Dating In The 60’s Friday Funnies #202

As Friday rocks up once again it’s time for me to entertain you with another Friday Funnies. Today’s Friday Funnies takes us back to the sixties. We’ve probably have all had that awkward moment when picking up a girl for a date only to get the third degree from the mother. Well, I think you will find this Dating In The 60’s story pretty funny.

Dating In The 60’s Bad Advice

It   was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1960, and James had a date  with Annabella.dating in the 60's
He  arrived at her house and rang the bell…

‘Oh,  come on in!’ Annabella’s mother said as she welcomed James.  ‘Have  a seat in the sitting room. Would you like something to  drink? Lemonade?  Tea?’

‘Tea,  please,’ James said. Mum  brought the tea.

‘So, what are you and Annabella planning to do  tonight?’ she asked interestedly.

‘Oh,  probably go to the flicks  and then maybe  grab a bite to eat at the coffee bar, perhaps have a walk  on the beach afterwards.’

‘Annabella  likes to screw, you know,’  Mum informed him.

‘Really?’ James gasped, surprised to say the least.

‘Oh yes,’ mother continued, ‘When she goes out with her friends,  that’s all they do!’

‘Is that so?’ asked James,  incredulously.

‘Oh  yes,’she said.

‘As a matter of fact, she’d screw all night if we let  her!’

‘Phew!  Well, thanks for the tip!’ James  said as he  began thinking about alternative plans for  the evening.

A moment  later, Annabella  came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture,  wearing a pink blouse and a hoop skirt and with her hair tied back in a bouncy  ponytail. She greeted James..

‘Have fun, kids!’ mother said as  they left.

Half an hour later, a completely dishevelled Annabella  burst into the house and slammed the front door behind  her.

The Twist, Mum!’  she yelled angrily to her mother in the kitchen.  ‘The  bloody dance is called the . . .. Twist!’

Wanting more laughs? Check out my sports jokes.

 

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Traffic Controller Funnies Friday Funnies #201

Yep, it’s time for another Friday Funnies, Friday Funnies #201. For todays Friday Funnies I thought I would do something completely different, traffic controller funnies. That is funny stuff that happens in the life of air traffic controllers.

traffic controller funniesAir Traffic Controller To Pilot

An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communication with a small twin engine aircraft. A moment later the tower land line rang and was answered by one of the employees.

Bob was riding with the pilot who lost communications was on a cellular phone and yelled: “Mayday, mayday!! The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack. I grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and he had told me before we took off he had the tower on his speed dial memory. I am flying upside down at 18,000 feet and traveling at 180 mph. Mayday, mayday!!”

The employee in the tower had put him on speaker phone immediately. “Calm down, we acknowledge you and we’ll guide you down after a few questions. The first thing is not to panic, remain calm!!”.

He began his series of questions:

Tower : ” How do you know you are traveling at 18,000 feet?”

Aircraft: “I can see that it reads 18,000 feet on the Altimeter Dial in front of me.”

Tower: “Okay, that’s good, remain calm. How do you know you’re traveling at 180 mph?”

Aircraft: “I can see that it reads 180 mph on the Airspeed dial in front of me.”

Tower: Okay, this is great so far, but it’s heavily overcast, so how do you know you’re flying upside down?”

Aircraft: “The crap in my pants is running out of my shirt collar.”

I just did not expect that and I totally understand how that bloke must have felt. I can also imagine the air traffic controller rolling on the floor laughing.  :lol_tb:

I hope you enjoyed this weeks Friday Funnies. Don’t forget to share it with your friends to brighten their day. Also, if you’re looking for more jokes there’s always my sports jokes  :thumbup_ee:

 

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Ranch Jokes Friday Funnies #200


Ranch Jokes that make people laugh. I came across some of these ranch jokes in my email the other day and they got me laughing so loudly that I had to include them in this weeks Friday Funnies. Seeing as how todays Friday Funnies is the 200th post of Friday Funnies I wanted it to be especially funny. I hope you find these ranch jokes as funny as I did.

A Female Ranch Jokes That Will Floor You

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher’s widow said to the hired hand, “You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick  your heels.” The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o’clock came, however, and he didn’t return.

Two o’clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher’s widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.

“Unbutton my blouse and take it off,” she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed. “Now take off my boots.”

He did as she asked, ever so slowly. “Now take off my socks.”

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

“Now take off my skirt.”

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

“Now take off my bra.” Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said, “If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you’re fired.”

For our second ranch joke I thought it only fitting that Sexy Sals thrills us with another of her hilarious blonde jokes.

ranch jokes Sexy Sals blonde jokes

Next we go to Montana for our final ranch jokes.

Old ranch owner John farmed a small ranch in Montana.  The Montana Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his workers and sent an agent out to interview him.

‘I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,’ demanded the agent.

‘Well,’ replied old John, ‘There’s my ranch hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 a week plus free room and board. Then there’s the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night.’

‘That’s the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit,’ says the agent.

‘That would be me,’ replied old rancher John.

Don’t be shy now, leave a comment telling us which of the jokes was your favourite.

I hope you enjoyed this weeks Friday Funnies. Don’t forget to have a great weekend and to visit my sports jokes category for more funny jokes

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