Hey guys welcome to this weeks Friday Funnies. Technically it’s Saturday over here Down Under but I post this with the knowledge that its Friday somewhere out there.  :tongue_laugh_ee:

This weeks Friday Funnies is all about beautiful women and how they can get us blokes into trouble.

Beautiful Women Getting Men In Trouble

Please hold my e-mails for a while. I am in hospital. I was badly attacked by a woman in an elevator. A witness got her photo. See below. figer down big1

beautiful women

I was in the elevator when she got in. I was casually staring at her boobs when she said, “Would you please press “1”?”

I did…and I don’t remember much afterwards, but I guess I pushed the wrong one!

 I May be out of the hospital in a few days.

 What makes this especially funny for me is that it actually happened to a friend of mine some time again. He was waking into a supermarket when he almost bumped into one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen. Not only was she beautiful but she had this huge set of tits. The way he explained it to me was he was just staring at them and thinking to himself, “Are they for real?” The problem was he was actually thinking out loud and this busty beautiful woman didn’t appreciate it one little bit and slapped him.  :lol_tb:  

The next image shows you just how much women differ from men in the way they think. This is for all women, it doesn’t matter if they’re beautiful women or just plain Jane.

how beautiful women think

There are two main differences and one similarity. The main difference is the woman’s poem is wordy where the man’s is short and to the point. They’re similar in that they’re both highly unlikely to occur.

That’s it for another Friday Funnies. I sure hope you enjoyed it. Perhaps enough to share it with your social media friends. :wink_ee:

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50 Shades Of Grey Friday Funnies #151

Have you ever heard of 50 Shades Of Grey? Apparently it’s a erotic romance novel by British Author E.L. James. I’ve never read it but I hear it was really popular. I reckon what made 50 Shades Of Grey so popular had more to do with the erotica than it did with the romance side of it.

That’s why I got a little excited when I got this short version of 50 Shades Of Grey in my email.

Short Version Of 50 Shades Of Grey

Back and forth . . . . back and forth . . . .
In and out . . . . in and out . . . .
A little to the right . . . . a little to the left . . . .
She could feel the sweat on her forehead . . . .
Between her breasts . . . . and, trickling down the small of her back . . . .
She was getting near to the end . . . . !!
He was in ecstasy . . . . with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved . . . . Forwards then backwards . . . .
Forward then backward . . . .
Again . . . . and, again . . . . !!
Her heart was pounding now . . . .
Her face was flushed . . . .
She moaned . . . . softly at first, then began to groan louder . . . .
Finally . . . . totally exhausted . . . .  she let out a piercing scream . . . .
She shouted . . . .

“OK, OK, you smug bastard, I can’t parallel park . . . .
You do it . . . . !!”

Not quite what you expected was it?  :tongue_laugh_ee: Short of reminded me of this poem about a another passionate encounter I wrote about some time ago.

50 Shades Of Grey

 I found the little meme about 50 Shades Of Grey on the internet that I thought was quite fitting for this post. I reckon there may be some truth to it too. :wink_ee:

To finish off this weeks Friday Funnies I’m going to give you a bit of childhood innocence. I found it cute and funny.

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.

As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, ‘The tooth fairy will never believe this!’

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A Woman’s Revenge Friday Funnies #149

I found this next story about a woman’s revenge quite amusing. It’s not just any woman either, it was the mother of a bride. I’m sure if you’re of the female persuasion you will appreciate this story.

A Woman’s Revenge At The Wedding

Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parent’s nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother! Jennifer asked her father’s new young wife to exchange it, but she refused.

Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, And I’m wearing it, she replied.

Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ”Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.”

 A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ”Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.”

 Her mother just smiled and replied, ”Of course I do, dear… I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night BEFORE the wedding.”

Yep, a woman’s revenge alright! Man, women can be just bitches  :devil_tb:

While we’re talking about women, I found this little piece where a woman is compared to a phone.

Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected!

Or how about the one where they compare women to angels.

Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings….We simply continue to fly …. on a broomstick…..We are flexible like that.

Somehow I don’t think it was a woman who came up with that one  :tongue_laugh_ee:

And, have you ever wondered about all those cravings that pregnant women get?

A woman's revenge

That’s it for this weeks Friday Funnies. Have a great weekend.

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