Man, what a day I’ve had. I didn’t think I would get this post out on time because just about everything’s gone wrong starting with the phone line being down for over 24 hours! Naturally if I don’t have a phone line I don’t have the internet because I’m using DSL and not cable. Then when the Internet finally comes on I have to rush off to work Once I finally get home I’ve stopped for a cup of coffee and a quick bite to eat. It’s now 11.30pm which means that I have 30 minutes to get the latest Friday Funnies out.
I thought for this weeks joke I would tell you about the time the seven dwarfs went to Rome to visit with the pope.
The Seven Dwarfs Meet With The Pope
Seven dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.
Grumpy leads the pack. “Grumpy, my son,” says the Pope, “What can I do for you?”
Grumpy asks, “Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?”
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, “No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome.”
In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.
Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.
Grumpy turns back, “Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?”
The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, “No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe.
“This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.
Have you ever thought how much one day is pretty much like another? You get up, go to work, go home watch a bit of TV then you go to sleep and when you wake up it starts all over again. You know the old saying, ‘same shit, different day’? Well that’s why I love Fridays, because on Friday I get to give you something different. Yep, you can rest assured that on each and every Friday you get can drop into my latest Friday Funnies post and be presented with a new and funny situation, whether it’s a video, joke or a funny image. Heck,sometimes you may get all three! You just never know with Friday Funnies Day!
Today I’m going to introduce you to little Ralphy. To tell you the honest truth I reckon he’s really little Johnny in disguise.
LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH
A teacher asks her class, ‘If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?’ She calls on little Ralphy.
He replies, ‘None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.’
The teacher replies, ‘The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking..’
Then little RALPHY says, ‘I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?’
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, ‘Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.’
To which Little RALPHY replied, ‘The correct answer is ‘the one with the wedding ring on,’ but I like your thinking.’
Man! It’s been such a busy week and I’ve been so looking forward to having the weekend off but it’s not to be as I have to work tomorrow. Not to worry, it’s still Friday and that means it’s time for our regular Friday Funnies post.
In the last Friday Funnies I picked on the blonde, and let’s face it there are a lot of funny jokes about blondes, but this time I’m going to use the Irish as the subject of todays joke. I think you’re going to like this one, I know I did.
Paddy Wants To Give Maggie An Orgasm
Some years ago, Paddy married an attractive woman, Maggie, half his age, in a small coastal Irish community. After several months, Maggie complained that she had never climaxed during sex and according to her Grandmother all Irish women are entitled to a climax once in a while.
So, to resolve the problem, they went to see the Veterinarian since there was no trustworthy doctor anywhere in the village. The Vet didn’t have a clue, but he did recall how, during the hot summer, his mother and father would fan a cow that was having difficulty breeding with a big towel. This would cool her down and make her relax.
So the Vet told them to hire a strong, virile young man to wave a big towel over them while they were having sex. This, the Vet said, would cause the young wife to cool down, relax, then climax.
So the couple hired a strong young man from Dublin to wave that big towel over them as the Vet suggested.
After many efforts, Maggie still had not climaxed so they went back to the Vet. The Vet said for her to change partners and let the young man have sex with her while Paddy waved the big towel.
They tried it that night and Maggie went into wild, screaming, ear-splitting climaxes, one right after the other for about two and a half hours.
When it was over, Paddy looked down at the exhausted young man and in a boasting voice said: ‘And that, me son, is how ya waves a fukkin’ towel!’
And now to entertain you with a video about a Nina Conti a really funny female ventriloquist.