Welcome to the latest Friday Funnies guys. Here’s hoping it puts a smile on your face and starts you off on a great weekend. As my last Friday Funnies post was pretty well all about blondes I thought I would make this one all abut men. Besides, it seems that lately I’ve been concentrating too much on the ladies and most of those times I’ve been getting into trouble, usually because I’ve said the wrong thing or something.
You know guys, we always seem to think that the reason we don’t get women is because they’re a real mystery to us. Could it be that women want it that way? Think about it! If they really wanted us to know what how they tick they would have produced a bloody manual by now wouldn’t they. Anyway, just so the gals can’t say the same thing about us I’m going to put this out there for everyone to see.
Understanding Men Men Need Rules
Yep, that’s all there is to us ladies. We need rules, and just you know what they are I’m going to lay them all out for you.
These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered ‘1’ ON PURPOSE !
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work ! Strong hints do not work ! Obvious hints do not work ! Just say it !
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions, and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely ANYTHING you wear is fine… Really.
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or motor sports.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape !
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can –
to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can –
to give them a bigger laugh.
There you have it ladies, as long as you abide by those rules we’re going to get along just fine. And of course you know the best way to pass it onto your mates is by using one of the social sharing icons floating on the right there.
Now, how many of you play peek a boo with your baby? Don’t ever, ever let them find out you’ve never left the room.
And finally, just to prove all men aren’t stupid
That’s it guys. You know what to do now don’t you? That’s right, leave a comment and promote the hell out of it.