Just Joking Around Friday Funnies #157

It’s time for another Friday Funnies and for this edition I thought I would try a series of jokes and so I called this post Just Joking Around,

Just Joking Around #1

This first joke is about a wife who’s decided she’s better off leaving her husband and taking up the oldest profession, that of a prostitute.  :tongue_laugh_ee:

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, “What are you doing?”

She answers, “I’m moving to Nevada!  I heard that prostitutes there get paid $400.00 for what I’m doing for YOU for FREE!”

Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.

When she asks him where he’s going, he replies, “I’m coming, too. I want to see how you live on $800.00 a year.”

Just Joking Around #2 

This next one is a good one too.

Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around Walmart when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy,”Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

The young guy says, “That’s OK, it’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.”

The old guy says, “Well, maybe I can help you find her. what does she look like?”

The young guy says, “Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom…wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?’

To which the old guy says, “Doesn’t matter, let’s look for yours.

And you know what? I bet the old guy wasn’t joking around either.  :lol_ee:

And for my last bit of just joking around I have a little Irish humour for you.

Just Joking Around Irish Humour

That’s it for this weeks Friday Funnies folks. As always don’t forget to share it with your mates. :wink:

Two Blonde Genies Friday Funnies #156

Two Blonde Genies Grant Three Wishes

two blonde genies

Blondes come in many shape and forms. Probably the most famous blonde genie would have to be Barbara Eden in the I dream of Genie Series, speaking of which you can actually buy the I Dream of Jeannie: The Complete Series.

If you remember that series you would know that she was a typical blonde. That brings to todays Friday Funnies about two blonde genies.

A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes.

The guy makes his three wishes and the two blonde genies disappear. The next thing the guy knows, he’s in a bedroom, in a mansion surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house.

Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the floor is covered in $100 bills.

Then, there’s a knock at the door. . . He answers it and standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he’s dead.

As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods; it’s the two blonde genies.

One blonde genie says to the other one,” I can understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire. But why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me.”

I don’t know about you but I wasn’t prepared for that punchline at all.

Hope you liked this weeks Friday Funnies about two blonde genies. If you did why not share it with your friends.

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American In China Friday Funnies #155


Hey guys, welcome to another Friday Funnies. I like to think that every joke I publish on Friday Funnies is a great one. Still, every now and again, I come across one that is so funny it just makes me really laugh out loud. The one you are about to read now is one of those so hang onto your seat so that you don’t fall off laughing.  :cool:

It’s all about an American in China who likes getting his rocks off without using protection. I’m sure though that this dilemma affects so many more nationalities and not just one particular American in China.

Exploits Of An American In China

While in China, an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.

Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.

The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, “I’ve got bad news for you, you’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here in the US; we know very little about it.”

The man looks a little perplexed and says, “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.”

The doctor answers, “I’m sorry, there’s no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate your penis.”

The man screams in horror, “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!!”

The doctor replies, “Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only option.”

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he’ll know more about the disease.

The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, “Ah, yes, Mongolian VD.

Vewy ware disease.”

The guy says to the doctor, “Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut off my penis!”

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. “Stupid American docttah, always want opawate. Make more money dat way. No need amputate!”

“Oh, thank Goodness!” the man exclaims.

“Yes,” says the Chinese doctor. “Wait two week. Fawl off by itself!”

And the moral of this story of course is to always wear protection because you don’t want to go through what that American in China did :wink:

Sexy Sals blond joke found on an  American In China

That’s it guys, sure hope you enjoyed it. If you’re looking for more laughs have a read of my latest sports joke.

 

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