Funny Kids Friday Funnies #352

Todays Friday funnies is all about funny kids and some of the funny stuff that they do like the following funny kids' story. Funny Kids Stories Make You Laugh The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick. So he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. "Hello?" "Is your daddy home?" Small voice whispered,"Yes, he's out in the garden," "May I talk with him?" The child whispered,"No." So the boss asked, "Well, is your Mommy there?"  "Yes, she's out in the garden too."   The boss asked; "May I talk with her?"  Again the ‘No’. Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?" "Yes", whispered the child, "a policeman."  Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" "No, He's busy," whispered the child.  "Busy doing what?" "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the police dog men."  Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"  "It's a helicopter" answered the whispering voice.  "What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. "The search team just landed a helicopter." "A search team?" said the boss "What are they searching for?" Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."ME" Another Funny Kids Story I remember a story about a dad and his young son in a hardware…

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Six Types Of Sex

Todays Friday Funnies is about six types of sex, a far cry from my first ever Friday Funnies. Although I must admit, that initial post did mention sex at least once. 🤩So, what are the six types of sex? I'm glad you asked. 😆 The Six Types Of Sex 1. Pension Sex  Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?""Oh, nothing special. I'm having Pension sex.""Pension sex?""Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!" 2. Loud Sex A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor.Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell.""My dear," the shrink said. "That's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."The problem is," she complained. "It wakes me up!" 3.  Quiet Sex Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?"She glanced at him and replied, "You're never home!" 4.  Argument Sex A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.The husband yelled. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:'Here Lies My Wife - Cold as Ever.'""Yeah," she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff, at Last.'" 5.  Women's Humorous Sex My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly…

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Funny English Language Friday Funnies #350

No bullshit, this post is called Funny English Language because the English language can be pretty funny because of how it's interpreted. The Funny English Language Is Wonderful Take for example this made up tale about one of our Greens senators. Then again, it might be funnier if I substitute it for Pauline Hanson, her being such a political comedian and all. 😝 One Nation senator, Pauline Hanson, is touring live cattle export yards in the senator's chauffeur driven car. Suddenly a cow jumps out into the road; they hit it full on, and the vehicle comes to a stop. Pauline in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and check - you were driving."  The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. "You were driving, go and tell the farmer, " says Pauline, "I can't afford to be blamed for anything." The chauffeur walks up the drive to the farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face. "My god, what happened to you?" asks Pauline. The chauffeur replies "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of single malt whiskey.  The wife gave me a slap up meal and the daughter made love to me. "What on earth did you say?" asks Pauline. "I knocked on the door and when it answered, I said to them I’m Pauline Hanson's  chauffeur, and I’ve just killed the cow." I thought with all…

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