I reckon there are a lot of disgruntle wives out there which one of which prompted me to focus this week’s Friday Funnies on disgruntled wife jokes. The first of my disgruntled wife jokes takes place in an English courtroom.
Disgruntled Wife Jokes #1
A Nottingham woman (pictured below) has lost her case at Nottingham magistrates court today after she tried to sue the United Kingdom National Health Service Queens Medical Centre after her husband went in for an operation which left him unable to have sex with her afterwards.
Mrs Minger of Bulwell aged 67 said to reporters outside court this afternoon “Me and me ‘usband Fred ‘ave ‘ad bangin’ sex till ‘e went ta ‘ospital and ‘ad ‘is operation, now ‘e’s not interested ‘n me and it’s all down to them twats”!
The surgeon who performed the operation and attended court to give evidence said: “all we did was remove Fred’s cataracts”!
The thing with disgruntled wife jokes is how some of the things that women do to get even with their husbands can be quite funny. Which brings me to;
Disgruntled Wife Jokes #2
One evening, this bloke comes home from work only to find his home entirely upside down. His three children were still in their pyjamas, eating snacks from the fridge, the entrance rug lying on the table, the television in the living room blasting cartoons loudly, and all the furniture in the room covered in stuff. The kitchen sink was full of dishes, the leftovers from breakfast were scattered all over the counter, and crumbs covered it as well. The man hurried up the stairs, jumping over toys and piles of clothes, worried that his wife might be sick or that something had happened to her.
When he entered the bedroom, breathless, he found her lying happily in bed while still in her pyjamas, reading a book. Hearing his heavy breathing, she looked at him, smiled, and asked how his day had been. The surprised man was perplexed and asked his wife, “What happened here today?” The woman smiled at him and replied, “you know how every day when you come home you ask me what the hell I did that day?” “Yes,” replied the man, astonished. “Exactly,” replied the woman, “Today, I didn’t do any of it.”
Filed under: Friday Funnies
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