Elderly Humour Friday Funnies #358

I've written quite a few Elderly Jokes for Friday Funnies, and I see no reason why I shouldn't add to my elderly humour posts. The first of my elderly humour stories is about an old couple in their seventies who are about to be married. Elderly Humour #1 An elderly couple reaching their 70s are about to get married, but before they say their vows, the woman wanted to talk.She said: "I want to keep my house."He said: "That's fine with me."She said: "I want to keep my Car."He said: "That's fine with me."She said: "And I want to have sex 6 times a week."He said: "Put me down for Fridays." Before my next elder humour joke I have a few elderly humour images. Elderly Wisdom This next bit of elderly humour is funny because the young of today have no idea what it used to be like. Someone  asked the other day, 'What was your favourite  'fast food' when you were growing up?' 'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I  informed him. All the food was slow.'   'C'mon, seriously.. Where did you  eat?'   'It was a place called 'home,'' I explained.  !'Mum cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate, I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.' By this time, the lad was laughing so hard I was afraid he was…

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Funny Political Humour Friday Funnies #357

Because we're all going to vote in a federal election tomorrow, I thought some funny political humour would be perfect for this weeks Friday Funnies. I got the following funny political humour in my email today. I kid you not. Talk about perfect timing. 🤪 Today's Funny Political Humour I bought a new imported Ford F350 Tri-Flex Fuel Truck. Go figure, it runs on either hydrogen, gasoline, or E85. I returned to the dealer yesterday, because I couldn't get the radio to work. The service technician explained that the radio was voice activated. 'Nelson!' The technician said to the radio. The radio replied, 'Ricky or Willie?' 'Willie!' he continued and 'On the road again' came from the speakers. Then he said, 'Ray Charles!', and in an instant,' Georgia On My Mind' replaced Willie Nelson. I drove away happy and for the next few days, every time I'd say, 'Beethoven!', I'd get beautiful classical music. And if I said 'Beatles!', I'd get one of their awesome songs. Yesterday, some guy ran a red light and nearly smashed my new truck, but I swerved in time to avoid him. I yelled, “F**king Idiot!!!” Immediately, the radio responded with: "Ladies and gentlemen, an address from the Leader of the Opposition. Bill Shorten" Damn, I love this truck!!! Personally, I think originally this was an American joke that someone altered to suit us Aussies but it's still funny as hell. Seriously though, elections are a serious matter and you should think wisely before voting. The wrong choice can…

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Funny Random Jokes Friday Funnies #356

Todays Friday Funnies is a collection of funny random jokes. These funny random jokes are a collection of funny jokes I've received that don't really fit into a particular category. I'm going to start my funny random jokes post with my latest YouTube video, Funniest Greek Joke. Funny Random Jokes That Will Crack You Up Have you ever had a teacher or professor who was so dull he would put you to sleep? Well, maybe it wasn't his fault, perhaps you just weren't in the right mood to absorb his dialogue. Take the following episode as an example. The Professor was telling his early morning class, "I've found that the best way to start the day is to exercise for five minutes, take a deep breath of fresh air and then have a bowl of delicious cereal with raisins and almonds and a cup of green tea and finish with a cold shower. Then I feel rosy all over." A sleepy voice from the back of the room said, "Tell us more about Rosy”. There are quite a few redneck jokes out there that are pretty funny and I reckon this one is up there with the best of them. Redneck Funny Random Jokes A redneck's wife went into labour in the middle of the night, and a Doctor was called to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the Doctor handed the father to be a lantern and said "here you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon a…

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