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Funny Surgeon Jokes Friday Funnies #221

For this weeks Friday Funnies I thought I would dedicate to a couple of really funny surgeon jokes.

Funny Surgeon Jokes About Toronto Surgeons

Three Toronto surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.

funny surgeon jokesOne of them said, “I’m the best surgeon in Ontario. In my favourite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident. I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.

The second surgeon said. “That’s nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident. I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold Medal in track and field events in the Olympics.

The third surgeon said, “You guys are amateurs”. Several years ago a man was high on cocaine and marijuana and he rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the man’s blonde hair and the Horse’s ass. I was able to put them together and now he’s running for President of the U.S.A!”

What makes this really funny is that you can totally relate it to the not so funny up and coming American election campaign for president.

Next we have a group of five surgeons discussion which profession is the best to operate on.

The five surgeons are discussing who are the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon said, “I like operating on accountants because when you open them up, everything inside them are numbered.”

The second responded, “Nah, you should try electricians! When I open them up I find that everything inside them is colour coded.”

The third surgeon said, “I reckon librarians are the best because everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

The fourth surgeon chimed in, “Personally, I like construction workers because they always understand when you have a few parts left over in the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.”

It was the fifth surgeon shut them all up with this observation, “You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no spine and the head and butt are interchangeable.”

I reckon the fifth surgeon got it right and I just had to include this in my Funny Surgeon Jokes.

Finally, a Funny Surgeon Jokes image.

really funny surgeon jokes

That’s it for this weeks Friday Funnies! Of course you know you can always get more laughs from my really funny sports jokes.

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Funny Stuff Friday Funnies #220

As the week comes to another close I look forward to posting another Friday Funnies. Last weeks Friday Funnies  was all about Sexy Sals Blonde Jokes. I’m hoping that this weeks ‘Funny Stuff’ post will turn out to be just as popular. If you enjoyed this weeks Funny Stuff post feel free to send it viral by sharing it on your favourite social media.

Funny Stuff To Make You Smile/Laugh

My first bit of funny stuff is about a lot of the stuff we have to put up with in the 21st Century/


Our Phones ~ Wireless
Cooking ~ Fireless
Cars ~ Keyless
Food ~ Fatless
Tires ~ Tubeless
Dress ~ Sleeveless
Youth ~ Jobless
Leaders ~ Shameless
Relationships~ Meaningless
Attitude ~ Careless
Wives ~ Fearless
Babies ~ Fatherless
Feelings ~ Heartless
Education ~ Valueless
Children ~ Mannerless
Everything is becoming LESS
In fact we are ~ speechless
Our Government is ~ Clueless

but our hopes are~ Endless.

What makes this little bit of funny stuff is that a lot of it is so true and if you really think about it, some of the points made are a little sad.

Now for some Irish Funny Stuff!more funny stuff irish jokes

Funny Stuff Irish Jokes

I really like the next bit of funny stuff.

funny stuff mad wife

Our next bit of funny stuff involves and old couple in church. I love this one.  :tongue_laugh_ee:

old age funny stuff

Next our funny stuff takes us back home where a grandson questions his grand mother.

dragon funny stuff

Before presenting my last funny piece, something that I know you’re going to love, I want to point out that all the images on this post were created with the aid of The Creator,

And so, for our final piece of Friday Funnies….

Baby’s First Doctor Visit

A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the
baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

‘Breast-fed,’ she replied…

‘Well, strip down to your waist,’ the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination. Motioning to her to get
dressed, the doctor said, ‘No wonder this baby is underweight. You don’t have any milk.’

‘I know,’ she said, ‘I’m his Grandma, but I’m glad I came.’

Have a great weekend guys and don’t forget to share this post with friends and family.

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Funny Stories Friday Funnies #218

Friday Funnies funny storiesWe all love funny stories don’t we? I know I do and I’m sure a lot of you out there love funny stories as well.

Apparently this is a true story and happened at a New York Airport.

As far as funny stories go this is hilarious.

I reckon an award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in New York for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.

For all of you out there who have had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you.

Funny Stories At The Airport

A crowded United Airlines flight was cancelled.

A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.

Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said,

“I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS.”

The agent replied, “I’m sorry, sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but I’ve got to help these folks first; and then I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.”

The passenger was unimpressed.

He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear,


Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone.

“May I have your attention, please?”, she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal..

“We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him with his identity, please come to Gate 14.”

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United Airlines agent, gritted his teeth, and said, “F*** You!” Without flinching, she smiled and said, “I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to get in line for that, too.”

Don’t you just hate people like that bloke and don’t you just love those that know how to put them  in their place? I know I do.

Please help to brighten someone else’s day by sharing this post. Also, if you want more laughs you’ll love some of the best sport jokes.

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Funny Side Of Lies Friday Funnies #217

Funny Side Of Lies Why We Shouldn’t Lie

Everyone knows you shouldn’t lie because lies can get you into trouble, as this next story shows.

We were dressed and ready to go out for a dinner and theatre evening. We turned on a ‘night light’, turned on the answering machine, covered our pet parrot, and put the cat in the backyard.
We phoned the local taxi company and requested a cab. The taxi arrived, and we opened the front door to leave the house.

As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard scooted back into the house. We didn’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to get at the parrot. My wife walked on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat.

The cat ran upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, my wife didn’t want the driver to know that the house would be empty for the night, so she explained to the taxi driver that I would be out soon. “He’s just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother.”

A few minutes later, I got into the cab. “Sorry I took so long,” I said, as we drove away. “That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out. She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked, so I hauled her downstairs and threw her out into the backyard. She’d better not shit in the vegetable garden again!”

The silence in the taxi was deafening.

Just to add to the funny side of lies I put this together using the creator :tongue_laugh_ee:

funny side of lies

And finally, something else that I put together with the Creator

bullshitting jokesthat has nothing to do with the funny side of lies

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