Short Stories Archives

Sire At The Renowned 2013 Convention

2013

The year is 2013, the day is the 2nd of January where hundreds of thousands of Bloggers from all over the world have congregated to hear Sire the most renowned blogger ever speak about the coming year. They’ve been waiting ever since the day before when the event was supposed to take place but Sire never turned up. His minions explained that Sire did a bit too much celebrating on New Years eve and was too busy chucking up to present himself to his loyal followers. He would however present himself on the morrow and although dejected people decided to stay rather than to lose their spot.

Many were wondering whether he could outdo his performance which was touted as a massive flop. One has to wonder whether they are here to bask in his greatness or in the hope that he will once again he will make a public spectacle of himself. Read the rest of this entry

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Sire’s Scary Halloween Poem

scary halloween

I suppose you guys have noticed that my blog now has a Halloween feel about it? Something that I do on a constant basis is to change the theme so that it’s in keeping with the current holiday season and seeing how Halloween is just around the corner I thought it only fitting to give it that Halloween look. Lucky for me the FlexSqueeze makes it so easy to do.

Anyway, a little over three years ago, or three Halloweens ago  :wink_ee: I wrote a post called A Poem For Halloween The Night Of Frights and as it turns out that particular post brings in quite a bit of traffic every year around this time. Now I wonder why that is?  :smoke_tb: That particular poem had a twist to it and because it was so long ago I thought it only fitting that I should post another Halloween Poem!

Screams Of Halloween

It’s Halloween, the night of fright
Which child will go missing tonight?
Do they know on who’s door they knock?
For imagined treats, perhaps a shock!

Dark and scary, they venture still
Smiling pumpkins upon window sill
Dares’t they knock upon the door?
Knowing not who knocked before

Did they get the treats they sought?
Or perhaps some dreadful evil wrought
Upon young flesh sweet and innocent
So hungry for fresh souls to torment

Looking around, eerie sounds abound
Is that the baying of the devils hound?
Jack-O-Lantern’s smile or evil grin
A little fear brings goosebumps to skin

Though breath comes fast still they knock
Door creakily opens as though to mock
Candles light a path to their treats
Will they enter or quickly retreat?

Temptation too much for them to bear
They venture slowly in to claim their share
The door swings shut they whirl around
Demons, ghosts and ghouls did abound

Passersby heard their terrified screams
Their flesh did crawl as from their darkest dreams
But walk on by past the house obscene
After all, are not screams part of Halloween?

After posting this I thought that you might like to hear me give you a personal rendition and so I made a video and uploaded it to YouTube. I tried to give it a scary sound but I’m not sure that I succeeded  :laugh_tb:

Well, that’s it my scary friends. Did you enjoy it? Did it make your skin crawl? Which poem did you like best, the one from the other post or this one? If you enjoyed the video, please take the time to head on over to YouTube so you can give it the thumbs up. If you do I won’t have to haunt you  :devil_tb:

If you really liked it you know what to do, write me a comment telling me what you liked about it but most of all share it with your friends on the social media. Give it a Tweet, share it with your FaceBook friends, Stumble it or even give it a Google +1. You know you want to, before the ghouls come to get you.  :devil_tb:

Halloween Zombie

 

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The Magical Garden And The Huge Boob Bush

Disney Animation buildingOnce upon a time, in a land not so very far away, there was a magical garden tended by Sire. Sire’s expertise in the  garden was such that people used to say his green thumb extended right to his shoulder. The garden belonged to the king of the land who, much to his misfortune, married Googleless, the wicked, but buxom, witch.

Like all wicked witches Googleless was vain and her particular vanity extended to her well endowed breasts, which she maintained firm and sag free with her wicked magic. Every night as she sat topless combing her long jet black hair, she would croon to her magic mirror;

Magic Mirror on the wall

Who has the best titties of the all?

And the magic mirror would reply;

Oh Googleles, Queen so fair

Your titties are the best, beyond compare.

To which the witch queen would cackle with delight.

Now, Sire, once a royal knight of old, never liked the king’s choice of a bride, but what could he do for he was a king after all and wanton to have his way. The queen didn’t much like Sire either, most likely because of his closeness to the king, and so she made things difficult for him. Sire however, put up with her crap as he figured that the 4 weeks holiday with the 17.5% loading was well worth the irritation. Besides, he much rather tend the magical garden that joust or fight fire breathing dragons.

One day it got so bad that Sire thought it was time for payback. Knowing of her boob fixation he used all his skills to shape one of the bushes in the garden into the most luscious, titillating breasts that he could ever have imagined.

That night as the wicked witch queen sat brushing her hair, her full breasts staring at her in the mirror;

Mirror Mirror on the wall

Who has the best titties of them all?

To which the mirror replied;

Oh Googleless, Queen so fair

There are better titties than your luscious pair.

Googleless stopped mid stroke, her jaw dropped and the blood drained from her face, but only for a moment, for before you could say Google Slap, her face went red with rage and she let out a tirade of abuse that scorched the gold flakes from the mirror’s frame.

Once she calmed down she compelled the mirror to reveal whose breasts could possible be better than her own. So it was that she learned of Sire’s magical bush. “A bush,” she screams. How can a bush be better than these tits of mine, which are real and silicon free. (Reckon she must have forgotten about the magic she’s been using the vain bitch)

It was then that the mirror showed her Sire’s marvelous creation, and when she saw that they were truly better than her own she had a heart attack and died.

Upon her death a dark veil was lifted from that not so far off land, yet none but Sire knew the part that the boob bush had to play. All that people knew of the bush was that it was truly beautiful and that anyone who rubbed the leafy nipple would find good fortune. No doubt a myth that was started by the mischievous Sire.

Well, I sure hope you liked that short story, but you know it wasn’t completely fictitious. The boob bush did actually exist in my garden and I did actually tell my neighbors that I rubbed it everyday for luck. They loved it and thought the bush was a scream. Not so much the wife though. She wasn’t too impressed about having a boob with a huge nipple in her front garden. After constant nagging I decided, for the sake of some peace and quiet, that I would change the shape of the bush until it looked like the photo below.

manicuredbush

You don’t see the boob? Use your imagination guys to remove the wart on the nipple. :tongue_laugh_ee:

Hey, if you liked the story don’t forget to tweet it or to share it with your FaceBook mates by clicking the like button.

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