2008 November | WassupBlog

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Archive for November, 2008

ProBlogger Plea To Amazon Associates Program

Saturday, November 29th, 2008 at 9:03 pm

Comments (15)

: Image by BenSpark via Flickr

I was pleased to read Darren Rowse’s letter to the big boys at Amazon, not because I think he will get non-US affiliates a better deal, but because it has galvanized me into promoting Amazon products a whole lot more. I never thought that there was that amount of money to be made. Sure Darren is able to bring in the big bucks because of the amount of ‘pull’ his blogs have, and maybe one day I will be close to being in the same league but for now I will take every dollar that comes my way, even if I have to wait 6 weeks to get it.

In regards to the post itself, I reckon that Darren is starting to forget his original roots. Like us, he started off as a small time blogger who was quite happy to get whatever income came his way through his blogging efforts. With consistent hard work he has been able to fulfill the dreams of most of the bloggers out there, that of being able to make blogging their career where they can work from home and be their own boss. So you have to wait 6 weeks for your check, so what, at least you are getting a check. If Amazon decided not accept foreign affiliates, like a lot of other US companies, you would be $70,000 worse off so perhaps it would be best to accept things as they are.

Personally I would be quite happy to wait 6 months for that kind of money let alone 6 weeks. Whilst I hope that they take heed of your letter I can only imagine their response upon receiving it.

Amazon CEO: Hey Bill, check this out, now that Darren Rowse is a member of the million dollar club he reckons we should treat him better than the rest of our affiliates.

Bill: Your kidding? The cheek of these damn Aussies. And check out the bit where he says we should be paying him more ‘personal attention’ because of the size of his account!

Amazon CEO: (Laughing out loud) Yeah that’s really rich isn’t it? Damn Aussies are lucky we let them in on the program at all. Don’t think they realize the hassles of dealing with foreign affiliates let alone the extra costs of changing the system, especially now with the current economic crisis. The nerve of some people.

Bill: Say Boss, are you going to reply to the letter?

Amazon CEO: Are you kidding? That’s Darren Rowse we are talking about, of course I am going to reply……..in about 6 weeks or so.

Hey Darren, I would have left you an actual comment on the post but it’s been getting so that I never know if you get my comment or not and I’m feeling like I talking in the wind. Still, it was a good excuse to do a post and so I took that option instead. All the best of luck with your letter mate, I honestly hope that the big boys sit up and take notice, but I don’t like your chances.

Blond Bombshell Finds The True Worth Of Vanity

Friday, November 28th, 2008 at 1:00 am

Comments (17)

In the land Of Wassup, many years ago, there lived a woman named Deseria who was renowned for her beauty. The trouble with Deseria was that she knew she was beautiful and wanted everyone around her to appreciate the fact. Every night and morning she would go through the routine of brushing her luscious blond hair the required 500 strokes, all the while gazing lovingly at her reflection. Every time she would speak to the mirror the following words, “Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” Luckily for her the mirror was an inanimate object, otherwise it would have used it’s magical ability to throttle her. Still, Deseria would play her little game and in her mind she would hear the mirror telling her what a real stunner she was and how every woman in the world was extremely jealous of her.

One stormy night as she was lovingly gazing at her reflection she noticed what appeared to be some wrinkles. Heaven forbid that anything should mar her striking beauty. What to do, what to do she moans to herself as she paces her room, no longer looking in the mirror in case she was to see more wrinkles. Then she remembers that a young warlock was reported to live on the other side of town and she decided that she would pay him a visit first thing in the morning.

The next day, hiding her new found wrinkles in an expensive silk veil she asks around as to where the warlock could be found. An old hag directs her to the residence of one Sire, warlock extraordinaire. Upon arrival she knocks on the door and to her surprise a young hunk of a man opens it, and the first thing that comes to her mind is ‘Wow, this guy can fix more than just my complexion!’ Sire on the other hand remembers her as the young girl who made fun of a pimply skinny kid and of the vow that he made to make her pay for her cruelty.

