Aussie Love Poem Friday Funnies #371

Today’s Aussie love poem was inspired by my latest YouTube video Scary Halloween Ball Poem. Other than both being poems they have nothing in common. I just could resist promoting my Halloween Poem. It would be great if you could check it out and give it a thumbs up.

Anyway, back to today’s Aussie Love poem.

Funny Aussie Love Poem

Of course I love ya darlin
You’re a bloody top-notch bird
And when I say you’re gorgeous
I mean every single word

So ya bum is on the big side
I don’t mind a bit of flab
It means that when I’m ready
There’s somethin’ there to grab

So your belly isn’t flat no more
I tell ya, I don’t care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get my arms round there

No Sheila who is your age
Has nice round perky breasts
They just gave in to gravity
But I know ya did ya best

I’m tellin’ ya the truth now
I never tell ya lies
I think it’s very sexy
That you’ve got dimples on ya thighs

I swear on me nanna’s grave now
The moment that we met
I thought you was as good as
I was ever gonna get

No matter what u look like
I’ll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the rugby’s on
And fetch another beer

I enjoyed that poem and hope that you did as well. Perhaps enough to share it with your friends?

I thought this poem was pretty good too.

Aussie Love Poem

You May Find The Following Of Interest

Check out my Laughaholics jokes so you can keep the laughs coming. You’ll especially love my latest Funny Blonde jokes video. While you’re there why not join my growing YouTube Channel. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest in a series of videos called Aussie Adventures In Italy. Episode one is called Randazzo.

Scary Hallows Eve Ball

Scary Hallows Eve Ball Poem

Scary Hallows Eve Ball Poem

With Hallows Eve just around the corner, I decided to upload my scary Hallow Eve’s Ball Poem. I called this poem Scary Halloween Ball Poem 2019. Yeah, I know it’s a little long-winded, but it all has to do with SEO, something that’s important if you want your videos to get noticed on YouTube.

This is my fourth scary Halloween poem. The first scary Halloween open was Home Alone On Halloween. My second scary Halloween poem was Screams of Halloween, and I wrote that about three years later on October 2012. The last one, Scary Halloween Poem was on October 31st 2015. See all my poems here.

My Latest Scary Halloween Poem

Once a year around the land
The ghouls join to form a band
On Hallow’s eve in unhallowed hall
Creatures come for the Halloween Ball

Skeletons jiving, rattling their chains
Zombies strutting feasting on brains
Witches swaying swooshing their brooms
Banging cauldrons and predicting dooms

The Halloween Ball music reverberates.
Calling all monsters to participate
While humans gather collecting sweets
Moaning ghosts are fluttering sheets

Creaking coffins as vampires emerge
Mournful voices adding to the dirge
When it comes to the scary Halloween Ball
All horrors are welcome to the unearthly sprawl

Witches and Warlocks with bumps and grinds
To werewolves howling blowing their minds
Swamp creatures emerging from pungent lake
Their writhing smelling bodies starting to shake

The music stops when Lucifer joins the band
But starts again when he waves his taloned hand
He strokes the spoked tines on his evil pitchfork
Creating a seething eerie sound for his evil work

Unearthly sounds filling the unearthly ballroom
Minions, ogres and banshees dance in the gloom,
They’re bopping and rocking at the Halloween Ball
All manners of monsters the moment enjoyed by all

No mortal to be found amongst this evil crowd
Only the dead and dreadful wearing their shroud
Bloodletting screams and mournful moanings
Contribute to the music and the crowd’s groanings

The sirens song out of reach of mortal beings
Woos the demons with their soulful fleeings
In the human realm, their song entices the mortal
But in the demon realm causes them all to chortle

But even for the dark soul, good times must end
As the sun rises for the ghoul and the evil fiend
Alas, for another year for all the evil that crawl
They must await the next ghastly Halloween Ball

Do More On YouTube

Seriously, while on YouTube you should check out my Laughaholics jokes. You’ll especially love my latest Funny Blonde jokes video. While you’re there why not join my growing YouTube Channel. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

Motorbike Jokes Pt II Friday Funnies #370

I hope you like today’s Friday Funnies which is all about motorbike jokes. I do believe that this is the first time that I’ve featured motorbike jokes in a Friday Funnies post. Oops, I did a quick search of my blog and discovered I did do a motorbike in March last year. You can read that joke here. It’s hilarious.

Motorbike Jokes Picking Up Girls

motorbike jokes

A 10-year-old girl was walking home alone from school one day when a big man on a motorbike pulls up beside her. He follows her for a little while, then turns around and says to her, “Hey there little girl, how would you like to go for a little ride?”

“No way!” says the little girl as she quickens her pace.

The guy on the motorbike pulls alongside her again and asks, “Hey, little girl, I’ll give you ten bucks if you hop on the back.”

“NO!” says the little girl as she hurries down the street.

The motorcyclists pulls up alongside her again and say, “OK kid, this is my final offer. I’ll give you twenty bucks and a big bag of candy if you go on the back of my bike and let me take you for a ride.

Finally, the girl stops, turns and face the man defiantly with her hands placed firmly on her hips. She screams out, “Look, Dad, you’re the one who bought a Honda instead of a Harley. YOU RIDE IT!”

Karma And The Motorcycle Cop

They rushed a motorcycle patrolman to hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated on him, and when he came round, he was relieved when they told him all had gone to plan, and he was going to be okay.

But the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. He was worried that something might be wrong, but he was still too weak from the surgery to do anything. Eventually, he managed to pull his hospital gown down enough to check what was causing the discomfort. When he looked down at his chest, he saw three wide strips of ultra-adhesive tape stuck firmly to his hairy chest. Written on it in large black letters was the message:

“Get well soon… from the nurse who got a ticket from you last week. I’ll be round to remove the tape later.”

Check out my Laughaholics jokes so you can keep the laughs coming. You’ll especially love my latest Funny Blonde jokes video. While you’re there why not join my growing YouTube Channel. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest in a series of videos called Aussie Adventures In Italy. Episode one is called Randazzo.