First Date Joke

This first date joke isn't the funniest joke I've posted but because it's a true story I thought it deserves mention Funny First Date Joke If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest first date joke ever, the first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates, but this takes the cake. Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize! She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah . It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that a fternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. ! ! They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Make Sure You Go Before You Leave ;) Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point here she told him that he had better stop and…

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Funniest Cat Joke Friday Funnies #360

Funniest cat joke? I get a lot emails containing jokes from my friends. So many that its kept Friday Funnies going for years. Today's email is one of the funniest cat jokes, so funny that I had to include it in this weeks Friday Funnies post. Funniest Cat Joke Ever We were dressed and ready to go out for a dinner & theatre evening. We turned on a 'night light', turned the answering machine on, coveredour pet parrot and put the cat in the backyard.  We phoned the localtaxi company and requested a taxi.  The taxi arrived, and we openedthe front door to leave the house.  As we walked out the door, the catwe had put out in the yard scooted back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries toget at the parrot.  My wife walked on out to the taxi, while I wentback inside to get the cat.  The cat ran upstairs, with me in hotpursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife didn't want the driver to know that thehouse would be empty for the night so, she explained to the taxidriver that I would be out soon.  "He's just going upstairs to saygood-by to my mother." A few minutes later, I got into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said, as we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her asswith a coat hanger to get her to come out. She tried…

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Barbecue Humour Friday Funnies #359

My first barbecue humour! I came across a couple of emails that I thought would be great for this weeks Friday Funnies which I've called barbecue humour because they both revolve around the humble barbecue. Barbecue Humour - BBQ Rules We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: (1) The woman buys the food. (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand. (4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three-meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman. Here comes the important part:(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL. (6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery. (7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat Important again:(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. (9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them…

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