Irish Humour Friday Funnies #117

OK, technically I missed the Friday Funny post yesterday, but honestly, it’s not my fault. You see I had this movie ticket that expired yesterday and not wanting to throw good money away I decided to use it. And so I went to the local cinema and watched X-Men, Days Of Future Past, in 3D too. I was a really cool movie. The when I cam home I had to work on the shower to prepare it for todays sealing work.

OK! Enough of that, on with this weeks Friday Funnies, albeit it’s being posted on Saturday.  :tongue_laugh_ee: Seeing how we all like a bit of Irish Humour. I know this to be true because my Friday Funnies Irish jokes have always proved to be really popular. :thumbup_ee:  

Irish Humour

One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon.

He thought to himself, “It’s certainly not a ship”

As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft.

Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the wet suit stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!

She walked up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, “Tell me, how long has it been since you’ve had a good cigar?”

“Ten years,” replied the amazed Irishman.

With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter.

He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag. “Faith and begorrah,” said the castaway, “that is so good! I’d almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!”

“And how long has it been since you’ve had a drop of good Bushmill’s Irish Whiskey?” asked the blonde.

Trembling, the castaway replied, “Ten years.”

Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him.

He opened the flask and took a long drink.. ” ‘Tis nectar of the gods!” shouted the Irishman. ” ‘Tis truly fantastic!!!”

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Funny Hooker Jokes Friday Funnies #116

If I remember last weeks Friday Funnies, which I do  :laugh_tb: , it was all about Hooters. You know, hooters, sometimes also referred to as breasts, tits, bazookers, boobies and some 250 other word for boobs:smoke_tb: Who would of thought there would be so many words to describe a woman’s mammary glands? 

Anyway, this weeks Friday Funnies is going to concentrate on Hookers. Its not just becomes Hookers have Hooters either. Which they generally do  :tongue_laugh_ee: Nope, it’s just that I got these two Hooker jokes in my email and I thought I would share them with you. One as a written joke and the other one as a video which I’ve posted on YouTube as part of my Laughaholics series of videos.  

The Irishman And The Hooker

An Irishman was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the dark shadows.

Thirty euros,’ she whispers. 

Murphy had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it’s only thirty euros. So they hid in the bushes.They’re going ‘at it’ for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them!

It is the police!

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Hooters, Blondes and Friday Funnies #115

Why Hooters and Blondes for this weeks Friday Funnies and not Boobs and blondes. Well, it’s all to with Search Engine Optimisation, also known as SEO. I’ve already used blondes as a keyword and my WP plugin says it’s best I use something else. So I figured I use hooters. Heck, I’m just as partial to hooters as I am to boobs and you’ll see why when you get an eyeful of the hooters later on in this post.

First let’s have a look at the blonde part of this weeks Friday Funnies.

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane, energy-efficient kind.

Today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn’t paid for them.

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