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Friday Funnies #12 The Funny Side Of Affairs

Welcome good reader to this weeks Friday Funnies. For those of you who are new to WassupBlog Friday is a day that many people look forward to as it’s the day where I entertain my readers to a post that is designed to make you laugh your ass off, or at the very least have a huge smile on your face.

This weeks joke is all about affairs. Now although I disagree with affairs as I believe one should marry for life and if you can’t bear to be with that person any more you get up and leave, you don’t cheat on them. Anyway, this series of jokes show that there can be a humorous side to affairs.

The Funny Side Of Affairs

The First Affair

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home. ‘Where have you been?’ his wife demanded. ‘I can’t lie to you,’ he replied, ‘I’m having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.’ She looked down at his shoes and said: ‘You lying bastard! You’ve been playing golf!’

The 2nd Affair

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife: ‘There’s no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?’

The wife smiled sweetly and replied: ‘No, not this time!’

The 3rd Affair

A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest Johnson He had ever seen!

‘I’m sorry Mr. Schwartz,’ the mortician commented, ‘I can’t allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.’ So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase  and took it home.

‘I have something to show you won’t believe,’ he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.

‘My God!’ the wife exclaimed, ‘Schwartz is dead!’

The 4th Affair

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. ‘Hurry,’ she said, ‘stand in the corner.’ She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. ‘Don’t move until I tell you,’ she said. ‘Pretend you’re a statue.’

‘What’s this?’ the husband inquired as he entered the room. ‘Oh it’s a statue,’ she replied. ‘The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.’ No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer. ‘Here,’ he said to the statue, ‘have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a fukkin thing.’

The 5th Affair

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer. ‘Certainly, Sir, that’ll be one cent.’ ‘One Cent?’ the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: ‘How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?’

‘A nickel,’ the barman replied. ‘A nickel?’ exclaimed the man. ‘Where’s the guy who owns this place?’ The bartender replied: ‘Upstairs, with my wife.’

The man asked: ‘What’s he doing upstairs with your wife?’

The bartender replied: ‘The same thing I’m doing to his business down here.’

The 6th & Best Affair

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly: ‘I have something I must confess.’ ‘There’s no need to, ‘his wife replied. ‘No,’ he insisted, ‘I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!’

‘I know,’ she replied. ‘Now just rest and let the poison work.’

And now for this weeks video.

Funniest Video Accidents

That’s it guys. Hope you liked this weeks Fridays Funnies and if you did don’t forget to share it by giving it a tweet.

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Peter Pelliccia

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This Post Has 29 Comments

  1. Thanks for the laughs SIre. Great way to start a day. The affair jokes were pretty funny, but the video made me cringe a few times. I’m not sure what some of those people were thinking. They must’ve known some of those ideas wouldn’t end well.
    Jeremy recently posted…End of April Blog UpdateMy Profile

    1. Always a pleasure to put a smile on someones face Jeremy.

      As to the video, I reckon I cringed a few times but that didn’t stop me from laughing. :smoke_tb:

  2. I always love coming to read your Friday funnies. I just about died laughing at the video. I liked the biking guy the best… poor fellow.

    1. And I love it when you drop in to read the posts and find them inspiring enough to leave a comment. :thumbup_ee:

  3. Wow, never thought that even affair can be so funny. See Like You have done a lot of … .. Research to write this post.
    Rajnish recently posted…How To Monetize Your WebsiteMy Profile

    1. I can’t tell a lie Rajnish, no research at all as I got the joke in an email.

  4. You have posted excellent video. I was very relaxed by watching such a nice video. I think a man is blessed who does sex with his secretory and his wife consider that he has played golf instead of doing sex. I want such a funny wife but very impossible to find such a gift of nature.

    1. So glad you liked it Azam. As for the man being blessed, I think the fact that he cheated on his wife in the first place probably cursed him more than anything. If anything he was lucky :wink:

  5. Sire, look at those instances in there! Those are really very funny indeed! Trust me! :D Well I am finding it very difficult to control it. Your Friday Funnies are fantastic!

    1. That’s nice of you to say so David.

    1. Hey Amanda, I had to say that because I didn’t want to give any of my readers the wrong idea. Glad you liked the post.

  6. Hi Sire,
    The video is very funny especially the scene in which the man fall in the maintenance hole, I can’t stop laughing after watching these funny accidents. You make my day :)

    1. Glad you liked it Syeda

  7. Hahaha…the fourth affair was the most enjoyable..the video was also pretty awesome and died laughing on seeing it…the baseball guy…poor fellow…

  8. “I always love coming to read your Friday funnies, never thought that even affair can be so funny, These are actually very funny indeed, I can’t stop laughing after watching these funny, thanks for sharing.

    1. That’s why I post them Taylor, so you guys can have a good laugh.

  9. Haha! As always, you really have a lot of good, funny stories. I would love to subscribe but I don’t know how. I really liked this weeks ‘affairs’. :)

    1. Really? I do have links above and below the posts that will take you to the subscription form :wink:

  10. Hello Sire,

    The second affair was a usual Filipino joke. The last two were the funniest.

    Thanks for sharing these jokes.

    1. Anytime Noah

  11. Hello,i just came back to your site and hopped on to this post and I couldn’t stop laughing,nice compilation :) I liked the 4th affair.

    1. Cool, that’s what the post is supposed to do :wink:

  12. I really had a great time reading these funny stories. But hey, I learned so many things. This is a great article everybody should be reading

  13. I wonder how I didn’t found you befor. The 5th affair was my favourite!

    You should also leave a joke at Thursdays, because is the hardest day of the week… A song is fine too (:
    Sofia recently posted…Web ContentMy Profile

  14. :)) Great jokes on affairs. I’ve never understood why people cheat. Besides the fact is not nice and moral, you spend money to cover “tracks” and make presents both your wife and mistress to keep them happy.

    1. The trouble with affairs is everyone loses. I’d rather joke about it than actually doing it.

      1. Touche, Peter! You couldn’t have said it better. I feel the same way. :D If everybody would think like us, there would be a better world.

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