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Man, you got to love it when the work week goes by and you have the weekend to look forward too. Then of course, thanks to yours truly  :smoke_tb: , you also have Friday Funnies to look forward to. As usual I’ve taken the time to find a nice selection of jokes and as usual I’m hoping they all go over well.

With this weeks Fridays Funnies I have to warn you that there’s going to be some swear words in the following story, so if you think you may be offended, do yourself a favor and do not read beyond this point.

This letter was sent to the Lions Bay School Principal’s office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for seniors. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you.

Dear Lions Bay School ,

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent Senior Citizens luncheon I am 91 years old and live at the Trafalgar Square Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone and I want to thank you for the kindness shown to a forgotten old lady. My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio; but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.

The other day her radio fell off the nightstand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to fuck off.

Thank you for that opportunity.

Sincerely,

Joan

Mmm, seems that for some old age just helps to make you bitter. Joan, you are a bad girl  :tongue_laugh_ee:

The Canadian Crocodile Attack

After last weeks fly eating bullfrogs I thought I’d give you something a little bigger.

You’re going to love this little prank!  :thumbup_tb:

Aunty Acid And Men Cartoon

Oh Auntie Acid, you really love to stick it to us men don’t you luv? Never mind, cos we can handle it and we loves ya ll the same.

 Aunty Acid And Men

That’s it guys. I hope you liked  this weeks Fridays Funnies and I wish you all a great week end.

Continue your page here…

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Friday Funnies # 33 A Female Robot Secretary

Hey guys, welcome to this weeks latest Friday Funnies :thumbup_ee:  You know, as time goes by scientists come up with great new gadgets to make peoples lives easier, whether it’s at home, work or even for play. Like everything else jokes tend to move with the times.This particular joke is no different and I can safely say that it absolutely rocks! It actually combines a bit of robotic technology that brings both functionality and perhaps even a bit of naughty fun into the office :devil_tb:

If this doesn’t get a smile out of you then you just do not have a sense of humor. Oh, this is one of those jokes that has a moral to it. See if you can work out what it is.

Two friends meet in the office of one of them, a notorious techno-geek.

“Hey, bud, how are ya?”

“I’m good. Congratulations, that new secretary of yours is beautiful!”

“Well, I’m glad you like her. Believe it or not, she’s a robot!”

“No way, how could that be?”

“Way! She’s the latest model from Japan. Lemme tell you how she works. If you squeeze her left boob, she takes dictation. If you squeeze her right boob, she types a letter. And that’s not all, she can have sex, too!”

“Holy shit! You’re kidding, right?”

“No, she’s something, huh? Tell you what, you can even borrow her.”

So, his friend takes her into the restroom and is in there with her for a while. Suddenly, he hears him screaming “Eeeeyaaaaa! Heeelp” Ooooooh! Aaaaaaah! eeeeeeeeeaaargghhhh!”

The guy says, “Shit! I forgot to tell him her ass is a pencil sharpener!”

African Bullfrog And The iPhone

You have to admit, that was pretty funny  :lol_ee:

And finally, a word from everybody’s favourite Aunty, Aunty Acid!

Aunty Acid Shops cartoon

That’s it guys, have a great weekend.

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Friday Funnies #32 Fanny Green – Aunty Acid

Hey guys, oh my how time flies when your having fun. You were having fun weren’t you? Oh right, it’s been a hard week at the grind stone and you’ve come here for your weekly dose of laughs. Man, I sure hope I don’t disappoint you because it’s going to be pretty hard to top last weeks Friday Funnies. Still, I pulled out all the stops and I reckon you’re going to this weeks selection of jokes.

Knowing how much you guys love Irish jokes I thought I would start off with one about a few Irishmen who have decided to have sex with Fanny Green. :thumbup_ee:

Fanny Green

An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick’s Catholic Church.

‘Father’, he confessed, ‘it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.’

The priest told the sinner, ‘You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary’s.

‘Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. ‘Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I’ve had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months.’

This time, the priest questioned, ‘Who is this Fanny Green?’

‘A new woman in the neighborhood,’ the sinner replied.

‘Very well,’ sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Mary’s.

At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary.

The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes.

The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasn’t wearing any underwear.

The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, ‘Is that Fanny Green?’

The bug-eyed altar boy couldn’t believe his ears but managed to calmly reply,

‘No Father, I think it’s just a reflection from her shoes’.

And now from sex with Fanny Green we go to a funny gag video featuring two make believe hookers.

And finally a word or two from everyone’s favorite, Aunty Acid.

Aunty Acid Payslip

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Friday Funnies #30 Making A Woman & More

Before I get to this weeks Friday Funnies, which I know you’re going to love, I want to remind all the bloggers out there, the ones that wish they had some help with their keyword research, about the huge special on one of the best SEO tools out there. The post is called Buying Market Samurai At A Really Good Price!

OK, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way I’m about to get myself into trouble with this weeks Friday Funnies. When I say in trouble, naturally I mean with the women, because I know all the men out there are really going to love this one  :smoke_tb:

Do you guys remember that post About Understanding Men that I wrote a few weeks ago? Well, I figured that this week I would write one all about someone from the fairer sex feel like a woman!

MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WOMAN !!

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.

The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.

One woman, in particular, loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. ‘I’m too young to die,’ she wails.

Then she yells, ‘If I’m going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?’

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare, eyes riveted, at this desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then a Jackeroo from Australia stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome, well built, with dark brown hair and blue eyes.

He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt, one button at a time.

No one moves. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest. (Must be because he is an Aussie!  :tongue_laugh_ee: Sorry, I had to throw that in….back to the joke)

She gasps.

He whispers ………………..

‘Iron this. Then get me a beer’.

:lol_ee: Wouldn’t you love to be a fly on the wall in a situation like that. I wonder how long after she picked her jaw up off the floor before she gave that guy what for?  :ponder_tb:

Now for this weeks funny video!

Best Of Just For Laughs Gags

Now, just to finish off here is some wise words from Auntie Acid.

Auntie Acid takes no shit from anyone

You know, I didn’t even know Auntie Acid existed until I got all these images in an email and then I posted one in a Friday Funnies series and I’ve been getting all this feedback from people telling me that just love the Aunty Acid cartoons! Well, you’ll be happy to know that I have a few more left so I’ll keep posting them in future Friday Funnies posts.  :drunk_tb:

 

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