Yay, it’s Friday Funnies time again and so it is with great pleasure that I present to you Friday Funnies #38 ! Yep, that means that its been going for a whole 38 weeks! Man that has gone quickly hasn’t it? OK, so I reckon you’ve gathered from the title of the post that it’s going to have something to do with the Irish and of course you’re correct What you don’t know is that I’m going to share not one but two incredibly funny Irish jokes with you and they both involve accidents.
The Irish Road Accident
Paddy phones an ambulance because his mate’s been hit by a car.
Paddy: ‘Get an ambulance here quick, he’s bleeding from his nose and
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ears and I tink both his legs are broken.’
Operator: ‘What is your location sir?’
Paddy: ‘Outside number 28 Eucalyptus Street .’
Operator: ‘How do you spell that sir?’
Silence…. (heavy breathing) and after a minute.
Operator: ‘Are you there sir?’
More heavy breathing and another minute later.
Operator: ‘Sir, can you hear me?’
This goes on for another few minutes until….
Operator: ‘Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?’
Paddy: ‘Yes, sorry bout dat… I couldn’t spell eucalyptus, so I just
dragged him round to number 3 Oak Street .’
OK, now for joke #2
The Irish Sawmill Accident
Paddy and Mick are two Irishmen working at the local sawmill.
One day, Mick slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw.
Paddy quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick to the local hospital.
Next day, Paddy goes to the hospital and asks after Mick.
The nurse says, “Oh he’s out in Rehab exercising”.
Paddy couldn’t believe it, but there’s Mick out the back exercising his now re-attached arm.
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The very next day he’s back at work in the saw mill.
A couple of days go by, and then Mick slips and severs his leg on another bloody big saw.
So Paddy puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick off to the hospital.
Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is.
The nurse replies, “He’s out in the Rehab again exercising”.
And sure enough, there’s Mick out there doing some serious work on the treadmill.
And very soon Mick comes back to work.
But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and severs his head.
Wearily Paddy puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and Mick to the hospital.
Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Mick is.
The nurse breaks down and cries and says, “He’s dead.”
Paddy is shocked, but not surprised…
“I suppose the saw finally did him in.”
“No”, says the nurse…. “Some dopey bastard put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated.
Now for an Irishman telling Irish jokes
Some Funny Irish Humour
And last but not least, some words of wisdom from everybody’s favourite, Aunty Acid and why she ended her singing career. To tell you the truth I know exactly how she feels. Have a great weekend guys.
Oh, just in case you want a collection of your own Irish Jokes
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