It’s been quite some time since I’ve posted some funny Sexy Sals blonde jokes so I thought I would dedicate this weeks Friday Funnies to a whole heap of really funny Sexy Sals jokes! Before I do that though it’s best, for SEO purposes, that I actually post some really funny blonde jokes.
A blonde decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn’t sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her blonde friend from next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size.
“Buffy,” she said, “How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?”
“Ten,” said Buffy.
So the blonde bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job, but she had 2 rolls leftover. “Buffy,” she said. “I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I’ve got 2 leftover!” “Yes,” said Buffy. “So did I.”
Our next funny blonde joke involves 2 blondes, one of them a cop.
A blonde was speeding in a 25 mile per hour residental zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over. The female police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde. She asked for the blonde’s driver’s license.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, “What does a driver’s license look like?’
Irritated, the blonde cop said, “Don’t be a smart ass!, it’s got your picture on it!”
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, “Aha! This must be my driver’s license”, then handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, “You’re free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this.”
OK, now it’s time for Sexy Sal to strut her stuff!
As today is Good Friday I’ve changed the theme of this blog to an Easter theme. Thankfully this is really easy because I use the FlexSqueeze theme. Those of us who believe in Jesus know that Easter is all about acknowledging His great sacrifice. Jesus gave His life for us so that all who believe in Him could also be saved.
Because it’s also Friday Funnies time I’ve decided to post a few sacrifice jokes. The first sacrifice joke is actually one of Sexy Sals blonde jokes.
Sexy Sals Blonde Sacrifice Jokes
There are many types of sacrifices as is pointed out in the next of our sacrifice jokes.
I dreamed that Bill Gates and I both died on the same day, and we went to hell. I felt that there must have been some kind of mistake, so I went to talk to Satan and asked if there was any way to get out of hell.
Satan said, “Well there is one way…you have to find the ugliest, nastiest looking woman in hell and make mad passionate love to her, and then you might be able to get out of hell.”
I was willing to make the sacrifice, so I found the ugliest woman in hell and started making love to her. I looked up and noticed Bill Gates…he was making love to a gorgeous sexy blonde.
I went to Satan and asked, “How come Bill is making love to that beautiful blonde?”
Satan said, “She’s trying to get out of hell too.”
The final sacrifice jokes is about how much a man will go through for his loving wife.
A married couple was in a terrible accident that resulted in the woman’s face being severely burned. She needed a skin graft but the doctor told the husband that they couldn’t use any of her skin because she was just too skinny.Without hesitating the faithful husband offered to donate some of his own skin. The problem was the only skin on his body that was suitable would have to come from his arse.
The husband and wife agreed that it would have to do. They swore they wouldn’t tell anyone and implored that the doctor also honour their secret.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at how stunning she now looked. She looked more beautiful than ever before! Her friends and relatives just kept going on about her newfound beauty!
One day, whilst alone with her husband she was overcome with emotion at his incredible sacrifice. Hugging and kissing him she said, “Oh honey, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you.”
“Sweetheart,” he replied, “there’s no need for that. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”
And so ends another Friday Funnies and the end of the sacrifice jokes. Remember you’ll always find more laughs in my funny sports jokes section.
Ranch Jokes that make people laugh. I came across some of these ranch jokes in my email the other day and they got me laughing so loudly that I had to include them in this weeks Friday Funnies. Seeing as how todays Friday Funnies is the 200th post of Friday Funnies I wanted it to be especially funny. I hope you find these ranch jokes as funny as I did.
A Female Ranch Jokes That Will Floor You
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher’s widow said to the hired hand, “You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick your heels.” The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
One o’clock came, however, and he didn’t return.
Two o’clock and no hired hand.
Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher’s widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her.
“Unbutton my blouse and take it off,” she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed. “Now take off my boots.”
He did as she asked, ever so slowly. “Now take off my socks.”
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
“Now take off my skirt.”
He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.
“Now take off my bra.” Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said, “If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you’re fired.”
For our second ranch joke I thought it only fitting that Sexy Sals thrills us with another of her hilarious blonde jokes.
Next we go to Montana for our final ranch jokes.
Old ranch owner John farmed a small ranch in Montana. The Montana Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his workers and sent an agent out to interview him.
‘I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,’ demanded the agent.
‘Well,’ replied old John, ‘There’s my ranch hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 a week plus free room and board. Then there’s the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night.’
‘That’s the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit,’ says the agent.
‘That would be me,’ replied old rancher John.
Don’t be shy now, leave a comment telling us which of the jokes was your favourite.
I hope you enjoyed this weeks Friday Funnies. Don’t forget to have a great weekend and to visit my sports jokes category for more funny jokes