After my last post, Sire’s Scary Halloween Poem, and keeping with the Halloween theme I thought it only fitting that Friday Funnies is Halloween related. Unfortunately, after scouring all my emails I couldn’t find anything that I thought would do the post justice and so I had to resort to Google! I got to tell you, there isn’t much out there. Most of them are one liners and a couple weren’t even funny.
Because I didn’t get these jokes in the emails I thought I’d do the right things and post the links the respective jokes. I found this one on Halloween Howl.
Halloween bat (Photo credit: Free Flower)
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.He told them to knock it off and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.
“OK, follow me,” he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
“Now, do you see that tree over there?” he asked.
“Yes, yes, yes!” the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
“Good,” said the first bat, “Because I DIDN’T!”
This next video is a pretty long one but its really worth watching.
Halloween Hallway Of Hell
And now for a little video of a Halloween prank gone wrong.
Halloween Prank Gone Wrong
Well, that’s it guys. Hope you enjoyed this weeks Friday Funnies and don’t forget to have a great weekend. But before you go here are some great Halloween deals from Amazon.
There have been times in my life when I’ve been asked whether I am a tit ass or leg man. Heck, I’m sure many men throughout the ages have been asked the same thing on more than one occasion. In case you’re wandering about my preferences I don’t particularly have one as I’m quite happy to admire whatever women are prepared to show me. If their going to give me some cleavage I am quite happy to take in the site. The same goes for those women who insist on wearing tight skirts, shorts or pants as well as those who wear those lovely short numbers.
Heck, I love women so much that it’s not unusual for me to post some revealing images on this very blog, not to mention my sexual aid blog Heck, I’ve used so many images I get emails from folk warning me to be careful so as to not offend the big G. So many emails that I;m thinking of writing a post about sex and Google. But not today, today it’s all about Friday Funnies and as you might of guessed, this weeks Friday Funnies is going to contain some tits in it. So, if the naked breast offends you then you had better move on because this post is not for you.
Fifty Shades Of Grey
Although I haven’t read it I’ve heard a lot about the book Fifty Shades Of Grey and how it can release you inhibitions. After seing this funny poem it kind of made me want to go out and buy the damn thing.
Me missus bought a paperback
Down town on Saturday,
I had a peep into her bag;’Twas “Fifty Shades of Grey.”
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread.
Her left hand held a length of rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down onto the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago
I might have had a peek;
But Doris hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week.
Watching Doris bump and grind
Could not have been much grimmer.
Things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled up upon her feet
A cuppla minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
That I must dominate her!!
Now if you knew our Doris,
You would see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d uttered.
She stood there nude, just naked like,
Bent forward just a bit ….
I took a pace to brace meself And stood on her left tit!
Old Doris screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one!”
Well readers, I won’t tell no more
What happened on that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair
Turned “fifty shades of grey”.
And now for a bit of country western as this video is one of a bloke called Rodney Carrington and it’s all about trying to get the audience to show them their titties
Show Me Your Titties Song
What, you don’t think women flashing their boobs in public because some guy asks them to isn’t funny? Heck, if I didn’t know any better I would have sworn he wrote that song after reading the post Taking Off Your Clothes For The Greater Good.
Aunty Acid And Her Boobs
Well, that’s it for this weeks Friday Funnies. I hope you liked it enough to give it a Tweet, FaceBook Like or something to share it with your friends so they can enjoy it as well.
I have to admit that I’m pretty happy the way Friday Funnies has turned out to be such a success. Not only am I getting great feedback from readers, both in the comments section and via email, but as it turns out it is also generating quite a bit of traffic. Why, just checking todays stats shows that a good 30% of my traffic is being generated by people looking for a good laugh. When you consider all the bad news in the world it’s not surprising that so many people are looking for something to cheer them up.
Sex In The Hospital
A wealthy woman was being shown around the hospital.
During her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.
‘Oh my GOD!’ screamed the woman. ‘That’s disgraceful! …… Why is he doing that?’
The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, “I’m very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn’t do that at least five times a day, he’ll be in extreme pain and his testicles could easily rupture.”
”Oh, well in that case, I guess it’s okay” said the woman.
As they passed by the very next room, they saw a male patient lying in bed while a nurse performed oral sex on him. Again, the woman screamed;
“Oh my GOD! Now tell me how that can be justified?”
The doctor spoke very calmly, “Same illness, better health plan.”
Now, that is the sort of health plan I’d happily be a part of
Keeping with the hospital theme I found a really funny YouTube video featuring Mr Bean.
Mr. Beans Hospital Escapades
Aunty Acid And PMS
That’s it guys. Thanks for taking part in this weeks Friday Funnies and I hope you all have a great weekend! Oh, in case you’re looking for some great, funny reading material, here’s some great stuff from Amazon.
Covert Geo TargeterNew WordPress Plugin Lets You Easily Geo Target Your Blog And Insert Your Visitor's Actual Geo Location Anywhere On Your Blogs - Resulting In A Massive Boost In Conversions and Revenue!
The Logo Creator SoftwareThe Logo Creator is a software product for both Mac and Windows. It creates logos, page headers, web graphics and SO much more!
YourTube SuperStoreLearn how to get a "Store Tab" in your YouTube channel so you can start selling products right from INSIDE your own YouTube channel as soon as tonight!
Page Expiration Robot PRO Multi-Site [WSO]PER is the ultimate conversion tool. Expire posts or pages on a visitor-by-visitor basis after a specified amount of time with intelligent countdown timers. Then redirect them to any URL.
Covert MessengerNew WordPress Plugin Lets You Easily Create Cool Intant Messenger Ads On Your Blogs - These Ads Will Suck Your Visitors In and Literally Force Them To Click On Any Link You Want!
WP LinkizerWP Linkizer automatically turns every link into your blogs content into a money making machine. It does this by split testing multiple anchor text phrases and defaulting to the phrase thats gets the highest click through rate.
SoreThumb - You Just Can't Ignore It!SoreThumb is a revolutionary new way to help you make DAMN sure that the visitors on your site take notice of your ads, your links, your call-to-actions, your opt-in-boxes, your social icons and like buttons – it’s like your own personal spotlight operato
CommentLuv Premium - Unlimited LicenseThe famous CommentLuv Premium is active on over 50,000 WordPress blogs. Finally available on JVZoo. Increase your comments, traffic and encourage visitors to share your posts. Affiliates http://ql2.me/clpaff