The Deaf Bagman Friday Funnies #96

Hey, did you have a nice Christmas? I know I did and I hope you did the same. The only problem is that I had to work Friday and just didn’t have the time to write my Friday Funnies. So I’;m writing it today in the knowledge that it will be Friday somewhere around the globe  :crazy_man: Todays joke is going to feature a deaf bagman. Sure hope you like it.

The Mafia is looking for a new man to be their bagman and collect money from all the businesses they’re standing over. Feeling the heat from the police, the decide to use a deaf person for the job. They figure if he ever gets caught he won’t be able to communicate to the police what he is doing.

On his first week the deaf collector picks up over $50,000! But, he gets greedy and deciding to keep all the money stashes it in a safe place. The mafia catches up with the deaf man and want to interrogate him. Unable to communicate with him the call for the services of a sign interpreter. 

The Mafia boss says to the interpreter, “Ask him where the money is!”

The interpreter signs, “Where’s the money?”

The deaf man re[lies, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The interpreter tells the boss, “He doesn’t know what you’re talking about.”

The boss pulls out a .38 gun and places it in the ear of the deaf collector. “Now ask him where the money is.” (more…)

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The Funny Side Of Farts Friday Funnies #95

Man, have I had a busy week so far this week. Must be because Christmas is just around the corner. And I have to work the weekend too. Man, I’m not looking forward to that at all. Oh well, at least I had time to write this weeks Friday Funnies, not to mention Mondays post which is all about promoting YouTube Videos. Work aside, this weeks Friday Funnies is all about Farts. Let’s face it, farts can have it’s funny, if not smelly, moments.  :tongue_laugh_ee: So please, put your feet up, relax, leave the working week behind and enjoy this weeks Friday Funnies.

Old Farts Footy!

 An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man breaks wind and says, ‘Goal.’

His wife rolls over and says, ‘What in the world was that?’

The old man replied, ‘its fart football.’ old farts footy

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, ‘One each, scores tied”….’

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says,
‘Aha. I’m ahead 2 to 1.’

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says,
‘2- 2, scores tied.’ (more…)

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Little Johnny Jokes Friday Funnies #94

I reckon almost everyone loves those little Johnny Jokes. That’s probably why there are so many little Johnny Jokes around. That being the case I thought I would dedicate this weeks Friday funnies to Little Johnny.

What’s really funny about little Johnny is that he really does get around. This particular one has little Johnny in an English school.

Little Johnny British Style

A grade three teacher Carol is giving a lesson on nutrition, and she decides to ask her students what they had for breakfast. To add a spelling component, she asks the students to also spell their answers.

Susan puts up her hand and says she had an egg, ‘E-G-G’.

‘Very good’, says the teacher.

Peter says he had toast ‘T-O-A-S-T’.

‘Excellent.’

Johnny has his hand up and the teacher reluctantly calls on him.

‘I had bugger all’, he says, ‘ B-U-G-G-E-R-A-L-L’.

The teacher is mortified and scolds Johnny for his rude answer.

Later when the lesson turns to geography, she asks the students some rudimentary questions.

Susan correctly identifies the Capital of Canada . Peter is able to tell her which ocean is off Canada ‘s east coast. When it’s Johnny’s turn, the teacher remembers his rude answer from
the nutrition lesson, and decides to give him a very difficult question. Johnny, she asks,
‘Where is the Pakistani border?’ (more…)

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