I’ve written quite a few Elderly Jokes for Friday Funnies, and I see no reason why I shouldn’t add to my elderly humour posts. The first of my elderly humour stories is about an old couple in their seventies who are about to be married.
Elderly Humour #1
An elderly couple reaching their 70s are about to get married, but before they say their vows, the woman wanted to talk.
She said: “I want to keep my house.“
He said: “That’s fine with me.”
She said: “I want to keep my Car.“
He said: “That’s fine with me.”
She said: “And I want to have sex 6 times a week.“
He said: “Put me down for Fridays.“
Before my next elder humour joke I have a few elderly humour images.
This next bit of elderly humour is funny because the young of today have no idea what it used to be like.
Someone asked the other day, ‘What was your favourite ‘fast food’ when you were growing up?’
‘We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up,’ I informed him. All the food was slow.’
‘C’mon, seriously.. Where did you eat?’
‘It was a place called ‘home,” I explained. !’Mum cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn’t like what she put on my plate, I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.’
By this time, the lad was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn’t tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.
But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I’d figured his system could have handled it: Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore jeans, set foot on a golf course, travelled out of the country or had a credit card.
My parents never drove me to school. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed (slow).
We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 10.
It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at 10 PM, after playing the national anthem and epilogue; it came back on the air at about 6 am. And there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.
Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.
All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers
Film stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the films. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or almost anything offensive.
If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you might want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don’t blame me if they bust a gut laughing.
Growing up isn’t what it used to be, is it?
Finally, a couple more elderly humour images.
The fact that you’re here, reading this post, shows me you’re someone who loves, or is looking for laughs so don’t forget to check out my other Friday Funnies posts.
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