He guides her to the couch and listens to her drivel, all the while wondering just how to make her pay for what she did. Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. Her vanity was the answer and instead of making her skin luscious and smooth again he decided to do the exact opposite. With a twinkle in his eye he givers her a concoction that he promises will make her even more beautiful than before. After giving her explicit instructions he sends her home.

She was so happy that her feet seemed to skim above the ground as she almost ran home, so eager was she to have beauty restored to its former glory. Upon reaching her home she follows the instructions to the letter. She takes the concoction and mixes it with fresh milk and some of her feces, (did I mention she was a blond) and after rubbijng it in liberally all over her body she promptly went to bed, and even through the putrid smell she managed to fall asleep.

Early the next morning she woke up and excitedly went to have a shower so she could wash the foul smelling muck off. As the putrid mess started to wash off, to her shock and horror rather than leaving her skin silky smooth it was all hard and wrinkled. She screamed, wondering what could have possible gone wrong. In a panic she dresses and covering herself in a veil, once again so she would not be recognized, she goes to Sire’s abode to find out what could have have gone wrong.

She bangs on the door until suddenly it was flung open and she gazed at Sire’s manic eyes. She screams at him asking him what the heck was going on, all the while beating on his muscular chest. Sire just waits until she stops out of sheer exhaustion and then calmly recounts the time when they were kids and how she had constantly made fun of his pimply appearance, in front of the whole village. He then goes on to tell her how the potion he had given her had only just started to work and that in time she would look like a shriveled up old hag, unless…….. ‘Unless what she screams!’

‘Well Deseria, there is only one way in which the spell from the potion can be reversed, and that is that you have to go to the center of Wassup, in the village square at high noon. You must dig a hole in front of all those watching and then you are to place your head into the hole and lift your legs into the air. Only then will you return to normal.”

With a scream she rushes to the village square and with her bare hands she digs a hole in the earth. Then, with all the villagers watching, she places her head into the ground and lifts her legs into the air. (Did I mention that she was a blond?). To her surprise her limbs went all stiff and before she could do anything about it the ground closed around her head, and where once there was a luscious, curvaceous blond bombshell now stood a tree bearing the form of a naked woman.

The moral of this story is; “Aging gracefully is better than putting shit on your face”

Or perhaps it should be; “Don’t pick on the poor pimple faced boy Because you never know how he will turn out”

Perhaps you have a better moral?

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Bloggers, Overworked And Underpaid

Wednesday, November 26th, 2008 at 1:52 am

Comments (29)

Let’s assume that a bloggers main aim is to utilize his blog to make money, with the sole intention that one day he or she can tell their bosses to go get stuffed, as they now have their very own profitable online business. They dream about the look on their boss’s face when they will one day drop the ‘I Quit’, bombshell.

The trouble is that this dream, for the majority of bloggers, is a long way off and there is a lot of hard work ahead of them. Let’s face it, monetizing the old Blog isn’t as easy as we once thought. So much goes into blogging from choosing the host, theme, affiliates and then to consistently provide quality content in order to build a presence on the Web that will hopefully build into a strong readership.

The problem is that content alone will not achieve this. We also have to become marketers and SEO wizards just so that our blogs will become noticed by the big search engines. This in itself takes a lot of time as we sift through all the information available on the Web, trying all the different things we learn, usually by trial and error, hoping that we will hit on the right mix that will suddenly thrust us into blogging fame and glory.

All this to encourage what we hope to be thousands of daily visitors. Visitors that will provide interaction with our posts bringing even more visitors. In the end the plan is that our blogs become so popular that advertisers will beg for a spot on our blogs. The thing is that until that happens all we can hope is that these visitors will click on our Google Adsense ads or on one of our affiliate links.

