I know how you guys have been waiting all week for this weeks Friday’s Funnies, and I believe you’re really going to love this weeks funnies, but before I get into it I just wanted to say something. You see, I’ve been getting all these emails about this particular post from people wanting to know how it was all working out. Well, just in case you’ve been wondering but were too shy to ask I want everybody to know that there will be an update and if you really don’t want to miss out then you really should join my list
OK, now that’s over and done with let’s get to this weeks Friday Funnies shall we? I’ve always found children to be the most innocent and funniest creatures on this planet of hours and most of the time it’s the innocence of their actions that we as adults find to be so funny. The following joke is about a young boy and his love for Thomas the Tank Engine.
Thomas The Tank Engine
A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son
playing with his new electric train set in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son saying, ‘All of You B*****ds who want off, get off now, ‘cos we’re in a hurry! And all of you B*****ds who are getting on, get on now, ‘cos we’re going down the tracks’.
The horrified mother went in and told her son, ‘We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.’
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, ‘All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one.’
She hears the little boy continue, ‘For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.’
As the mother began to smile, the child added……….
‘For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat controller in the kitchen.
Kids, man you gotta just love them.
And now for this weeks video. It took me a while to find this one but it was well worth the effort. It’s one of those hidden video gags and it’s hilarious to see the reactions of all those victims.
The World’s Most Funny Video Ever
OK, that’s not me saying that but the person you posted the video on YouTube, and while it may not be the worlds most funniest video ever it sure as hell is funny.
And that’s it for another week. I sure hope you enjoyed this weeks Fridays Funnies and hope it kick starts a great weekend for you.
Yep, it’s taken awhile but Friday is finally here and you know what that means don’t you? No, you silly person, although the weekend is just around the corner, nope, it’s Friday Funnies time.
Today’s Friday Funnies is all about anger management and how one particular bloke turned it to his advantage.
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know, but you know deserves it.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.A man answered, saying ‘Hello.’ I politely said, ‘This is Chris.Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?’
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear ‘Get the right f***ing number!’And the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude.
When I tracked down Robyn’s correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.After hanging up with her,I decided to call the ‘wrong’ number again.
When the same bloke answered the phone, I yelled ‘You’re an arsehole!’
And hung up. I wrote his number down with the word ‘arsehole’ next to it, And put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I’d call him up and yell, ‘You’re an arsehole!’ It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic ‘arsehole’ calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, ‘Giday, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I’m calling to see if you’re familiar with our Caller ID Program?’ He yelled ‘NO!’ And slammed down the phone.I quickly called him back and said, ‘That’s because you’re an arsehole!’And hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.Some bloke in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I’d been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.I noticed a ‘For Sale ‘ sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first arsehole (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that I’d better call the BMW arsehole, too. I said, ‘Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?’ He said, ‘Yes, it is.’ I then asked, ‘Can you tell me where I can see it?’ He said, ‘Yes, I live at 34 Gumtree Blvd. , in Strathfield It’s a yellow outback style house And the car’s parked right out in front.’ I asked, ‘What’s your name?’ He said, ‘My name is Peter Costello.’ I asked, ‘When’s a good time to catch you, Peter?’ He said, ‘I’m home every evening after five.’ I said, ‘Listen, Peter, can I tell you something?’ He said, ‘Yes?’ I said, ‘Peter, you’re an arsehole!’ Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two arseholes to call. Then I came up with an idea…I called arsehole #1. He said, ‘Hello’ I said, ‘You’re an arsehole!’ (But I didn’t hang up.) He asked, ‘Are you still there?’ I said, ‘Yeah!’ He screamed, ‘Stop calling me’ I said, ‘Make me.’ He asked, ‘Who are you?’ I said, ‘My name is Peter Costello.’ He said, ‘Yeah? Where do you live?’ I said, ‘Arsehole, I live at 34 Gumtree Blvd. , in Strathfield, a yellow outback style home and I have a black Beamer parked in front.’ He said, ‘I’m coming over right now, Peter. And you had better start saying your prayers.’ I said, ‘Yeah, like I’m really scared, arsehole,’ and hung up.
Then I called Arsehole #2. He said, ‘Hello?’ I said, ‘Hello, arsehole,’ He yelled, ‘If I ever find out who you are…’ I said, ‘You’ll what?’ He exclaimed, ‘I’ll kick your arse’ I answered, ‘Well, arsehole, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now.’ Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I was on my way over to 34 Gumtree Blvd , in Strathfield , to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 7 News about the gang war going down in Gumtree Blvd in Strathfield ..
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Strathfield . I got there just in time to watch two arseholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew. NOW I feel much better.
You see, anger management really does work.
And now for this weeks video. It’s a fairly long video but you’re going to love it. I especially loved the old guy who’s trying to pick up all these beautiful young shielas
Everybody needs something to look forward to because if you didn’t have something to look forward to life would be a whole lot drearier. Having something to look forward to makes the day, or even week go faster. Imagine if there wasn’t a weekend, work would be such a chore. Everybody needs to look forward to something, even if it’s just the end of the working day.
This is one of the reasons I came up with Friday’s Funnies and writing the next Friday’s funnies post is something that I look forward to, partly because I love reading the many jokes I get but mainly because I love the feedback from you, my readers. So, without further ado I give Friday Funny’s #15.
The Blonde Mortician
A man who’d just died was delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, ‘I don’t care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.’
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly…
She says to the mortician, ‘Whatever this cost, I’m very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I’m very grateful. How much did you spend?’
To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.