It’s been awhile since I’ve included any funny blonde jokes for Friday Funnies so this weeks Friday Funnies is dedicated to funny Blonde jokes.
More Funny Blonde Jokes
The first funny blonde joke happens in a bar.
The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the blonde woman’s boobs and splashes all over them. The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her boobs.
This happens every time the blonde calls for another beer. So after the third beer, a guy decides to help the bartender out. The next time the bartender hit her boobs, the man jumps up and starts to lick her breasts. She decks him!
He is lying on the floor moaning, ‘Jeez, lady… Why do you let the bartender do it and not me?’
“Helloooo!”, says the blonde. ‘He has a licker license!’
I reckon you’ll get a kick out of the next in the funny blonde jokes series.
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from the Gold Coast in Australia when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, ‘Are you going to the Gold Coast?’
‘Sure,’ answered the blonde, ‘do you need a lift ?’
‘Not for me. I’ll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I’ve got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the Gold Coast Zoo. They’re a bit stressed already so I don’t want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me ? I’ll give you $100 for your trouble.’
‘I’d be happy to,’ said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde’s car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of the Gold Coast when suddenly he was horrified!! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. ‘What the heck are you doing here ?’ he demanded, ‘I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo.’
‘Yes, I know you did,’ said the blonde,’ but we had money left over — so now we’re going to SeaWorld.
Sexy Sals Funny Blonde Joke
Of course it would be a funny blonde jokes series without some input from our own Sexy Sals. Without further ado I give you Sexy Sals latest in her funny blonde jokes series.
Hope you’ve enjoyed this weeks funny blonde jokes. Don’t forget to share it with your friends and remember theres always more funny jokes on my sports site.
I thought I would give you a couple of cowboy jokes for this weeks Friday Funnies.
Funny Cowboy Jokes
This first cowboy joke is about a mean gunslinger that doesn’t like old ladies.
An old woman walked up and tied her old mule to the hitching post. As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
The young gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed. “Hey old woman, have you ever danced?”
The old woman looked at the gunslinger and said, “No….I never did dance….never really wanted to.”
A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, “Well, you old bag, you’re going to dance now,” and started shooting at the old woman’s feet.
The old woman prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around. Everybody was laughing! When the last bullet had fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old woman turned to her pack mule and pulled out a double barrelled shotgun. She cocked both hammers, the loud click carrying clearly through the desert air. The crowd had stopped laughing as the loud clicks reverberated around the now quiet street. The young gunslinger also heard the hammers as they locked into place. He turned very slowly and faced the old woman.
The silence almost deafening as the crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old woman, the large gaping holes of the twin barrelled shotgun aimed squarely at his chest. Those barrels never wavered as the old woman quietly said, “Son, have you ever kissed a mule’s ass?”
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, “No ma’am….but I’ve always wanted to.” There are five lessons here for all of us.
1- Never be arrogant.
2 – Don’t waste ammunition.
3 – Whiskey makes you think you’re smarter than you are.
4 – Always make sure you know who has the power.
5 – Don’t mess with old women; they didn’t get old by being stupid!!!
Our next in the cowboy jokes series is more of a sexual nature.
And so ends another Friday Funnies. Sure hope you liked those cowboy jokes. Don’t forget to share then with your friends. Don’t forget where you can always read some really funny sports jokes.
There was a Friday Funnies post way back in December of 2104 about a beautiful women that centred around a gynaecologist. Just as funny situations likely occur in every profession, the case is also true for gynaecologists. Today’s Friday Funnies is going to add to those funny gynaecologist jokes.
Gynaecologist Jokes You’ll Love
Our first gynaecologist Joke is about a man who went to a Wickham Terrace Specialist in Brisbane answering an advert for a Gynaecologist Assistant. Knowing that nowadays, job advertisers aren’t able to discriminate against the applicant’s gender, he was very interested, so he went in and asked the secretary for details.
She retrieved the file and Read to him: “This job entails preparing ladies for the Gynaecologist. You will be responsible for helping them out of their underwear, laying them down and carefully washing their private areas, applying shaving foam to the necessary parts and removing all unwanted foliage, and finally, you’ll be required to rub in soothing oils, in preparation for the Gynaecologist’s examination.”
Then she told him “The annual salary is $65,000 and if you’re interested, you’ll have to go
to Gympie “.
“My goodness!”, exclaimed the man, “Is that where the job is?”.
She answered, “No , that’s where the end of the queue is…”
Most people would think that being a gynaecologist would be a pretty safe job, right? Well, like this next Gynaecologist jokes goes to show that all depends on the patient.
A biker’s hot girlfriend goes to the gynecologist for a physical. When the gyno starts examining her, it turns out she’s a nymphomaniac. Everywhere he probes or touches makes her moan suggestively. After awhile, not able to contain himself any longer, he rips off his clothes and has her right there on the examining room table.
Meanwhile, the biker get suspicious of all the commotion and barges into the room.
“What the hell are you doing?” he shouts.
“I’m–uhhh–checking her temperature,” stammers the gyno.
“OK, doc, go ahead,” growls the biker taking out his switchblade, “but if that thing doesn’t have numbers on it when you pull it out, it’s coming off!”
Naturally our gynaecologist jokes has to include a gynaecologist with a sadistic sense of humour
A woman goes to her gynaecologist who verifies that she is pregnant. As this was her first pregnancy the gynaecologist asks her if she has any questions.
She replies, “Well, I’m a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?”
The doctor answered, “Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it’s difficult to describe pain.”
“I know, but can’t you give me some idea?,” she asks.
“OK, grab your upper lip and pull it out a little…”
“A little more…”
“No. A little more…”
“Yes. Does that hurt?”
“A little bit.”
“Now stretch it over your head!”
Yeah, you just have to love those gynaecologist jokes! And so ends another Friday Funnies. Remember, make sure your friends don’t miss out by sharing this post with them.
Have a great weekend guys and don’t forget where you can find some really funny sports jokes!
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