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Friday Funnies #15 The Blonde Mortician & Maroochydore Answer Machine Message

Everybody needs something to look forward to because if you didn’t have something to look forward to life would be a whole lot drearier. Having something to look forward to makes the day, or even week go faster. Imagine if there wasn’t a weekend, work would be such a chore. Everybody needs to look forward to something, even if it’s just the end of the working day.

This is one of the reasons I came up with Friday’s Funnies and writing the next Friday’s funnies post is something that I look forward to, partly because I love reading the many jokes I get but mainly because I love the feedback from you, my readers. So, without further ado I give Friday Funny’s #15.

The Blonde Mortician

A man who’d just died was delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, ‘I don’t care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.’

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly…

She says to the mortician, ‘Whatever this cost, I’m very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I’m very grateful. How much did you spend?’

To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

‘There’s no charge,’ she says.

‘No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!’ she says.

‘Honestly, ma’am,’ the blonde says, ‘it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.’

‘So I just switched the heads.’

Bet you didn’t see that coming  :tongue_laugh_ee:

OK, now for a bit of Aussie humor. This next video is supposed to be a recorded answer machine message that the teachers of the Queensland Maroochydore High School who were purportedly somewhat miffed by the poor attendance at the school.

As it turns out the whole thing was a joke posted on YouTube but I’m sure most would have seen the funny side. That is except for those parents who expect schools to be rearing their children for them that is  :hairout_tb:

And now, to finish off I give you a little image that proves now all husbands are heartless bastards.

Don’t forget if you have a funny joke you can send it to me along with the details to your blog and if I include it in one of my Friday Funnies posts I will thank you by linking to your blog.

 

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Peter Pelliccia

I'm an Aussie blogger who loves to blog and share everything that I've learned on my blogging journey, including blogging tips and ways to blog for money. I am also trying to make my way on YouTube. You can follow my progress by subscribing to My Bonzer Channel.

This Post Has 38 Comments

    1. Yeah, and if there are no wheels on the bed it would have been a mighty effort. It would probably have been easier to set up a Barbie in the bedroom :wink_ee:

      1. lol…awesome point Sire. This guy had the right idea, but his implementation wasn’t very thought out. Next time he’ll have to think smarter and bring the kitchen to her in bed.
        Jeremy recently posted…Mid May 2012 Blog UpdateMy Profile

        1. Yeah, must be the blogger in me, always looking for the easy way to get things done :wink_ee:

  1. Whoa Totally Hilarious! Really no one saw the switching of suits coming. A smart work, blonde mortician could’ve charged anything she wanted. And the image of Husband taking care of his wife is also funny.

    1. Try again Dennis, it was so much more than just switching the suits :lol_ee:

  2. That is definitely an example of good dark humor. It makes you laugh, even if the general picture is a little gloomy.

    1. The subject is a little gloomy Jack but that’s what makes the punchline so funny.

  3. Great – Thanks for making my day at the office. Its refreshing reading a Non-Business related article. Especially since its a Friday as well and the start of the (hopefully relaxing) weekend.

    1. Glad you liked it Anton, but what are you doing reading this stuff while at work? Better make sure the boss doesn’t catch you at it :smoke_tb:

  4. Didn’t see that coming with the mortician joke your right, Heehee love the cartoon it’s so true of my grandfather.

    1. Hey Khaled, you have to admit, they’re the best kind :thumbup_ee:

  5. This article really made me laugh! Now I also have something to look forward to on Fridays ;) I usually visit cyanide and happiness or Dilbert comics if I wanted to have a daily good laugh. :) Thanks for sharing this!

    1. Cool, I’ll expect to see more of you then :wink:

  6. A pretty good selection this week Sire – even I liked these (and everyone knows that I have no sense of humor this early in the morning)

    1. Hey Allan, these days it’s all I can do to get up in the mornings let alone have a sense of humour :wink_ee:

  7. Nice cartoon, I might try the “breakfast in bed” trick on my wife – actually maybe not I might get my breakfast thrown over me!

    1. She has to make it first Gary :lol_ee:

    1. That’s the way I look at it too Pete. Have a great weekend mate.

  8. It is light joke but very funny to have bed in the kitchen. It means that bed room and kitchen are one place and it is movable bed and can go else where. Thanks for posting such a light and interesting visual jokes.

    1. It’s only in the kitchen so the wife can have breakfast in bed Azam :wink:

  9. Another funny stuff Sire. I never thought the the blonde mortician will switch the heads instead of the suit.

    The video is another funny thing. Any parent would have enrolled their child to that type of school, which simplifies every usual school inquiries.

    Nice share Sire. Keep it coming!

    1. I’ll try Noah. Glad you enjoyed the post

  10. This is the best joke I have heard in a very long time. My wife and I were laughing so loud we almost woke our young daughter! Thanks for the joke!

    1. Always a pleasure James


  11. Twitter:
    Thank you, once again, for the laughs to start my day off with. The past few days have been quite busy for me, so this ended up being a Monday Morning Funnies instead, but it does make for a great way to start the last week of having to get the kids to school. :)

    1. Hey Allie, you know me, always ready to make the lady laugh :wink:

  12. I really had a good laugh while reading all throughout your blog post! It’s pretty cool that you have this Friday Funnies, it’s like having a day off from posting serious blog posts! I hope I can think about something similar though. :)

    1. It’s something I now look forward to Sara and I know its slowly growing in popularity as well

  13. Besides your Friday Funnies series, I can’t wait to go home on Sundays and spend time with my folks. We joke, we laugh, eat and play cards. :D

    1. In that case Jennifer you may want to check first to see if my future Friday Funnies post is family friendy before sharing with them on your Sunday get togethers.

  14. Hahaha, didn’t see that one coming. I (obviously) thought the blonde just switched suits. Didn’t really like the video (well, it’s audio with a picture) though.
    Menno Bos recently posted…goedkoop parkeren schipholMy Profile

    1. The video is funnier if you were to think of it as the real thing and not just something made up for laughs.

  15. That is really funny. I though she will swap the suit which is quite easier, that blonde mortician just reminded me of some blonde Youtube sensation who was recist about asians in the library at UCLA.

    Mark Sanders@Cable Tunnels
    Mark Sanders recently posted…NEW E Z Roll Wire DispenserMy Profile

    1. Yeah, that’s what made it so funny. :wink_ee:

  16. Haha this is hilarious! Never seen this website until someone forwarded this to me, but I’ll be checking every friday in future! I must admit I did not see the head swap coming…

    1. Yeah, it’s those jokes that have the unexpected punchline that really hit the mark

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