The thing is that even after doing all the right things, bringing in all those visitors and getting all those affiliate links constantly clicked, unless the landing page of those affiliates are designed in such a way as to encourage a lead or sale, all that hard work has been in vain. I know, because very few of the thousands of clicks that I have sent to affiliates over my blogging career have actually culminated in a sale thereby earning me money.

Does this mean that it has all been in vain? No, certainly not! It just means that I haven’t yet hit on the right mixture of affiliates. This naturally means more work for me as a blogger, as I constantly strive for that lucky mixture of factors that will finally give me the fame, glory and financial freedom that seek.

Yep, no matter how you look at it, unless you are ProBlogger, we are definitely overworked and underpaid.

What Type Of Commentator Do You Aspire To Be?

Wednesday, November 19th, 2008 at 5:17 pm

Comments (53)

Who's The Dick Writing Comments On My Blog

Image by Laughing Squid via Flickr

As bloggers, when we write content our intention is to lure in commentators, not just the casual browser, but those fellow bloggers and web surfers. We want our content to strike a chord in them, one that will cause them to pause for a moment, reflect on what they have just read and to then say, “Hey, that was good and I have something that I want to say to add to what I have just read!”

The trouble is that the web and the world around us are full of all different types of commentators. Some are leaches that take what they can and leave nothing in return, and others add a little wisdom improving the quality of the content. I have come up with the top three of each group.

Top 3 Obnoxious Commentators

Robotic Commentators: These commentators are not human. I’m serious. You’ve obviously seen some of them, their comments make absolutely no sense and are completely unrelated to the post. The reason being that they were made by a script that is programmed to leave the same comment on every blog, forum or whatever. That is why some blogs use ‘captcha’ to filter out these moronic posts.
Hit And Run Commentators: These are those moronic turkeys that usually don’t even bother to read your post. You are probably familiar with these commentators as all they have to say for themselves is “Good Post”, “Nice blog” or sometimes just a smiley face. It’s probably not their fault as they probably don’t know how to string more than two intelligible words together.
The Spam Link Kings: Their whole purpose is to promote some stupid affiliate or to con somebody into parting with their hard earned cash. These commentators may or may not have something to say that is relevant to the post, but whatever they say they always finish with a link to their crappy site. As if it wasn’t enough that we let them have their link when they use the comment form.

As bloggers we all have to deal with these obnoxious commentators and most of us deal with them in the same way, we delete them. New bloggers, unfortunately, tend to hold on to them thinking that building up their ‘comment count’ makes their blog look more popular. Wrong! It actually makes the blog look less professional and you are better off without these worthless comments.

Next I want to outline my top 3 normal commentators, of which only one is truly cherished by every blogger.

Top 3 Normal Commentators

Roaming Commentators: Many bloggers fit into this category. These bloggers search the Internet for posts that offer the opportunity for them to leave a thought provoking comment. The problem with these guys is that you will probably never see them again. They are also known as one hit wonders.
DoFollow Commentators: These have emerged with the advent of DoFollow Blogs. Some are motivated purely because they know that there comment will be picked up by the search engine. There is nothing wrong with this as long as they do not fall into the ‘obnoxious commentator‘ category.
Boomerang Commentators: These commentators are the pick of the bunch, the ones that all bloggers aspire to. They are the ones that continually return to your blog, and it’s because your content has struck a cord in them, one that lures them back time and time again to see what other commentators are saying, to add to the conversation yet again and to also check to see what new post has been added.

The lesson to be learnt from this is that as a commentator, you do not want to belong to the fist group, and even in the second group you should aspire to becoming the highly sought after Boomerang commentator as the more other commentators see you, as long as you leave quality comments, the more relaxed they become around you and the more likely they are to visit your own blog.

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So ask yourself, “What group do I fall into?”, and if it’s the wrong one, it is not too late to do something about it.

As all bloggers have different experiences, and if you can add to either of the two lists I would dearly love to have you comment, just don’t be obnoxious about it.