Well, I reckon this is going to be the last Friday Funnies for the year so I really hope you enjoy it. Don’t worry, I’m going to continue the Friday Funnies in 2013. How could I not seeing as how they’ve turned out to be so popular. You know, I think that, seeing how it’s the last one for the year and all, I’m going to give you a treat by posting two jokes instead of one.
The first one is to do with the actions of a senior citizen, and like the other jokes about the elderly that I’ve written about on this blog I’m sure you’re going to like this one.
The Senior Citizen & The BMW Z4
A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car showroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 120mph enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
“Amazing!” he thought as he flew down the M4, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
“I can get away from him – no problem!” thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 140mph, then 150 then 160. Suddenly, he thought, “What on earth am I doing? I’m too old for this nonsense!” So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him. Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up the driver’s side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, “Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I’m taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”
The old man, looked very seriously at the policeman and replied, “Years ago my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back.”
“Have a good day, Sir”, said the policeman.
Now I know why we should pay more attention to seniors citizens, because we can learn so much from them.
The Luckiest Dying Man Ever
A man goes into the doctors feeling a little ill. The doctor checks him over and says, ‘Sorry, I have some bad news, you have Yellow 24, a really nasty virus. It’s called Yellow 24 because it turns your blood yellow and you usually only have 24 hours to live. There’s no known cure so just go home and enjoy your final precious moments on earth..’
So he trudges home to his wife and breaks the news. Distraught, she asks him to go to the bingo with her that evening as he’s never been there with her before. They arrive at the bingo and with his first card he gets four corners and wins $35. Then, with the same card, he gets a line and wins $320. Then he gets the full house and wins $1000. Then the National Game comes up and he wins that too getting $380,000.
The bingo caller gets him up on stage and says, ‘Son, I’ve been here 20 years and I’ve never seen anyone win four corners, a line, the full-house and the national game on the same card. You must be the luckiest man on Earth!’
‘Lucky?’ he screamed. ‘Lucky? I’ll have you know I’ve got Yellow 24 .’ ‘Well F**k me,’ says the bingo caller. ‘You’ve won the raffle as well !!
Honestly, if she doesn’t stop laughing soon she’s going to piss her pants.
And finally, it’s time for the funniest video of the week. You’re going to love this one, not only because it’s funny but because it features a whole lot of sexy girls
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