I’ve decided that this weeks Friday Funnies will be about funny Jewish jokes. Before I get to those funny Jewish jokes though I want to mention a new addition to my EZ Sports Betting site. Because of the success of the Sexy Sals jokes I decided to introduce something similar to the sports site. She’s Victoria the Sexy Sports Goddess
Now for our first funny Jewish joke…
Funny Jewish Joke From The Western Wall
A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.
So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.
“Pardon me, sir, I’m Rebecca Smith from CNN. What’s your name?”
“Morris Feinberg,” he replied.
“Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?”
“For about 60 years.”
“60 years! That’s amazing! What do you pray for?”
“I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews, and the Muslims.”
“I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop.”
“I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults and to love their fellow man.”
“I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interests of the people ahead of their own interests.”
And finally “I pray that everyone will be happy”.
“How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?”
“Like I’m talking to a fucking brick wall!”
This next funny Jewish joke is about three religious guys who are trying to work out who has the best conversion technique.
A priest, a preacher and a rabbi meet regularly. All agree that preaching isn’t that hard. A challenge would be to preach to a bear. So they go into the woods, find a bear, preach, and attempt to convert it. Afterwards, they compare notes.
Father Flannery, arm in a sling says, “I read to my bear from the Catechism. Well, that bear was tough. I sprinkled him with holy water, and Sunday he’s taking his first communion.”
Reverend Jones, in a wheelchair says, “I read to the bear from God’s Holy Word! But he wrestled me near a creek. I baptized him. We spent the day praising Jesus.”
They both look at the rabbi in a full body cast. “Oy. Looking back, circumcision may not have been the best way to start.”
That’s it for this week guys. If you haven’t voted in my latest poll about the sexiest sports babe you can do so here.
For this weeks Friday Funnies I thought I would tackle something new. It’s called male logic. I found the following joke about this bloke’s male logic bloody funny.
Woman: Do you drink beer?
Woman: How many beers a day?
Man: Usually about 3
Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
$5.00 which includes a tip
(This is where it gets scary !)
Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose
Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?
Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?
Woman: Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink beer?
Man: Where’s your fucking Ferrari then?
So, what did you think of that bit of male logic? You have to admit he had a very valid point. For our next bit of male logic I give you the most famous bloke to ever spew forth male logic, Al Bundy of Married With Children Fame.
More Male Logic
The following commercial doesn’t really have anything to do with male logic, except for the fact that this is usually something a bloke does, not a woman.
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This weeks Friday Funnies is going to have a few funny cartoons which I think you will like. But before we get into that I would like to share this little story about woman thinking of committing suicide.
A woman was standing at the edge of a cliff trying to get the nerve to jump off.
A homeless drunk stopped and mumbled,
“If you’re about to killyourself, how about a shag before you go?”
The woman was angry and said,
“No! Fuck off you filthy old bastard.”
The tramp turned to leave and said, “No problems, I’ll just go and wait at the bottom then.”
Now that is what I call some great counselling that may actually work.
Funny Image #1
I reckon that would have to be Little Johnny.
Funny Image #2
Yeah, that’s telling them luv! Kick those lazy ass politicians out so that we can save a lot of money and grief.
Funny Image #3
The next cartoon is from a graphic artist who was born in 1875! Donald McGill was fined at one stage under the Obscene Publications act of 1857.
Yep, by the looks of that broad I reckon our Donald liked to portray lovely, sexy buxom women. Let’s have a look at another one to see if the theory holds true.
Funny Image #4
Smart bloke that, and yep, this broad has big boobs too!