Humour For Friday Funnies #191

Everybody loves a bit of humour and that’s exactly what makes Friday Funnies so popular. I never would have thought that I would have kept Friday Funnies going for so long. But people keep coming back for it and my regulars implore me to keep the good humour coming. I don’t blame them either because a good belly laugh is good for moral and that’s what good humour is all about.

The thing with jokes is that you need a good sense of humour to see the funny side of some jokes. Unfortunately not everybody has a good sense of humour. There are times when even you can be lacking a sense of humour. If there is a time when you’re not laughing when everybody else is maybe you should try an look at what just happened at a different angle. Maybe then you will get the joke. I reckon they should teach humour in school. Maybe if people could see the funny side of things we wouldn’t have all the crap going on in the world that we do today.

But that’s enough waffle, lets get to this weeks bit of humour shall we?

Humour That Makes You Smile

An old Australian priest lay dying. He sent a message for an Australian Tax Office supervisor and his lawyer to come to the hospital. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his room. As they entered the room, the priest held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The priest grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling.

For a time, no one said anything. Both the Australian Tax Office supervisor
and the lawyer were touched and flattered that the old man would ask them to be with him during his final moments, however they were also puzzled because the priest had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.

Finally, the lawyer asked, “Father, why did you ask the two of us to come here?”

The old priest mustered all his strength, and then whispered weakly…“Jesus died between two thieves, and that’s how I’d like to go”.

So tell me, did your sense of humour kick in when you read that joke?

Some business people have a sense of humour too. I reckon some businesses force them to develop a sense of humour just to keep from going nuts. Here are some funny signs business entrepreneurs have come up with.

business humour

I reckon the next bit of humour is really up with the times.

More humour

This next one is a classic!  :tongue_laugh_ee:

push pull hunmour
I sure hope you got a kick out of this weeks Friday Funnies. Don’t forget to share it with your friends.  :drunk_tb: Of course if your looking for more jokes you can visit my Sports Joke section.

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Funny Blonde Jokes Friday Funnies #190

It’s been awhile since I’ve included any funny blonde jokes for Friday Funnies so this weeks Friday Funnies is dedicated to funny Blonde jokes.

More Funny Blonde Jokes

The first funny blonde joke happens in a bar.

The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the blonde woman’s boobs and splashes all over them. The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her boobs.

This happens every time the blonde calls for another beer. So after the third beer, a guy decides to help the bartender out. The next time the bartender hit her boobs, the man jumps up and starts to lick her breasts. She decks him!

He is lying on the floor moaning, ‘Jeez, lady… Why do you let the bartender do it and not me?’

“Helloooo!”, says the blonde. ‘He has a licker license!’

I reckon you’ll get a kick out of the next in the funny blonde jokes series.

A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from the Gold Coast in Australia when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, ‘Are you going to the Gold Coast?’

‘Sure,’ answered the blonde, ‘do you need a lift ?’

‘Not for me. I’ll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I’ve got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the Gold Coast Zoo. They’re a bit stressed already so I don’t want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me ? I’ll give you $100 for your trouble.’

‘I’d be happy to,’ said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde’s car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.

Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of the Gold Coast when suddenly he was horrified!! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. ‘What the heck are you doing here ?’ he demanded, ‘I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo.’

‘Yes, I know you did,’ said the blonde,’ but we had money left over — so now we’re going to SeaWorld.  :lol_ee:

Sexy Sals Funny Blonde Joke

Of course it would be a funny blonde jokes series without some input from our own Sexy Sals. Without further ado I give you Sexy Sals latest in her funny blonde jokes series.

funny blonde jokes from Sexy Sal

Hope you’ve enjoyed this weeks funny blonde jokes. Don’t forget to share it with your friends and remember theres always more funny jokes on my sports site.

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Cowboy Jokes Friday Funnies #189

I thought I would give you a couple of cowboy jokes for this weeks Friday Funnies.

Funny Cowboy Jokes

This first cowboy joke is about a mean gunslinger that doesn’t like old ladies.

An old woman walked up and tied her old mule to the hitching post. As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed. “Hey old woman, have you ever danced?”

The old woman looked at the gunslinger and said, “No….I never did dance….never really wanted to.”

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, “Well, you old bag, you’re going to dance now,” and started shooting at the old woman’s feet.

The old woman prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around. Everybody was laughing! When the last bullet had fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old woman turned to her pack mule and pulled out a double barrelled shotgun. She cocked both hammers, the loud click carrying clearly through the desert air. The crowd had stopped laughing as the loud clicks reverberated around the now quiet street. The young gunslinger also heard the hammers as they locked into place. He turned very slowly and faced the old woman.

The silence almost deafening as the crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old woman, the large gaping holes of the twin barrelled shotgun aimed squarely at his chest. Those barrels never wavered as the old woman quietly said, “Son, have you ever kissed a mule’s ass?”

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, “No ma’am….but I’ve always wanted to.”

There are five lessons here for all of us.

1- Never be arrogant.
2 – Don’t waste ammunition.
3 – Whiskey makes you think you’re smarter than you are.
4 – Always make sure you know who has the power.
5 – Don’t mess with old women; they didn’t get old by being stupid!!!

Our next in the cowboy jokes series is more of a sexual nature.  :devil_tb:

cowboy jokesAnd so ends another Friday Funnies. Sure hope you liked those cowboy jokes. Don’t forget to share then with your friends. Don’t forget where you can always read some really funny sports jokes.

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