Friday Funnies #40, Babies Rap Pastor’s Ass et al

Hey guys, did you miss me? You do know of course that if you were part of my list you would have know exactly why I’ve been missing the last few days and why there was no Friday’s Funnies last week. What’s that? You still want to know what happened and how come the blog is loading so much faster? Well, I reckon you’re just going to have to wait until my next post for that information  :tongue_laugh_ee:

Before I get on with the Friday Funnies post I want to wish all my friends in the States a happy Thanksgiving and now on with the Friday Funnies post, and believe me, you’re going to love this one because I’ve worked extra hard to make up for missing out on last weeks post.

 The Pastor’s Ass

The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.

The next day the local paper read:

PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next issue of the local paper’s headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey. The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.

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Friday Funnies #39 Best For Laughs

Man, I can’t believe how fast that week went. I hope you guys had a great week and that you had time to read my posts this week. In case you didn’t you may be interested to see who won the free hosting package and more importantly you will want to read my post on how to lower your bounce rate. If you only have time for one more post to read then the one on lowering your bounce rate is one you don’t want to miss out on.

But today is Friday and that means the weekend is just around the corner and what we all need after a hard weeks work is a bit of light humour to get us off on the right start and the best way to do that is with a dose of Friday Funnies!  :drunk_tb:

Symbolic Meaning Of The Indian Headdress?

Have you ever wondered what the feathers in an Indian’s headdress stood for?

 A female reporter, interviewing an American Indian Chief, asked the significance of the varied number of feathers in Indian headdresses.

“Feathers show number of sexual partners,” the chief replied.Indian Headress

Pointing to a nearby young brave, he continued, “Him? One woman, one feather. Him?”, pointing to a second, older man, “Three women, three feathers.”

The reporter looked at the Chief’s headdress. “But you have so many feathers!”

The Chief proudly slapped his chest. “Me Chief. Sleep with all women. Big, small, fat, tall.”

Horrified, the female reporter said, “You ought to be hung!”

The Chief said, “Damn right. Me hung big like buffalo, long like snake.”

The offended reporter said, “You don’t have to be hostile!”

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Friday Funnies #38 Irish Jokes And More

Yay, it’s Friday Funnies time again and so it is with great pleasure that I present to you Friday Funnies #38 ! Yep, that means that its been going for a whole 38 weeks! Man that has gone quickly hasn’t it? OK, so I reckon you’ve gathered from the title of the post that it’s going to have something to do with the Irish and of course you’re correct  :drunk_tb: What you don’t know is that I’m going to share not one but two incredibly funny Irish jokes with you  and they both involve accidents.  :wink_ee:

The Irish Road Accident

Paddy phones an ambulance because his mate’s been hit by a car.

Paddy: ‘Get an ambulance here quick, he’s bleeding from his nose and

Hey guys, I hope you can control you’re laughter long enough to head on over to my post about how you can win FREE web hosting for a year!

ears and I tink both his legs are broken.’
Operator: ‘What is your location sir?’

Paddy: ‘Outside number 28 Eucalyptus Street .’
Operator: ‘How do you spell that sir?’
Silence…. (heavy breathing) and after a minute.
Operator: ‘Are you there sir?’

More heavy breathing and another minute later.

Operator: ‘Sir, can you hear me?’
This goes on for another few minutes until….
Operator: ‘Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?’

Paddy: ‘Yes, sorry bout dat… I couldn’t spell eucalyptus, so I just
dragged him round to number 3 Oak Street .’  :lol_ee:

OK, now for joke #2

The Irish Sawmill Accident

Paddy and Mick are two Irishmen working at the local sawmill.

One day, Mick slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw.

Paddy quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick to the local hospital.

Next day, Paddy goes to the hospital and asks after Mick.
The nurse says, “Oh he’s out in Rehab exercising”.

Paddy couldn’t believe it, but there’s Mick out the back exercising his now re-attached arm.

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The very next day he’s back at work in the saw mill.

A couple of days go by, and then Mick slips and severs his leg on another bloody big saw.

So Paddy puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick off to the hospital.

Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is.
The nurse replies, “He’s out in the Rehab again exercising”.

And sure enough, there’s Mick out there doing some serious work on the treadmill.
And very soon Mick comes back to work.

But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and severs his head.

Wearily Paddy puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and Mick to the hospital.

Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Mick is.
The nurse breaks down and cries and says, “He’s dead.”

Paddy is shocked, but not surprised…
“I suppose the saw finally did him in.”

“No”, says the nurse…. “Some dopey bastard put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated.  :lol_tb:

Now for an Irishman telling Irish jokes :tongue_laugh_ee:

Some Funny Irish Humour

And last but not least, some words of wisdom from everybody’s favourite, Aunty Acid and why she ended her singing career. To tell you the truth I know exactly how she feels. Have a great weekend guys.

Aunty acid cartoon singing

Oh, just in case you want a collection of your own Irish Jokes :wink_ee:

[amazon_image id=”0006384099″ link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]The World’s Best Irish Jokes[/amazon_image]          [amazon_image id=”0517127318″ link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]500 Best Irish Jokes and Limericks[/amazon_image]          [amazon_image id=”B0002IYQLO” link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Gag Gifts – Instant Irish Accent Breath Spray[/amazon_image]

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