Anyway, as a special treat for all my video fans I decided to produce a new video and have just uploaded it to YouTube, but before we get to that I want to share my joke with you. It’s a pretty long one but I assure you it’s well worth the read.

Buying A Condom For The First Time

OK, now what you have all been waiting for, my latest video. It’s all about the trials and tribulations of a young man who has a hot date and needs to buy some condoms, or as we call them over here, frangers.

Well, that’s it. If you liked this post don’t forget to share it with your friends by using the social media buttons on the left side of the post. Oh, and just in case you’re in the mood for more jokes and dont’ want to wait to next week, here are a couple of great joke books for you.

Jokelopedia: The Biggest, Best, Silliest, Dumbest Joke Book Ever Average Rating: 20 total customer reviews...

Laughter the Best Medicine: A Laugh-Out-Loud Collection of our Funniest Jokes, Quotes, Stories & Cartoons(Reader's Digest) Average Rating: 10 total customer reviews...

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To test the theory I’ve decided to go back to three posts a week to see if it will improve my Alexa ranking. As I’m still pretty strapped for time and because I get a lot of funny emails I’ve decided to a series of posts called Friday Funnies, and yes I will be posting every Friday, which will probably the most regular thing in my life

Friday Funnies #1 One For The Women

Housework was a woman’s job, but one evening, Janice arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer Dinner was on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished!

It turns out that Chuck had read an article that said, ‘Wives who work full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex’.

The night went very well. The next day, Janice told her Red Hat friends all about it. ‘We had a great dinner. Chuck even cleaned up the kitchen. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away. I really enjoyed the evening.’

‘But what about afterward?’ asked her friends.

‘Oh, that………. Chuck was too tired.’

God is good.

OK, I’m assuming that most women would have found that joke to be funny but as a bloke I can honestly say I wasn’t all that amused, the reason being that as a bloke I know that when it comes to sex we are never that tired. I bet if that housewife turned over in bed and grabbed Chuck’s old fella he would be up and raring to go.

Friday Funnies #2  Xmas Post Office

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.

One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read:

Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.

Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?

Sincerely, Edna

The postal worker was touched.. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds.

By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.

The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went.

A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.

All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read:

Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?

Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.

By the way, there was £4 missing.

I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.

Sincerely, Edna

I don’t know about you but I sure as heck wasn’t expecting that and that made it funny.

Send me an email if you have any posts that you think is funny and if I like it I’ll link to it in the next Friday Funnies post. Until then here are some funny books and stuff that you may enjoy.

God Does Have a Sense of Humor Average Rating: 34 total customer reviews...

When My Mind Wanders It Brings Back Souvenirs Average Rating: 7 total customer reviews...

The Women's Daily Irony Supplement Average Rating: 19 total customer reviews...

Kevin Hart: Laugh At My Pain Average Rating: 23 total customer reviews...

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Anyway, after he last few posts where I introduced you to the best ever WordPress comment system, a brand new Social Network system and a plugin that improved the quality of comments that you’ve been getting I’ve decided to make this post a fun one, one that will entertain you and hopefully put a smile on your face.

For The Love Of Mrs. Brown Video

Now this video really cracked me up, but I have to warn you it does use the F word as well talk about stuff of a sexual nature but given all that it is bloody hilarious.

Mrs Brown's Boys : Series 1 (2 Discs) | DVD Multi Region Version Average Rating: 3 total customer reviews...

Have you calmed down yet? Perhaps you would be interested to know what the world was like when you were born? Obviously it was vastly different from what we’re experiencing today, This link will show you what the world was like on the year you were born. Speaking about days gone by, here’s a joke about dating way back in 1958, the year that I was born!

Peggy Sue In 1958

Dating in 1958

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1958 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.  He arrived at her house and rang the bell.

“Oh, come on in!” Peggy Sue’s mother said as she welcomed Fred in.   “Have a seat in the living room.  Would you like something to drink?  Lemonade?   Iced tea?”

“Iced tea, please,” Fred said.  Mom brought the iced tea.

“So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?” she asked.

“Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop, maybe take a walk on the beach…”

“Peggy likes to screw, you know,” Mom informed him.

“Uh…really?” Fred replied, with raised eyebrows.

“Oh, yes!” the mother continued.  “When she goes out with her friends, that’s all they do!”

“Is that so?” asked Fred, incredulous.

