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Sire At The Renowned 2013 Convention

2013

The year is 2013, the day is the 2nd of January where hundreds of thousands of Bloggers from all over the world have congregated to hear Sire the most renowned blogger ever speak about the coming year. They’ve been waiting ever since the day before when the event was supposed to take place but Sire never turned up. His minions explained that Sire did a bit too much celebrating on New Years eve and was too busy chucking up to present himself to his loyal followers. He would however present himself on the morrow and although dejected people decided to stay rather than to lose their spot. Many were wondering whether he could outdo his performance which was touted as a massive flop. One has to wonder whether they are here to bask in his greatness or in the hope that he will once again he will make a public spectacle…

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Sire’s Scary Halloween Poem

scary halloween

I suppose you guys have noticed that my blog now has a Halloween feel about it? Something that I do on a constant basis is to change the theme so that it’s in keeping with the current holiday season and seeing how Halloween is just around the corner I thought it only fitting to give it that Halloween look. Lucky for me the FlexSqueeze makes it so easy to do. Anyway, a little over three years ago, or three Halloweens ago  I wrote a post called A Poem For Halloween The Night Of Frights and as it turns out that particular post brings in quite a bit of traffic every year around this time. Now I wonder why that is?  That particular poem had a twist to it and because it was so long ago I thought it only fitting that I should post another Halloween Poem! Screams Of Halloween It’s…

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The Magical Garden And The Huge Boob Bush

Once upon a time, in a land not so very far away, there was a magical garden tended by Sire. Sire’s expertise in the  garden was such that people used to say his green thumb extended right to his shoulder. The garden belonged to the king of the land who, much to his misfortune, married Googleless, the wicked, but buxom, witch. Like all wicked witches Googleless was vain and her particular vanity extended to her well endowed breasts, which she maintained firm and sag free with her wicked magic. Every night as she sat topless combing her long jet black hair, she would croon to her magic mirror; Magic Mirror on the wall Who has the best titties of the all? And the magic mirror would reply; Oh Googleles, Queen so fair Your titties are the best, beyond compare. To which the witch queen would cackle with delight. Now, Sire,…

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The Journey To Bloggersville

I woke up to the sounds of the bubbling creek singing in my ears. I looked over at Jandoram who was sleeping peacefully and decided to let him sleep a little longer while I prepared breakfast. Fortunately there was lots of wood for a fire around our camping ground, and the presence of some wild apple trees made the gathering of some fruit quite easy. After starting the fire I took out some slithers of salted kangaroo meat a plopped them into the pan greased with pig fat. While that was sizzling noisily I deftly sliced some of the apples and threw them in with the roo meat, keeping the rest for later. Just before breakfast was ready I started to whistle loudly, hoping that the tune “When the Saints Come Marching In” would wake Jandoram. To my reckoning, waking up to my lousy whistling was a whole lot better…

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In Search Of Fame And Glory

It was only a week after the harvest, whilst I was walking through the village square on the way to the tavern for a feed, that I heard a commotion in the alleyway. I should have known better, but my curiosity got the better of me. It was in a small recess of the alley that I saw Kilander raising his huge fist about to lay another blow on Jandoram. “Well, what have we here Kilander, are you about to hit Jandoram again, even after the village elders had warned you against it?” He stops mid swing and glares at me, hatred in his eyes, and even though it wasn’t quite noon I could smell the liquor on his breath. “You stay out of this Sire, it’s between me and my son.” “Come Kilander, If his real father was alive today, you would be the last one to raise a…

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Google The Tyrant A Tale of Old

When you are an Immortal, time is nowhere near as fleeting as when you thought your days were actually finite. I remember how time used to almost stand still when I was a kid and then as I got older time seemed to simply fly right on by. That was before I knew I was immortal, and now I have learned to live with the knowledge that one day will always follow another, forever and ever. There have been many Immortals that couldn’t accept this fact but the few that remain have learned that acceptance and purpose was the key to living with longevity. I discovered that my purpose was to help people where possible, to make their days a bit less stressful and perhaps to incite a bit of laughter every now and again. Today was the beginning of the harvest in the town of Hahndorf. I had picked…

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Sire’s Big Moment A Total Flop

As I lie basking under the warming sun, memories of a time long ago,when bloggers wielded a great amount of power, came flooding back to me. It was the year 2015, five years before the holocaust. The place happened to be the historic Adelaide Festival Theater  where the latest blogging convention was being held and I just happened to be the guest speaker. By that time I had reached Pro Blogger status and my popularity was so great that the room was filled to capacity. I remember when I stepped on the stage how the murmur of the crowd rose to a roar as soon as my presence was noticed. After a moment of basking in the adulation I raised my hand to signal that I wanted them to settle down. As soon as the roar subsided and I knew I finally had their attention I commenced with my  speech….

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Blond Bombshell Finds The True Worth Of Vanity

In the land Of Wassup, many years ago, there lived a woman named Deseria who was renowned for her beauty. The trouble with Deseria was that she knew she was beautiful and wanted everyone around her to appreciate the fact. Every night and morning she would go through the routine of brushing her luscious blond hair the required 500 strokes, all the while gazing lovingly at her reflection. Every time she would speak to the mirror the following words, “Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” Luckily for her the mirror was an inanimate object, otherwise it would have used it’s magical ability to throttle her. Still, Deseria would play her little game and in her mind she would hear the mirror telling her what a real stunner she was and how every woman in the world was extremely jealous of her. One stormy night…

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About Peter Pelliccia"