic and encourage visitors to share your posts. Affiliates http://ql2.me/clpaff
The Logo Creator SoftwareThe Logo Creator is a software product for both Mac and Windows. It creates logos, page headers, web graphics and SO much more!
SoreThumb - You Just Can't Ignore It!SoreThumb is a revolutionary new way to help you make DAMN sure that the visitors on your site take notice of your ads, your links, your call-to-actions, your opt-in-boxes, your social icons and like buttons – it’s like your own personal spotlight operato
YourTube SuperStoreLearn how to get a "Store Tab" in your YouTube channel so you can start selling products right from INSIDE your own YouTube channel as soon as tonight!
Covert Social BuzzCovert Social Buzz - Brand New WordPress Plugin That Will Increase Your Social Traffic In 5 Minutes Or Less!
WP LinkizerWP Linkizer automatically turns every link into your blogs content into a money making machine. It does this by split testing multiple anchor text phrases and defaulting to the phrase thats gets the highest click through rate.