“Yes,” said the mother.  “As a matter of fact, she’d screw all night if we let her!”

“Well, thanks for the tip,” Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.

A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture wearing a pink blouse and hoop skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail.  She greeted Fred.

“Have fun, kids,” the mother said as they left.

Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house and slammed the front door behind her.

“The Twist, Mom!” she angrily yelled to her mother in the kitchen.  “The damned dance is called the Twist!

Now it’s something for the boys. I’ve done several post taking the mickey out of women, like Women & The All About Me Syndrome and maybe even the time when I rewrote the Lyrics to Roy Orbison’s Mean Woman Blues calling It Wassup’s Mean Woman’s Blues. You may even remember the funny video I made of the best ever pick-up line? Well, this next video is for all those blokes who find their eyes straying to a woman’s ample cleavage when they should be making eye contact. Come on guys I know you’ve all been caught doing that at one time or another.

What To Do When Caught Staring At A Woman’s Breasts

The problem is that in real life it doesn’t matter how accurate the logic is you use to make a point it just won’t wash when used against a woman  Just kidding ladies, you know I luvs ya 

I sometimes try to relate my posts to blogging in some way, whether it’s a blogging tip or simply by means of highlighting a particular point. Not this time though. This time it’s just for the sheer joy of presenting it to you in the hope that you will get some enjoyment from it. If you should take anything at all from it I hope its that you enjoy your blogging because everyone knows it’s those who enjoy what they do who do well at it. 

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That post is nearly three years old which means this next video has been a long time coming. Before we get to that I want to tell you that I plan to do a whole series of these videos. Why do you ask? That’s a fair question and basically it’s because I want to see if I can gain a YouTube following. I’ve already got a small following when it comes to blogging, something that continues to amaze me and I’m just wondering if I can do the same thing with YouTube.

Naturally if that turns out to be successful it will have a natural flow on effect that will build my online presence. To achieve that I’m planning a series of me telling different jokes. They say when blogging you should choose a subject that you’re passionate about and I see no reason why YouTube should be any different. I love telling jokes, I’ve learnt a fair few of them over the years and it seems only natural that I share them with people using YouTube as the medium.

Make Money With YouTube Resources

The YouTube Money Machine- How To Make Money Online With YouTube Average Rating: 3 total customer reviews...

How to Make Money with YouTube: Earn Cash, Market Yourself, Reach Your Customers, and Grow Your Business on the World's Most Popular Video-Sharing Site Average Rating: 11 total customer reviews...

YouTube and Video Marketing: An Hour a Day Average Rating: 4 total customer reviews...

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It seems that Roz needed some cheering up and that post was just what she needed. I thought that being Monday in this side of the world and how all you guys on the other side would be facing Monday soon and therefore could also do with a bit of cheering up. But before we get to the fun part of the post I want to a quick wrap up of the last five posts.

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Image by cindy47452 via Flickr

Damn if things aren’t getting a little too serious around here lately. We’ve had the post My Blog Was Hacked And What I Did About It where I told you all about getting hacked and how I got around it.Then almost immediately I was forced to do a followup post called Put A Firewall Up To Protect Your Blog From Attacks something that I urge everyone to read, nay not just read but to follow my lead and to tell everyone else about it as well.

Then there was the 11-Inch MacBook Air Review and before that I divulged what Affiliates I was using to make money in What Affiliates To Promote To Blog For Money. Well I think that is just about enough, and I’ve come to the conclusion that all work and no play makes Sire a boring old blogger. So for this post I want to do nothing more than to entertain you. Some of you who have been following my tweets have probably notice some links to some really funny and entertaining videos, well I can’t see any reason why my loyal readers shouldn’t get in on some of the fun.

Dancing At The Movies: I was really hoping to embed that video directly into the post but it’s not allowed so if you like the old Footloose song by Kenny Loggins you will love this video which an editing marvel incorporating some of the best dance scenes seen in the movies.

Now for a few laughs. This next clip is from an old Carol Burnett show and features a dentist sketch starring Tim Conway and Harvey Korman. It is bloody hilarious and just goes to show you don’t have to insert a whole lot of profanity in order to get your audience to laugh. I’d hate to have this guy work on me.

This next one is for the guys because it has what most guy love to see, a lovely set of exposed breasts. Check out the expressions of those lucky guys who copped an eye full.

