Friday Funnies #5 Featuring Kevin Bloody Wilson

Yippee, it’s Friday once again and I’ve been looking forward to coming home just so I could write this post. I have to admit though that I’ve had a pretty bad day at work and I couldn’t wait to get out of there. Knowing that I had a Friday Funnies post waiting for me at least gave me something to look forward to. :drunk_tb:

Strangely enough this post has something in common with last weeks Fridays Funnies in that its also army related. I have to warn you though that the joke does have some sexual overtones so if you think that’s going to bother you I reckon you should be moving right along. If you do stay to read the post  you’re going to love it because the punchline really rocks. :thumbup_tb:

The Army Captain’s Sexual Exploit With Molly The Camel

A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Afghan Desert.

English: Dromedary camel in outback Australia,...
Image via Wikipedia

During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess
tent. He asked the Master Sergeant why the camel was kept there.

The nervous sergeant said, ‘Sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post
and no women.Sometimes the men have urges. That’s why we have Molly The Camel.”

The Captain said, ‘I can’t say that I condone this, but I can understand about the ‘urges’, so the camel can stay.’

About a month later, the Captain starts having his own ‘urges’. Crazed with passion, he asked the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent.

Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild and insane sex with the camel.

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Friday Funnies #4 Fracking Water And The Kid From Eromanga

It’s finally Friday, I’m stuffed, I have to work tomorrow but I love you guys too much not to continue with the Friday Funnies series.  :tongue_laugh_ee: Once again I have a joke and a video that I hope will amuse you no end.

You’ve probably heard that people who are country bred are stronger, fitter and more able to show up the city folk. I’m sure the country folk would love you to believe that and the city folk would turn up their nose at the idea. True or not it leads us to the first of this Friday’s funnies.

The Kid From Eromanga Joins The Army

Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland )

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the station – tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody horses to get in, no calves to feed, no troughs to clean – nothin’!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there’s lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!

At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there’s no kangaroo steaks or goanna stew like wot Mum makes. You don’t get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we’ve been on a ‘route march’ – geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the bullock paddock!!

This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin’ – dunno why.

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Fridays Funnies #3 Larry Griswold And A Teachers Woes

G’day peeps, man that week went quickly didn’t it. Even though I have to work tomorrow I still love Fridays because I know I only have one more day to go, oh, and I get to share a bit more humor with you :tongue_laugh_ee:

I found this next joke to be quite funny and even though I haven’t seen it before I suspect that someone has manipulated the last line to reflect what they thought us poor Aussies were in for when Julia Gillard became Australia’s Prime Minister, after virtually knifing Kevin Rudd in the back. I say that because it obviously takes place in an American classroom and so that last line probably referred to something that happened in the States.

The Little Smart Foreign Exchange Student

The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history.

Who said ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death’?”

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Hodiaki  a bright foreign exchange student from Japan, who had his hand up: ‘Patrick Henry, 1775’, he said.

‘Very good!’

Who said, ‘Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?’

Again, no response except from Little Hodiaki, ‘Abraham Lincoln, 1863’.

‘Excellent!’, said the teacher continuing, ‘let’s try one a bit more difficult…’

Who said, ‘Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country?’

Once again, Hodiaki’s was the only hand in the air and he said:

‘John F. Kennedy, 1961’.

The teacher snapped at the class, ‘Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves, Little Hodiaki isn’t from this country and he knows more about our history than you do.’

She heard a loud whisper:  ‘F . . k the Japs,’

‘Who said that? I want to know right now!’ she angrily demanded.

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