Friday Funnies #19 The Laughing Bride And The Smart Cop

Yep, it’s Friday again and I know how excited you all are to be here for the latest in the Friday Funnies series.  :clap_tb: But, before I pull out the latest joke from my sleeve I want to tell you just a little bit about my last post.  :hairout_tb: Now, hang onto those hair follicles, it’s not all that bad, it’s just that I know a lot of my readers are fellow bloggers who are continually persecuted by spammers. Well, if that’s you then before reading the rest of the post, or perhaps after picking yourself up off the floor from laughter, head on over and read my post Where Has All The Spam Gone?, because honestly, since updating the plugin in question I’ve had some spare time on my hands.

Whew! Now that I’ve got that over with lets get back to the job in hand, making you guys laugh!  :thumbup_ee:

The Smart Motorcycle Cop

police officer on police motorcycle
police officer on police motorcycle (Photo credit: Metropolitan Police)

A police motorcycle officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light. The driver is a real bar steward, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!

So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer’s ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.

The tirade goes on without the officer saying a dickybird.

When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an “AH” in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to The ‘violator’ for his signature. The bloke signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the “AH” and demands to know what it stands for.

The officer says, “That’s so when we go to court, I’ll remember that you’re an arsehole!”

Two months later they’re in court. The ‘violator’ has a bad driving record and he has a heap of demerits and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.

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Friday Funnies #18 Man At Bar, Hypnotist Sex And Can’t Stop Laughing

Friday is finally here and that means its Friday Funnies time again and I know how much you guys are looking forward to that. First I’d like to thank all my list subscribers who have emailed me their appreciation, not only of the Friday Funnies series but also because of the extra joke they receive via their email notification when each WassupBlog post goes live. Thanks guys, and don’t forget, any jokes you send me via email that I use in the Friday Funnies series will include a link back to your site.

For this weeks Friday Funnies I thought I would treat you to two jokes involving women and how men to get in trouble around them because of something they’ve said or something they’ve done.  :devil_tb:

When A Man Says The Wrong Thing To Two Ladies At The Bar

I was in a pub on Saturday night. Had a few….If Wishing could Make it so
I noticed two large women by the bar.
They both had strong accents so I asked,
“Hey, are you two ladies from Scotland?”

One of them chirped: “It’s WALES you friggin’ idiot!”

So, I immediately apologized and said…,
“Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland ?”

That’s the last thing I remember…

Naturally you know that wasn’t me in the joke. although I have been known to put my foot in my mouth when talking to the fair sex  :dont_know:

OK, now for joke number two.

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Friday Funnies #17 Thomas The Tank Engine And A Crazy Prank

I know how you guys have been waiting all week for this weeks Friday’s Funnies, and I believe you’re really going to love this weeks funnies, but before I get into it I just wanted to say something. You see, I’ve been getting all these emails about this particular post from people wanting to know how it was all working out. Well, just in case you’ve been wondering but were too shy to ask I want everybody to know that there will be an update and if you really don’t want to miss out then you really should join my list :wink_ee:

OK, now that’s over and done with let’s get to this weeks Friday Funnies shall we? I’ve always found children to be the most innocent and funniest creatures on this planet of hours and most of the time it’s the innocence of their actions that we as adults find to be so funny. The following joke is about a young boy and his love for Thomas the Tank Engine.

Thomas The Tank Engine

Thomas the Tank Engine Makeover by Banksy

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son
playing with his new electric train set in the living room.

She heard the train stop and her son saying, ‘All of You B*****ds who want off, get off now, ‘cos we’re in a hurry! And all of you B*****ds who are getting on, get on now, ‘cos we’re going down the tracks’.

The horrified mother went in and told her son, ‘We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.’

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, ‘All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one.’

She hears the little boy continue, ‘For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.’

As the mother began to smile, the child added……….

‘For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat controller in the kitchen.

Kids, man you gotta just love them.  :laugh_tb:

And now for this weeks video. It took me a while to find this one but it was well worth the effort. It’s one of those hidden video gags and it’s hilarious to see the reactions of all those victims.

The World’s Most Funny Video Ever

OK, that’s not me saying that but the person you posted the video on YouTube, and while it may not be the worlds most funniest video ever it sure as hell is funny.

And that’s it for another week. I sure hope you enjoyed this weeks Fridays Funnies and hope it kick starts a great weekend for you.

 

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