Old Geezer Joke

I’ve done a few old geezer jokes, although I didn’t refer to them as old geezer jokes. Nope, I was more respectful and referred to them as elderly or something. For the purpose of this post they’re old geezer joke just in case someone searches for ‘Old Geezer joke’. :wink_ee:

Medical Old Geezer Joke

old geezer jokeA local G.P., now an old geezer, became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said:

“Dr. Geezer’s clinic.
Get your treatment for £500, if not cured, get back £1,000.”

Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get £1,000. So he went to Dr.Geezer’s clinic.

Dr. Young: “Dr.Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?”

Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”

Dr. Young: Aaagh! — “This is Gasoline!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be £500.”

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr. Young: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”

Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”

Dr. Young: “Oh, no you don’t, – that is Gasoline!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be £500.”

Dr. Young (after having lost £1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak – I can hardly see anything!

Dr. Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so here’s your £1000 back..” (giving him a £10 note)”

Dr. Young: “But this is only £10!

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be £500.”

Moral of story – Just because you’re “Young” doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an “old Geezer”!

Don’t try it on with old people!

We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off.

That’s something that is common in all my old geezer jokes, these geezers have lived a long time and learned a lot of shit, so don’t piss them off  :peace_bro:

Want more jokes, visit my funny sports jokes.

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Funny Technology Moments

Funny Technology Moments That Make You Smile

Don’t you just love people with a sense of humour? I sure do. Like those guys that have nothing better to do than to create these funny technology moments images. I got these funny technology moments images in an email titled “Life In 2016” What makes these images so funny is that most of us can actually relate to them. Then again maybe that should make us a little sad?  :ponder:

ATT0001212 Funny Technology 2 Funny Technology 3 Funny Technology 4 Funny Technology 5 Funny Technology 6 Funny Technology 7 Funny Technology 8 Funny Technology 9 Funny Technology 10I love these images and I wanted to add one of my own, something I put together using The Creator, my favourite bit of software.

Funny Technology Social Media

Yep, we live in a marvellous world, a world where technology has taken us to places that would never have been dreamed of years ago. Stuff like cheap smart watches for example. A lot of the remarkable stuff we have is because of programmers. They must really be pretty smart as the following story proves…

A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.

After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word.

The grandmother is thinking to herself, “It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I’m glad she slapped him.”

The Project manager is sitting there thinking, “I didn’t know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn’t missed him when she slapped me!”

The young woman was sitting and thinking, “I’m glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!”

The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, “Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at the same time!”

And so ends another Friday Funnies. Sure hope you got a kick out of it. Perhaps you enjoyed it so much you’d like to share it on FaceBook or something? Heck, you might even want to tell some passerby.  :drunk_tb:

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Funny Surgeon Jokes Friday Funnies #221

For this weeks Friday Funnies I thought I would dedicate to a couple of really funny surgeon jokes.

Funny Surgeon Jokes About Toronto Surgeons

Three Toronto surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.

funny surgeon jokesOne of them said, “I’m the best surgeon in Ontario. In my favourite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident. I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.

The second surgeon said. “That’s nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident. I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold Medal in track and field events in the Olympics.

The third surgeon said, “You guys are amateurs”. Several years ago a man was high on cocaine and marijuana and he rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the man’s blonde hair and the Horse’s ass. I was able to put them together and now he’s running for President of the U.S.A!”

What makes this really funny is that you can totally relate it to the not so funny up and coming American election campaign for president.

Next we have a group of five surgeons discussion which profession is the best to operate on.

The five surgeons are discussing who are the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon said, “I like operating on accountants because when you open them up, everything inside them are numbered.”

The second responded, “Nah, you should try electricians! When I open them up I find that everything inside them is colour coded.”

The third surgeon said, “I reckon librarians are the best because everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

The fourth surgeon chimed in, “Personally, I like construction workers because they always understand when you have a few parts left over in the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.”

It was the fifth surgeon shut them all up with this observation, “You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no spine and the head and butt are interchangeable.”

I reckon the fifth surgeon got it right and I just had to include this in my Funny Surgeon Jokes.

Finally, a Funny Surgeon Jokes image.

really funny surgeon jokes

That’s it for this weeks Friday Funnies! Of course you know you can always get more laughs from my really funny sports jokes.

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