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Friday Funnies #42 Some Real Aussie Humour

Hey guys, did you have a great week? Sure hope the boss hasn’t been ragging you too much. Not to worry, at least the week is nearly over and when you get home you’ll be able to put your feet up, relax and read the latest edition of Friday Funnies. Heck, you may even be sticking it to the boss by reading this while you’re at work. If that’s the case make sure you don’t fall off your chair laughing because that’s going to give you away for sure.  :cheesey:

For this weeks Friday Funnies edition I thought I’d share a bit of Aussie humour with you. This joke takes place in the Northern Territory.

An outrageously Australian joke!

A Northern Territory farm hand (maybe an Irishman :tongue_laugh_ee: ) radios back to the farm manager.

‘Boss, I gotta helluva problem here. I hit a pig with the Ute.
The pig’s OK, but he’s stuck in the bull bars at the front of my Ute
And is wriggling and squealing so much I can’t get him out.’

The manager says,’Ok, there’s a .303 Rifle behind the seat.
Take it; shoot the pig in the head and you’ll be able to remove him.’

Five minutes later the farm hand calls back, ‘I did what you said
Boss. Took the 303, shot the pig in the head and removed him from the
Bull-bars. No problem there, but I still can’t go on’. Read the rest of this entry

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Friday Funnies #41 Horny Wife

It’s been a week since moving this blog to [inmotion hosting] and I have to admit I’m loving the fact that the blog loads so quickly and that I was able to keep all my plugins. Don’t worry, I’ll do a more detailed post on how the move went, why I chose them and what I think of their service. But not today, because today is Friday and you all know what that means? Yep, it’s time for me to entertain you with this weeks Friday Funnies.  :drunk_tb:

This next joke is an Aussie one and it took place at the Royal Show. I have to admit I thought the joke was pretty far fetched because it portrays a wife who wanted her husband to perform a lot more often in bed and we all know that once your married the reverse is true, isn’t that right guys?  :tongue_laugh_ee: Anyway, here’s the joke, you guys decide for yourself.

BE CAREFUL WHAT U SAY TO YOUR WIFE!

My wife and I went to the Royal Show and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls.. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, Read the rest of this entry

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Friday Funnies #40, Babies Rap Pastor’s Ass et al

Hey guys, did you miss me? You do know of course that if you were part of my list you would have know exactly why I’ve been missing the last few days and why there was no Friday’s Funnies last week. What’s that? You still want to know what happened and how come the blog is loading so much faster? Well, I reckon you’re just going to have to wait until my next post for that information  :tongue_laugh_ee:

Before I get on with the Friday Funnies post I want to wish all my friends in the States a happy Thanksgiving and now on with the Friday Funnies post, and believe me, you’re going to love this one because I’ve worked extra hard to make up for missing out on last weeks post.

 The Pastor’s Ass

The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.

The next day the local paper read:

PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next issue of the local paper’s headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey. The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. Read the rest of this entry

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Friday Funnies #39 Best For Laughs

Man, I can’t believe how fast that week went. I hope you guys had a great week and that you had time to read my posts this week. In case you didn’t you may be interested to see who won the free hosting package and more importantly you will want to read my post on how to lower your bounce rate. If you only have time for one more post to read then the one on lowering your bounce rate is one you don’t want to miss out on.

But today is Friday and that means the weekend is just around the corner and what we all need after a hard weeks work is a bit of light humour to get us off on the right start and the best way to do that is with a dose of Friday Funnies!  :drunk_tb:

Symbolic Meaning Of The Indian Headdress?

Have you ever wondered what the feathers in an Indian’s headdress stood for?

 A female reporter, interviewing an American Indian Chief, asked the significance of the varied number of feathers in Indian headdresses.

“Feathers show number of sexual partners,” the chief replied.Indian Headress

Pointing to a nearby young brave, he continued, “Him? One woman, one feather. Him?”, pointing to a second, older man, “Three women, three feathers.”

The reporter looked at the Chief’s headdress. “But you have so many feathers!”

The Chief proudly slapped his chest. “Me Chief. Sleep with all women. Big, small, fat, tall.”

Horrified, the female reporter said, “You ought to be hung!”

The Chief said, “Damn right. Me hung big like buffalo, long like snake.”

The offended reporter said, “You don’t have to be hostile!” Read the rest of this entry

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