This next one is for the ladies, and no matter what they tell you they are just as sexist as the average guy, oh well almost. They may not whistle at a good looking bloke who has muscles bulging out of his t-shirt, but they sure would like to. Then you get the ones that will tell you it’s not the size that counts, it’s how you use it. Is it, is it really ladies? Check out the look at the expression on the faces of these women when they finally get to see what this bloke is packing.

Finally, seeing as how we left off on a video that is definitely sexual in nature I thought it only fitting to promote a couple of posts from my sex blog. One is about Finding The G Spot Saga – The Elusive G Spot Location where I put forward a couple of ideas on movies that could well turn into blockbusters, as well as introducing people to the revolutionary G-Spot mouse. Then there was the post Proving To Everyone That Women Do Have A Sense Of Humor.

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Most women will say that it’s down, not surprising as that saves them the hassle of putting it down if it’s currently in the up position. Men on the other hand don’t particularly care, if it’s down those who love their wives lift it up rather than having to rely on their aim. If they remember they will place it in the down position but normally they just wander off in search of another beer. This could result in having to put up with their wife screaming at them because they failed to check before sitting down. Honestly ladies, you just have to be more observant.

You’re probably wandering what all this had to do with dofollow and nofollow? It only just came to me today during a conversation with Mitch via the comments on my post about the Top 5 Reasons That People Aren’t Advertising On Your Blog. Most people who do not want to piss Google off do not do paid ads and if they do they insist on using the nofollow attribute. Even the guys who developed WordPress built it into the code so that all links showed up as nofollow in the comment section.

To me the question is what is the natural attribute on a link, is it dofollow or is it nofollow? Unlike the toilet seat saga I believe that there is a definitive answer and that is it’s obviously  DOFOLLOW? Think about it, whenever you link to a site it is automatically a DOFOLLOW link, you have to physically add the NOFOLLOW attribute to make it do something that is unnatural to it’s true being.

So, who do we blame all this confusion about what form of link one should be using? Ultimately it’s all Google’s fault, Google and the other search engines. Originally it was touted as being the savior for all the comment spam that was hitting the blogs but I personally feel it goes deeper than that. Later on we’re told that it was interfering with Google’s algorithms and how they wanted to represent a ‘purer’ search results to their users. One can only wander if that’s the absolute truth or if there is an anterior motive?

So when you are deciding which path to take when choosing between the two types of link think about the link itself and how it must feel when you force it to do something it’s not designed to do.

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I’m pretty sure that you don’t even have to be a parent to know that this is very true. How many of us have tried explaining one thing or another to one of those young whipper snappers only to come away wondering what the world is coming to if these guys are going to be taking the reigns from us in the coming years.

Anyway, this post isn’t going to be as serious as it sounded to start of with. That was merely the introduction to a funny email I just received.  I hope you enjoy it.

A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding by a young policeman…

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer : Ma’am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer : Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer : Don’t have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer : I see….Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer : Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer : Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer : You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Obviously the moral of this story is don’t Mess With Mature Ladies. Actually it’s probably not messing with any woman if you know what’s good for you.

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Then there was The Difference Between Male and Female, which showed how women and men behaved in the same circumstances, and naturally the differences were quite remarkable.

Let’s not forget There Is No Way In Hell That A Man Can Please A Woman where I attempted to show in my own Aussie way that no matter what a bloke does to make a woman happy it just doesn’t seem to go down the way it was intended.

Women & The All About Me Syndrome was an attempted satirical post where women suffered from IAAMS.  Not my most popular post but I sure did have a lot of fun with it and if I can’t have a little fun with blogging I don’t think I would be blogging today.

I reckon it’s pretty obvious though that there is a real difference in the way men and women behave and there’s not much we can really do about it if it’s all in our genes. As this video clearly shows there are preconceived paths that we must follow from the moment of conception. Let’s face it guys, and gals, it’s in our genes and there ain’t much we can do about it.

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I’m sure that there are some bloggers out there who feel that they could have been part of the Pro Blogger group if only they had been given the chance. Truth is that we’ve all got potential to be more than what we are but we don’t all utilize that potential.

I found a video that sums all this up really well and I hope you all get a real kick out of it.

If you haven’t seen any of the Vicar Of Dibley Series you don’t know what you’re missing out on. Here are a couple of DVD’s to get you started.

The Vicar of Dibley – The Complete Series 1

The Vicar of Dibley – The Complete Series 2 & the Specials

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